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    Mancunian
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Last Goodbye - 1. The Last Goodbye

Please remember this looks at the subject of death, albeit from a different perspective.
Do not read if you feel that the subject matter may affect or upset you.

Yeah, I know. I've only just woken up, but something feels different. My face feels numb but why? Never mind. I'll get up and shower. That will make me feel better. Why do my arm and leg feel so heavy? I've never felt this bad before. Just stand, get out of bed. This isn't good. It feels like something is pressing on my chest, making breathing difficult. Why is this hard today why? What's happening? Oh god. I'm going to fall.

.....

My head hurts. Why can't I move? Why is my breathing getting so hard? Why is it so dark? I can hear something. Is that the door opening? Someone is coming in. I can hear them. What are they saying?

Thank god, you're breathing. Are you okay?”

No, I'm not, help me. If I can think it, why can't I say it? Who is that voice again? It sounds familiar.

Please hang on. I'm calling an ambulance.”

I can hear some beeping and that voice again.

Ambulance, please..... I need an ambulance immediately please, at apartment 2a, 30 Rollinson Crescent, the postcode is Manchester 5, 2 Alpha Bravo. It's my father he's collapsed and unconscious. He's bleeding from a head wound, his breathing is shallow, and his pulse is rapid. I'm trying to stop the bleeding by applying pressure. Hurry, please.”

Why does he sound so worried, and why call for an ambulance? Just turn the light on and help me up. I'll be okay. I'm tired, I need to sleep, feeling dizzy, everything feels like it's getting distant.

.....

Ow, that hurt. Who's sticking needles in me? Why have I got a mask over my mouth? What's going on?

Another voice. “Jim, we need to be quickly getting him to the infirmary. I don't think he's going to hold on much longer.”

What? What did he say? I'm fine. I'll be fine. I always am. Whoa, what's that stupid wailing noise and why are we going so fast? Oh, I'm feeling drowsy again.

.....

At least I can breathe easier now, but why is this tube down my throat? I wish I didn't feel so dizzy and drowsy all the time. Everything feels and sounds so distant. I'd probably be able to move if it wasn't for all these damn tubes stuck into me, and what is this with all the wires? And that constant beeping is driving me nuts. Oh, I'm getting that drowsy sinking, feeling again. I think I'll sleep.

.....

Who's that I can hear?

Your father is on life support at the moment, which means he is receiving help with his breathing and keeping a steady heart rhythm which we are monitoring. He is receiving nutrition and medication through an intravenous drip. This will sustain him and keep him comfortable for as long as we continue with it.”

Does he need the life support?”

Yes, I'm sorry he does. Every attempt to remove him from it shows that he will not survive otherwise. The likelihood is that for him to survive, it will be permanent. Can I be totally honest with you all?”

That's, that's a doctor, talking to my kids about me!

Please doctor, we probably won't like what you're going to tell us, but we need to hear it. What's happening to our father and what is the chance of recovery.”

As you know your father has previously been diagnosed with a serious heart condition and has been diagnosed with several forms of cancer, all of which are at a point being beyond treatment, and other medical conditions of which you are aware. To be truthful, it is a miracle that he is alive at all. In the last two days, he has suffered a major stroke and a serious myocardial infarction, in layman's terms, a heart attack. He's still hanging on but, in our opinion, it's a losing battle. Even if by some miracle he survives this, he will face a short, losing, and painful battle with cancer. In our opinion, it would be far better and kinder, to remove life support, and let nature take its course. We will, however, support and respect your wishes as his family.”

I understand now. Maybe that explains the other voices that I've been hearing but ignoring. Yes, they've been calling me.

I can hear the kids crying. Please don't be upset. We all knew that it would come to this one day. I'll miss you, and I know that you will miss me, but you're ready to fly on your own. You all have been for a while now. You don't really need me anymore. Let me go and be happy that we had each other for the time we did.

How long do we have before we have to make a decision?”

You can take as long as you want to, but honestly, the sooner, the better. I'd suggest 24 to 48 hours, to give you time to notify anyone you need to and to say your goodbyes. Taking longer will only prolong both his and your own suffering. I'm sorry we can't do more for your father and you as his family. If you want to talk with me again, let the nursing staff know, they will contact me.”

.....

They are removing some of the wires now. I notice that there are a few still left. The tubes from the drips have already gone, so I guess they will take out the needles next. I'm sure that the doctor said to remove the breathing tube last. I'm glad my children made the right decision. It's what I wanted and would have asked for if I could, they know that. I don't want to exist like this, living on machines. That's what it is you know, existing, it's not living, living is when you have a life of your own and can take part with everyone else.

You can have a life taking medication. It just means making a few changes in how you do things. Medication helps life to continue, then, life can be enjoyed, It should be enjoyed. Sometimes you may need to ask for help but that's okay. It's not a weakness. It's a strength, and you can make that choice. Existing on life support isn't a life, it isn't even an existence really.

The breathing tube is gone now, and I'm breathing on my own. How long will that last?

They are letting the kids in now. I'd like to see them one last time, please.

This feels good, I'm surrounded by my family, surrounded by love.

I can feel my eyelids fluttering, they're opening, the light hurts a little.

As I look around, I can see them, my children, and some of my grandchildren, they may have smiles on their faces, but I can see the sadness in their eyes. Yes, I've had my downtimes, but I've had a good life and, I've been blessed, blessed to have the family that I have.

Thank you, I love you all and always will.” Did I really say that? I'm feeling tired. My eyes are closing. I need to sleep.

.....

I can see my family, they are all here, friends too. I can see that my wishes have been honoured. No one is in black. It's such a dreary colour. Everyone is wearing brighter clothes, ready for a party, which is so much better. Just like I wanted, the service is short and includes songs that have meaning for me. Now celebrate the times that we had, and carry forward those memories. I can see that they are sad. There are a few moist eyes and others crying. I wish they wouldn't. The body laying between us is just a shell. I'm still alive in their hearts and always will be as long as they love and remember me. I will always watch over them, even if they do forget me.

It's time, time for me and everyone to move on.

 

Your thoughts are welcome, but please be sensitive and respectful for the feelings of others.
Copyright © 2018 Mancunian; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

Welcome to The Boot World discussion forum. This includes all of the stories from The Boot Series and the Lost Soul Series. The Boot was the first story posted in this collection of stories, it was originally intended as a one-off story. Like many one-off stories, it grew and The Boot Three Years On was written as a follow-up. Some readers asked about the back story of some of the characters, which led to the Lost Soul Series. Together they form The Boot World. Both Series have grown and in
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Chapter Comments

A short an simple message... your time is limited. There is some great description in here concerning the loss of consciousness. Keep on writing... Keep up the good work :)

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5 minutes ago, Backwoods Boy said:

I was puzzled when I received a notification about this because I didn't recognize the author.  After I read it I knew, and I cried with you.  It's a story from your heart, and the way you wrote it is perfect.  I hope this is only the first of many.

 

Thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm not sure when, or if I'll write again, it's tempting though. This I didn't even think about, like said in the notes it was just something in head when I woke up and had to write. I gave it a lot of thought before posting and I'm happy that I did.

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4 minutes ago, Marty said:

I could really relate to this story. It brought back memories of my mother's death fifteen years ago, and the painful decisions that myself and my six siblings had to make in order to respect her wishes.

 

I'm happy that you can relate to the story, but I'm also sorry if it brought back memories that cause you any hurt or distress that was never the intention. I hope that like I do you have good memories to carry forward. :hug:

Edited by Mancunian
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My parent actually discussed this with us when we were still teenagers. They didn’t want to be kept alive on machines and they had DNRs (Do Not Resuscitate orders). We were able to be with my mother after she collapsed and when into a coma – they only gave her pain medication to keep her out of pain. When my father died, he was living in an Assisted Care facility and somehow, the EMTs were not informed of his wishes and attempted to resuscitate him but he died anyway.

My brothers and my friends know I do not want to be kept alive on machines either. I have also told people that they will not be allowed to wear black, only bright colors. There will be no religious sermon or hymns either.
;–)

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@droughtquake I hope that I did not bring back any painful memories, that is not my intention and I am sorry if I did. I know the pain of losing parents, it never goes away over time it just becomes easier to live with. :hug:

I also fully understand your feelings about when your time comes and I sincerely hope that that day is a very long time off, you are important to your friends and family and to many of us on here. :hug:

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2 minutes ago, Mancunian said:

I hope that I did not bring back any painful memories, that is not my intention and I am sorry if I did. I know the pain of losing parents, it never goes away over time it just becomes easier to live with. :hug:

No, my parents died in 2002 and 2004. It’ll be 15 years this fall since my father died. I’ve lived a whole lifetime since then, having been homeless for a little over two years, and having been housed again for more than six years now.
;–)

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@droughtquake from your comments I can see that you are someone with a positive outlook, which I am sure isn't always easy. Your comments and input are important and valuable to me and will hopefully help me and others to understand some of life's aspects better helping us to become better people. Thank you. :heart:

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@Mancunian So this story is about your father. As you said: Early published work is not about having the perfect wording, but giving the story a heart that is able to move its readers.

Quote

there are a few moist eyes

I have to admit, that this somehow leaped over into my eyes.

Thanks for sharing this intimate moment and your thoughts on this! I especially like your depiction of the funeral: Everybody says they don't want their bereaved to not be sad and wear colorful clothes, but often times, funerals don't seem to end up this way.

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@Zuri This is something that was in my head one day when I woke up, I don't know if was me projecting or something else. I only know that it was something that I had to write and did so without thinking.

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Zuri

Posted (edited)

@MancunianOn a different note: At first, your story reminded me of Subconscious Mind, but it took a very different turn.

Edited by Zuri
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