Camp Lore - 38. Chapter 38

For the next week, we all had to live with Brian on the brink.

“I’m so close,” he said.

He was talking about both the end of camp and losing his self-control.

“Breaking down isn’t even close. More like exploding.”

“Braggart,” Nate said, now that he could use his full vocabulary in front of us. He was about to dive off the raft the three of us were on.

“I know what I want to do,” Brian went on. “Probably everyone knows. But I’m not sure...”

“You can always quit,” Nate suggested. “It’s not like we’re getting paid much.” And he dove.

But Linden was holding everyone’s checks till the last morning of camp, when we were about to get on the train. So no one could get even half pay.

“My father taught me that,” Linden told us. “Too many people’ve taken off in the last week. It happened even with my dad.”

“Money was never the point of camp,” I told Brian.

“Maybe for us. The counselors make more.”

“Slightly. But even as an intern in New York, I could’ve matched that.”

“And missed Andy?”

“Yeah, well...”

“And I would’ve missed Laura.”

“But is it worth losing Julie?”

“The money?”

“Laura.”

He grinned.

“Round and round.”

“No,” I said. “It isn’t.”

He shrugged.

“Then go.”

He almost seemed to be thinking about it. Then, without answering, he slipped into the water, following Nate. I went after them.

“It’s dumb” Brian continued, when the two of us were walking back to the bunk. “Instead of Julie’s coming here making me think clearly... and reminding me how lucky I am... it’s made me greedy. And since she’s no longer around...”

“That’s stupid.”

“Don’t I know it? But you’re not feeling what I am.”

“Then go swim the lake again. You’ve been doing it for seven weeks.”

“I’ll turn into a fish.”

“Better fish then foul.”

“Now what’s that mean?”

I had to think for a moment.

“I don’t know... It sounded funny.”

I thought again.

“I can’t remember where I learned it.”

Brian thought. We’d stopped on the basketball court to work it out.

“Better flesh than foul?” he suggested.

I shook my head.

“Fox than foul?”

“No.”

He suddenly grinned.

“Neither fish nor fowl,” he burst out, laughing.

“That’s it! Now where did it come from?”

“Probably Shakespeare. Anything I can’t figure out, I blame on one of his dumb plays.”

We laughed, then went into the bunk.

“Though he’s got me square on this,” Brian continued. “‘Neither fish nor foul.’ ‘Neither borrower nor lender.’”

“All things in moderation.”

“Can I mess up moderately?”

“In that case, I’ve completely blown it.”

“Loyalty?”

“Fidelity.”

“That’s got to be Biblical... who else could think of it?”

“‘In the beginning...”

“... there were horny boys.’”

“Men.”

“Boys...”

“Toddlers... drooling out every hole...”

He laughed. “Do you really think of yourself that way?”

“I’m just glad I won’t see Katie for another month. She gets back right before we start school. And we agreed to take time to settle in.”

“But you’ll write...”

“Call’s more like it... text... But like here, I’ll stick to safe things. She didn’t expect me to get in trouble in a boys’ camp... even though she knew there were girls around.”

“You don’t seem like that kind of guy.”

“Seem...”

I laughed.

“And I’m not... actually. Lying makes me too nervous. But it’s like you said on our way to Binghamton... we’re so far from everything... some place we’ve never been and probably never will be again.”

“Would you come back here?”

“Next summer?”

He nodded.

“I doubt it... I never expected to have fun.”

“So no quick trips to New York?”

I was confused.

“To see family?”

He looked at me like I was dense.

“Andy?” I had to ask.

“Duh.”

“I’m still working on it.”

“What if he’s coming back?”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No... I’m just saying...”

I needed to think about that, too.

“So much can change,” I hedged.

“We both know that.”

Then we said nothing.

“Do you want to see him?” Brian went on.

“Oh, yeah.”

“That was a quick.”

I laughed.

“You’re in this far deeper than I am,” he said. “Even if Laura and I loused things up... something we’re trying to dodge...”

“While falling all over each other.”

“Only when we‘re dancing.”

“Which you do all the time.”

“It would still be a one-time mess.”

He grinned, making his unsaid point about Andy. I was still thinking.

“I really don’t think he’ll be part of my life,” I told him. “I don’t see it.”

“And that’s what I’ve got to remember about Laura.”

“‘But if there’s one person I’d like to be friends with after this summer...’” I imitated as well as I could.

“You don’t even sound like her.”

But he was smiling.

“It’s like the stories the guys tell,” I went on. “If we ever went to one of those camp reunions...”

“We’ll say things like that?”

“‘If there’s just one person...’” I whispered.

“‘...that I’d like to be friends with...’”

And we both cracked up.

“Promise me you’ll never say that,” Brian insisted. “Never remind me.”

And he offered his hand.

I looked at it, then at him.

“Only if you keep your pants on.”

And I offered my hand.

He looked at it, then at me – for far longer than an easy decision should have taken. Then we shook.