Camp Lore - 24. Chapter 24

The thing Dan found in the Norwich junkyard, that he figured might be a lot of fun to play with, was a pair of old police handcuffs. The first time he showed them to the guys, and used them when some of us were playing cards, Paul suddenly found one of his wrists attached to his chair.

“Now how am I supposed to play my hand?” he asked.

“You’ll figure it out.”

“Did you do this ‘cause I was winning?”

“Nah. You were the closest.”

The handcuffs soon came off and were passed around with their keys. Everyone inspected them, and made jokes, then they were locked back in Dan’s trunk at the foot of his bed.

After that, they appeared occasionally, usually when Dan was bored. Jim woke up one morning with one of his wrists cuffed to his bed rail. Steve’s ankle was grabbed and fastened to a pipe while he was taking a shower. Paul got it again when he was working on Brian’s car and unwillingly became part of the steering wheel. Every time, the prank didn’t last very long because we had a meal to serve, or general swim, or were headed to Rec and the Canteen. And the jokes didn’t include Nate, Brian, Greg, and me. Dan especially asked Greg not to mention the cuffs in the weekend shows, “‘Cause Linden might take them away.”

“And give us a boring lecture,” Jim added. “I’d almost rather be chained to my bed than listen to another of those.”

“That can be arranged,” Dan replied. And the guys quickly helped cuff Jim to his chair, hands behind his back.

“Now I can’t play at all,” Jim calmly pointed out.

“We’ll spread your cards in front of you and play the ones you want,” Paul suggested.

“Or we’ll choose. You might even win that way.”

“You never do otherwise.”

“That’s right – pick on me.”

The only one of the four who hadn’t been cuffed was Dan – mostly because he kept his toy carefully locked up.

“The thing we have to do,” Paul plotted, “is trick him into using the cuffs when there’s plenty of time. Then grab them, cuff him, and leave him stuck there.”

“Sounds goods to me,” Jim agreed. “Now we just have to outsmart him.”

“That shouldn’t be hard.”

“He’s not stupid,” Steve pointed out. “And he knows how to protect himself.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“What if I pretend to take a nap some afternoon?” Jim volunteered. “Seeing I’m his usual victim.”

“You do get it more than us.”

“For years and years. But I get other things, too.”

“Like?”

“The girls.”

“Oh, yeah – cute Jim.”

“Maybe Dan’s jealous.”

“Nah – it’s ‘cause you take it so well.”

“You make fun of me ‘cause you like me?”

“Something like that.”

“You’re all weird.”

“Well, let’s see if this works.”

It took a couple of times, but finally Dan realized Jim was taking a nap sometimes before general swim.

“So I can stay up later.”

And Dan slipped out the cuffs. And Jim pretended to wake up, partway through, and pretended to fight back. Then he resigned himself to it, rolled over, and said, “Wake me five minutes before dinner. So I can change.”

“That’s no fun,” Dan said, after a waiting a bit. And he got out his keys.

As soon as he did, his friends ganged up, half-dragged, half-carried him out to the basketball court, and cuffed his wrists to a bracket on one of the backboard posts. Almost as an afterthought, they yanked down his shorts.

“Hey! No fair!” Dan yelped. “I never did anything like that.”

“You left me dripping in the shower,” Steve reminded him. “While you all stood there laughing.”

“You had a curtain. And you were inside,” Dan protested. “No one could see.”

“You pulled back the curtain and tied it around the rod.”

“So what? By then, you were sitting on the floor.”

“And you wouldn’t even give me a towel.”

“Oh, come on – you liked it. You’re always showing off.”

“I am not.”

“Then when do you dress so well? You want everyone to look.”

“I wear the same things you do.”

“Nah. We all wear knocks-offs. You wear the real thing.”

“Well, right now, your knock-offs are down around your knock knees.”

That made everyone laugh.

“Real funny,” Dan replied. “Now give me the keys.”

“You couldn’t use them if we did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Handcuffs are designed so they can’t be unlocked by the people wearing them.”

“Says who?”

“It’s something I read.”

“Tell that to magicians.”

“Those are fake.”

“Give me the keys.”

“I don’t have them.”

“Either do I.”

“Keys. Keys. Who’s got the keys?”

“I don’t,” Paul repeated.

“Me, either,” said Jim.

“And I don’t,” Steve finished.

Dan looked at me. I’d just come back from the girls’ camp and figured Greg, Nate, and Brian were at the waterfront.

“Why would I have them?” I asked, staying neutral.

“Well, one of you does.”

“Maybe they’re in the bunk.”

“Maybe they’re locked in your trunk.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Anything’s possible.”

“Will you give them to me?”

“How can we?”

“What do you want for them?”

“He’s bargaining now.”

“Negotiating.”

“Sounds more like a bribe.”

“Let’s make him beg.”

“I won’t,” Dan said flatly.

“No begging,” Steve interceded. “Just give him the keys, Jim.”

But by then, it was too late. Because suddenly Linden was standing behind us. All our backs had been turned.

“You seem to have dropped something, Dan,” he started.

“Oh, damn,” Dan said.

The other guys laughed.

“Or did you have an accident?”

Dan decided to play along.

“Yeah. I was halfway through a jump shot, and my drawstring broke.”

Fortunately, there was always a basketball on the court.

“And then,” he went on. “Trying to grab my shorts and to land without hurting myself, I got my wrist tangled on this bracket.”

It was right at eye level.

“Now, I can’t even bend down.”

Linden inspected the cuffs as if he’d never seen a pair.

“Fancy bracelets.” he observed. “A present?”

“Nah – I bought them myself.”

“A little chunky.”

“I like them that way.”

Linden shrugged. “Your taste.”

Dan seemed to agree, then admitted, “But it’s tough when the clasp snags.”

“How do you usually get them off?” Linden asked.

“We’ll there’s a key – because they’re expensive, and you don’t want to lose them. So they lock.”

“Where is it? The key? Or did you drop that, too?”

The guys laughed again.

“One of my friends has the key – for safekeeping.”

“A close friend?”

“He use to be.”

Linden smiled. “You might pick more dependable friends.”

“I’m learning that.”

“Maybe not provoke them, either,” Linden poked.

“I didn’t provoke them!”

“I suspect,” the camp owner slowly observed, “that you might not be in this... tangle... if you’d been nice.”

“I’m always nice.”

And the guys laughed.

“Well, what fun would that be?” Dan admitted, grinning.

“Fun’s a funny thing,” Linden went on. “It can sometimes bite you.”

“I’m learning then.”

Then Linden stared in Dan’s eyes – as if trying not to laugh.

“Well, I can’t exactly leave you that way...”

Dan looked hopeful.

“But I don’t have the key, either. And I could cut your bracelets... But they’re kinda pretty.”

“I really wouldn’t complain,” Dan offered. “And if you could just pull up my shorts...”

Linden looked again at Dan’s face. Then down at his shorts.

“You know... I’m afraid I’m not allowed to get that close to campers anymore.”

And it wasn’t lost on anyone that Dan’s status had just been slashed.

“Maybe one of your friends...” Linden went on.

None of the guys moved.

“Or not,” Linden admitted. “But you know, it’s also funny... sometimes things appear as soon as you’ve stop looking for them. So I’ll bet... if I just walked away, and you don’t think about it...”

And Linden walked up to our bunk and seemed to inspect a perfectly good piece of molding on one of the windows. As soon as he did, Jim tossed the keys to Dan’s feet. Hearing the sound, Linden turned.

“Well, would you look at that,” he marveled. “It seems you do have friends.”

Steve quickly retrieved the keys and unlocked Dan – who immediately yanked up his shorts.

“Better?” Linden asked.

“Yes.”

“A little cold?”

Dan nodded. Though he was clearly sweating.

“I’d be more careful about wearing fancy jewelry while playing basketball,” Linden began to lecture, and Paul just sighed.

Then Linden walked away.

“One fast question,” Steve quickly called after him.

Linden turned.

“How’d you get here so fast?”

The camp owner chuckled.

“Well, I happened to be in the Boys’ Mess Hall, checking a repair in the kitchen, when one of the girls’ parents was driving to the girls’ camp. And I guess she saw a bit more of Dan than she felt was appropriate and reported it to the Girls’ HQ. Then they called me.”

Dan looked at the basketball court and then at the camp road.

“I was facing away all the time,” he insisted. “She couldn’t’ve seen much. No more than you can on TV.”

Linden looked at the road and then at the basketball court.

“Maybe she doesn’t watch much TV,” he said, nonchalantly. “But she does have two young daughters...”

“Boy, are they gonna be over protected,” Dan observed.

Linden thought about that then simply nodded.

“Could be,” he agreed.