Camp Lore - 48. Chapter 48

After we’d gotten through breakfast, and some of the guys headed off to catch up on sleep – some of us felt fine – as we were resetting our tables, I asked Brian, “You got anything planned? Or can we do a quick trip to Norwich?”

He looked at me. “Now? Sure.”

“I’d ask for later, but I need to work this afternoon.”

Plus, I wanted to be with Andy. A quick smile during breakfast, with his kids around, wasn’t enough.

“What do you need?” Brian asked.

“Couple of things. They’ll wait, but...”

“No – it’s fine. I owe you.”

He grinned.

“Come on – you gave me your car last night. We’re way more than even.”

Actually, I didn’t need anything from Norwich. I just wanted to get him away from camp, to talk. We got about ten minutes into the ride and were nearing the outskirts of town, when I asked him to pull over.

“You okay?”

“Fine. I just want to talk to you – without anyone around – and don’t want you driving.”

“That serious?” he joked.

“Yeah. I don’t want you smashing up a tree.”

He overly carefully pulled off the road.

“Want to get out?” he asked.

“That’d be good.”

We walked a little way from the car, into what looked like a park or ball field.

“You want to talk about what happened last night?” he began.

“That, too. But first, I want to say something about Andy – about Andy and me.”

That was going to be hard because I’d been thinking about it since we left the island. In the boat. As I fell asleep – though that didn’t take long. Then through breakfast.

“You know how things are with us,” I began. “How things are with him in general.”

“He can’t be trusted.”

I laughed. “Not with his pants off. Half the time, not before.”

“Though he’s great with computers.”

“He’s great at a lot of things. And if you’re seriously interested, you can find out yourself.”

“I’m not interested. At least, not with him.”

“But with me?”

He hesitated, then shrugged, and I realized how irritating that could be. It was something I did a lot of myself and would have to quit in the weeks before college.

“You’re a different guy,” he went on. “I’d feel safer. It would be more like exploring... experimenting.”

I laughed again.

“I didn’t deserve that,” he protested.

“It’s not you – not at all. I was thinking about something else.”

He waited for me to explain.

“I was thinking what if you came out of this summer gay, and I didn’t?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“I didn’t think so – with me, either – I think. At least, no more than before.” I took a breath. “But I really don’t know... and there’s plenty of time to let it work out by itself. I’m comfortable with that.”

He seemed to think.

“You’re a lot looser about sex than I am.”

I started to shrug, then stopped myself, and it must have looked weird. He asked if I was okay.

“A habit I’m trying to break.”

“They’re hard.”

I nodded.

“You move between people so easily,” he went on. “No matter who they are.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. One minute you’re writing Katie and dancing and flirting with the girls – you’re as bad as the rest of us. And the next, you’re off in some conversation with Andy – some intense discussion.”

“In the Canteen?”

“Yeah – and it’s not about computers.”

I laughed. “You should listen to it for even ten seconds – it’s all drool. Andy likes that.”

“And you?”

“It’s funny for maybe five minutes. Then I get bored.”

He agreed.

“And you already know that,” I pointed out. “I’ve heard you do it with Laura.”

“It’s just play.”

“And that’s what it is with Andy.”

“Understood.”

“But you’re still interested in me?”

He seemed to consider.

“Let’s just say I’m jealous – like it’s something I’m missing.”

“It’s nothing,” I assured him. “It’s different... or the same... or something – I can’t really explain.”

Thanks,” he answered. “For being honest.”

I laughed.

“It’s easy to be honest when you don’t know what you’re talking about. Ask me again in ten years.”

“You think we’ll know each other then?”

“Yeah – I’m good at keeping friends.”

And he again offered his hand to shake. And we did.

“You gonna miss Andy?” he soon asked.

I laughed.

“I’ll miss the easy parts... the ‘Hey, wanna...?’ Or just not needing to ask.”

“He always ‘wants ta.’”

“He’s more complicated than that.”

“I’d hope.”

He hesitated.

“But if I asked you... And if I wasn’t drunk and cuffed to a tree...?”

“Maybe we’d only like it that way.”

He laughed and started to unzip his fly. Then he stopped.

“Just kidding,” he said.

“And I was joking about the cuffs... But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

He seemed a little disappointed.

“Okay,” I said, caving. “Let’s talk about you first.”

He grinned. And I just looked at him. And I really wished I could have seen more on the island in the dark. Though it was nothing I hadn’t seen all summer – in the bunk, probably a dozen times a week, in better light..

“The answer is, ‘Yeah,’” I said. “If you were interested, I would be, too. You’re a good looking guy. You’ve got a sense of humor. You’re bright. And thoughtful. And you move really well.”

He simply smiled.

“You make it so easy, Rob. I’ve just never thought of it that way. I mean, I have... because I know all kinds of guys... people. But I’ve never thought of it for me.”

“That happened the first time I was hit on,” I admitted. “I kept thinking, ‘What am I putting out there – that I seemed so available? But it wasn’t like that at all. There are just certain guys – certain kinds of people, ‘cause I’ll bet it happens with girls, too – women... There are certain people like Andy who like to explore – for whatever reasons. Maybe they’re bored. Or maybe they’re trying to get away from something. Maybe it’s just fun... So they hit on people to see what happens. And if it’s good, that’s great. And if it’s not... well, they hope they don’t get in trouble.”

He thought about that. “Makes sense.”

I waited, then slowly began, “And that’s what I want to talk with you about.”

We looked at each other.

“On the island... when your hands weren’t free, and I was tickling you... I don’t want you to think I was taking advantage... I wasn’t hitting on you... wasn’t even thinking about that. The whole thing was so funny... just so ludicrous... the whole summer’s been so unexpected... But good – great – you have – Andy – the guys... And I don’t want to wreck that... We’re friends...” I stopped. “Damn, this is hard...”

He looked at me then cracked up.

“You really did seem serious there,” he explained. “When you said that.”

“I am serious.”

“I know... but you don’t have to be.”

He waited.

“I didn’t feel hit on,” he continued. “Didn’t feel taken advantage of... It’s just a very good way to end the summer.”

He hesitated.

“Laura and I took advantage – but of each other. I’ll talk with her tonight.”

“Apologize?”

“I don’t think either of us needs that.”

“You both had fun.”

He grinned. “No denying that.”

“Though maybe not Julie.”

“No.”

“Though you didn’t let it go that far... out of control. And she doesn’t know.”

“Should I tell her?”

“That’s up to you... But I’m not sure it wouldn’t wreck things.”

“My parents keep secrets from each other... small ones.”

“Mine, too.”

“Though maybe not that kind.”

I hesitated.

“You gonna tell Laura what happened? After?”

He laughed.

“Heck, no... no way... like you said, if I put myself out there like that, we’d be on the floor in seconds.” He laughed again. “Besides, she’d go back and immediately tell her friends. And if there really was a bet riding on her getting to me this summer... well, Brian in a tree might be a lot better than Brian behind the Rec Hall.”

“It sounds like she could’ve had that if she’d wanted.”

“If we’d both wanted... if we hadn’t both stopped ourselves.”

I considered, then asked, “You think the guys haven’t already told other people? And if it doesn’t make it in the last Saturday Night Camp, I’d be surprised.”

He grinned.

“It’s what I deserve.”

“I doubt that... Though it’s as much a joke on the guys – it’ll be Greg’s joke.”

“You think he’ll do it?”

And we just looked at each other again, then laughed. Then he kissed me. Not entirely out of nowhere. And not shy at all, and probably not because we were out in an open field – easily as safe as a dark forest.

“To be continued,” he finally broke off to say.

“Yeah.” I was grinning. “Yeah.”