Even Stars Die - 18. Chapter 18

He's not answering his cell phone.

He's not texting as he said he will.

I managed twelve messages, not one has been answered. My concentration, that lust to win has all but left me. He promised. Maybe promises are there to be broken? Maybe a promise is something that easily turns to nothing? If he can't get here, he should have phoned. An hour to go before the race. I fear that I will never see him again and a lump forms in my throat. Damn it! Why did I confide in this guy? Why did he come into my life and turn it upside down? I was happy not knowing. I was in heaven then. Now it's different, I'm in hell, and Alex will never know that. I know I have to warm up, I can sense Coach is not happy with me for not starting. How can I, now that I know what it's like to feel heartache, and the numbness in my brain? Is this what being gay is all about? To be let down at the first opportunity.

Cape Town smells of mountain soil and ocean breeze. Low cloud moves in from the Antarctic. The sun filters through and sprays the ocean with glittering rays of light. The air is light and cool, and clouds set a table cloth on the mountain. I sit on a bench, wind soothing my face while all around me athletes practice their various sports. In 45 minutes I'll be running the 400m sprint against the best in the country. Pistorius, Shirley and Frazure. All formidable athletes. By far the most famous is Pistorius, known as the fastest runner with no legs. His ambition is to run against able bodied athletes in major events. That meant the 2012 Olympics in London. Pistorius will settle for nothing less. Shirley and Frazure have fast times, not to be dismissed. I have one of the fastest times with the exception of Pistorius, who simply cannot be beaten. All I can do is wait for the outcome.

And for Alex.

'I've been watching you for the last fifteen minutes.'

The voice. I swing around. Alex smiles at me. Winks. 'You thought I wasn't going to make it, right?'

I gaze into his angelic face and feel his love radiate towards me and I don't care about the twelve unanswered text messages.

'When did you land? Why didn't you let me know?'

'I wanted to surprise you.'

'I was thinking you weren't coming. I'm sorry.'

'I will always be there, wherever you are, when you want me, how you want me.'

'I'm just so happy that you are here.'

We move into each other's arms and I feel his breath on my neck, the warmth of his touch makes my skin tingle.

'So are we going to win this thing?' He glances at my Cheetah blades.

'I'm going to give it my best shot.'

'Then you'd best warm up before the race starts.'

I feel rejuvenated all of a sudden. Now I want to win. Nothing can stop me.

Coach smiles the moment he sees Alex. He sees my eyes light up and my posture adjust itself, and I'm ready to do this. Conquer the world. I'm a timebomb.

'How are you feeling? Ready for this?' Coach wraps an arm around my shoulder. His broad smile and powerful grip tells me he's confident.

'I'm ready for this, coach.'

'Then get to those steps.' He pushes me forward, edges me towards an unpopulated part of the stadium, where the steps, seem to be hundreds of them, lead right up to the top of the stadium. 'Once up, once down.'

I ran each step to the top and stopped for a breather. It was then that I noticed Alex wasn't where he was supposed to be.

His seat was empty.

My heart skipped a beat.

'I'm here.' His head appeared from around a doorway. His eyes smiled. 'There are times when the world may seem to be against you. There are times when you need strength and courage. These are times you may never see again. Use this time well, and we'll both benefit.'

I was breathless. All I could muster was a short thank you. If only he knew that hs presence had a hold on me, that all I wanted to do was lie in his arms and feel the warm embrace of his body close to mine.

'Don't I get a kiss.' He whispered. 'There's no one here, just us. Come closer.'

I couldn't help myself. His words pushed me forward and the moment I rounded the doorway, he grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace and our mouths exploded.

Suddenly he stopped, glanced into my eyes for a moment, and pushed me away gently. 'Go. There's a hero in you. You've got a fan.'

I turned, touching the stubble beard on his face and continued down the steps.

Coach scolded. 'What the hell were you doing up there?'

'Took a breather, Coach. Sorry, a bit too long I know. It won't happen again.'

The loudspeaker blared. "Will all athletes competing in the 400m sprint for T3 and T4 athletes, please head for the starting point."

I turned to see if Alex was still up there. No sign of him. I didn't expect him to return to his seat so quickly. But, there he sits, leaning forward amongst other fans of the athletes.

There's a hero in you.

A tinge of euphoria laminates my very soul.

I'm warm in the knowledge that Alex cares.

    * * *

Milliseconds count.,. Deopends on acceleration. Contend with nerves, in a race, so many people watching. in the blocks clear mind and listen for the gun. Best reactions for acceleration will be the strongest. You against everybody else.

Listen for the B of the banfg. Not the g..

B....anG

WHOOAAAA..... the back leg is waaay too far up! move the back leg back about 3-4 inches. watch the first step too. waaay too high off of the ground. you are getting a trajectory straight up. keep your front toe on the ground when in set position. then you won't come out too high. slight back-kick, try to keep driving the hips a tad higher.

Try putting more emphasis on your arm swing, more exaggerated, big and wide, that, and keep your head down more, it's a drive phase so you should be driving more, not just looking down, but head also down. Staty low, pumop legs hard. Eyes down at the ground.

It seems like you;re not driving hard enough with your arms. Drive hard and make your beginning strides as long and as powerful as you can. Stay low.

You look stiff. try too relax.

Alex! It's Alex's voice, clear in my head, driving me. Willing me to be the champion.

Accelerate powerfully and pick up from about 20m, come into the upright oposition at 30 metres and track down to the finish line at full speed.

There is no easy way out.

My strides are long, my arms swing wide, my body leaning slightly foweard as I take the long stretch and i'm running in third position, only one hundred metres to go and my heart is beating wildly, perspiration drizzling off my body.

And then the inexplicable happens.

So clear and so surreal at the same time. Pistorius is a half a metre from Frazure and about to fall into the lead when Pistorius's Cheetah blade just nicks Frazure's left leg blade. Both are tumbling over and squirming on the track. Both out of the race!

Suddenly I'm in the lead.

And I intend to keep it that way as I accelerate and push hard at the track up to the finish line

Coach is already there, holding out his arms in a victory embrace, towel ready. 'We did it! You did it!.'

And Alex is right behind him.

Grinning from ear to ear.