Camp Lore - 37. Chapter 37

“We need to be outside for me to tell you this story,” Andy said, when he came into the Canteen.

He wasn’t there the night before, but I hadn’t been following his schedule – or Nate’s. So the story could have been about a counselor, and I wondered why Andy hadn’t told me when we’d finished teaching the girls.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to,” he admitted, as we started walking back to the boys’ camp.

“That’s new.”

“It’s pretty personal.”

“Then don’t tell me... not if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I want to.”

Though he didn’t really seem ready. So we walked.

“You know what kind of sex I don’t like,” he finally began.

“Quick and dirty.”

I was looking at him in profile, but even so, I could tell he smiled.

“More than that,” he went on.

“You hate being mounted.”

“It’s demeaning,” he agreed.

I tried to lighten things up.

“It’s kind of a rush at times – a wild surrender.”

“If you like that... and the guy knows what he’s doing.”

We never talked about the kind of men Andy was usually with. I knew they were older and taught him a lot. And he passed some of that on to me. But his tips were always based on care, and imagination, and affection.

“Did he?” I asked, assuming it was the older counselor.

“Well, you know Nate.”

I needed to absorb that.

“You let Nate...? He was even interested...? You were...? That’s like facing a bull naked.”

“What do you know about bulls?”

“Less than I know about guys.”

“Which is more than Nate does.”

“Then why did you let him?”

He was silent for a moment, then shrugged.

“I was curious.”

“And he went along?”

“Well, you know... horse to water.”

I laughed. “There are too many animals in here... Which we know nothing about.”

“And none of ‘em are careful.”

“Was he?”

He laughed.

“Maybe as much as any straight guy can be... even one who’s interested.”

“So ‘No.’”

“He tried hard.”

“There’s a joke in that.”

And we laughed.

“Why did you do it?” I pushed on.

“I told you – I wanted to see something. And it may be my last time with him... since it’s already August. And I don’t get a lot of chances with him anyway. But I thought he’d risk it... and – to be fair – he did – kidding all the way.”

“But you were patient.”

“Not as much as you would’ve been... which I kept thinking about.”

“Must’ve been a busy bed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you, me, Nate, and the guy – or guys – you usually do this with.”

“Only one – that’s why I have nothing to compare it to. Except women and porn.”

“Porn’s never pretty.”

“Not what it’s there for.”

“All grunts and lube.”

“And not a lot of laughs.”

I was still trying to imagine Nate on top of Andy – which maybe I shouldn’t have.

“Why’d you risk it ?” I asked.

He smiled.

“It’s really less about what happened with Nate than what I was thinking as I let it. He was busy figuring things out – following his instincts and listening to what I said. And it was clear he wanted to learn – even if he didn’t know why. Maybe ‘cause he knew he might not do it ever again... And ‘cause we both knew he was crossing a line, and there’s only one more big one.”

“You think he’ll ever get past that?”

“I don’t think he’d let himself.”

“And you?”

“You know I have.”

“But not often.”

“Regularly.”

“I didn’t know that.”

He seemed uncomfortable again.

“You don’t have to go on,” I reminded him. By then, we were sitting on the Mess Hall rail.

“I really just want to hold you,” he admitted. “Want to be somewhere comfortable... eating ice cream... with great music playing.”

I grinned.

“That’s as romantic as you get.”

“There is that side of me.”

“I’d like to see more of it.”

He just looked at me.

“It’s been a great summer,” he finally said.

“Thanks... Still, you can stop with your story.”

“No... I have no problem with what happened... And there was no humiliation – I made sure of that. I just wanted to see if I could enjoy it.”

“And?”

“Maybe with someone who knows what he’s doing.”

I laughed.

“Meaning not me.”

“You know more than Nate.”

“Maybe I’d teach better...”

“You’re better all around.”

“I’d have to have been there,” I said, deflecting his compliment. “Which I’m glad I wasn’t.”

“It was fun, actually.”

“Using your body as bait?”

“I’ve done that before.”

“Safely?”

“Oh, yeah. Victor taught me that.”

“Victor?”

He just looked at me.

“Another time...”

I nodded.

“Anyway, once Nate realized he wasn’t hurting me... and that it was a lot like what he’s been doing with girls...”

“Which he has a little experience at...”

“Maybe no more than you or me – if we leave out the older guys.”

“Who taught me how to treat girls.”

He suddenly looked at me.

“Do they know that?”

“Oh, yeah – it cracks one of them up. He calls it ‘Sex Ed for Robbie.’”

“Robbie?”

“You can call me anything you want when I’m naked.”

He grinned but didn’t go on.

“Anyway,” I asked, “are you worried you’ve scrambled Nate s mind?”

“No more than yours.”

“Then scramble away.”

He hesitated.

“You really mean that? I mean, are you honestly interested?”

“In this?”

He nodded, and I needed to think

“Yeah – actually.”

“I kept telling myself, ‘This could be nice – with the right guy.’ And you know I like looking at faces.”

“Is that where it started? From having to face away?”

“No... I see Victor’s face a lot... And I remember other guys.”

“You’ve added some new ones this summer.”

“Yeah... Yours... A lot.”

“It’s shared.”

“You think?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So you’ll think about me?”

“When I’m with other guys? Is that a compliment?”

“It depends.”

I considered.

“I try not to compare.”

“Me, either.”

He hesitated.

“But going back to the other thing,” he said. “I’d really like to try...”

I thought again.

“It’s really a pounding... almost like being an animal... I’ve never understood how guys who’re out of shape...”

“And there’re more of them than not...”

“I’ve tried to slow down... as I do with girls... But didn’t work for one of my guys... He really needed to shout, ‘Take me! Take me!’”

Andy was trying not to laugh.

“Did he really?”

“I was so surprised, I nearly slipped out.”

“I’d like to see that.”

“It seems we’d both like to see things we’ve done with other guys.”

He let that hang.

“Anyway...” he went on. And I knew what he was thinking.

“Andy, anywhere you’re naked...”

And I knew he wanted to kiss me. But we weren’t in the right place.

“But not in the computer shack,” I added. “Not on that floor... And not in the cabins...”

“It was fine with Nate.”

“I don’t want to get caught... And Linden’s my dad’s friend.”

He hesitated.

“Then where?”

I didn’t have an answer.

He absorbed that. Then said, “Let me think.”