Never say love - 7. Chapter 7

Teenage life is like a ball, you know. It bounces off quite often; finally I had to end up being in a basket. Yep, I was officially blabbering then. My mind was racing in a Formula one game. I tried to keep every fucking thing under control. And that includes the bulge in my pants. Few seconds before it was threatening to rip my pants “thank god” there was hardly anybody walking down in the veranda otherwise I would have been a show boy for free for every eye to see.

Few minutes later, Varun came and sat next to me. He was carrying a Lemon ice tea and coke. He gave me the Lemon ice tea and said "I think this would make you feel better than the coke".

His face was shining like a golden jewel because of the sun shades falling over us. Probably I was imagining all these events. Him talking to me, buying me a not-so-tasty Lemon ice tea. These things might be my dreams and then I realized it’s all really happening. He was watching me drink the tea.

"So you are on face book, huh?" Varun asked me. He grinned at me; there was a little dimple on his right chin. God, he was so edible, I could eat his face all day.

I managed to give him a smile in return.

"So you are friends with Medha huh?" he asked me.

"You know her?" I asked him back.

"Kinda, she was in my school" he said

May be that was not about me, it’s about Medha, I guessed. Brushing the shoulders in the canteen and buying me lemon ice tea and then sitting alone with me in the veranda: that was all about her. Varun the golden king to play with the queen Medha the girl, Sandeep the stupid gay boy is just a pawn he wants to move with. Suddenly I lost interest in his playboy game. I wanted to run as far away as possible; probably to another planet called Mars where there are no girls existing.

I stood up "Listen, thanks for the tea. I gotta go now" I said and turned my back towards my classroom.

But he held my hand and stopped me "Can we see later?”

I wonder why he wanted to see me later on or whatever... I nodded my head and moved on.

Things went quickly that week due to Semester holidays. Anita called me like thousand times and screeched on the phone. My mom never bothered. On Friday night I was watching news on Times Now about the lives of transgenders. My mom quickly changed the channel out of fear. After dinner I went back to my bedroom to chat with Ashwin.

Rishi burst into my room while I was changing my clothes.

"Jeez, don’t you ever knock?” He grinned at me like a dog and said

"Well, I love your shocking face bro" and continued "Are you really wearing floral under wears?" I saw him staring at my boxers which made me queasy.

"At least I am wearing one" I snapped back at him, trying to picture him without one. He would obviously look sexy with that awesome toned body. I wonder if he was clean shaven down there since generally he was a clean freak. Sometimes it amazes me how on earth he finds time to cut his nails perfect every time and keep himself well groomed. He caught me staring at him. But he gave me a wide stare and then a crooked smile "I am awesome, am I not?”.

Suddenly I felt that was my best friend since childhood who has no gay genes in his blood whatsoever standing in front of me. And I was as horny as a bitch even trying to ogle someone I had literally grown up with. My mind was full of dirty thoughts and I feared if ever Rishi found out the kind of thoughts that ran in my mind I wouldn't be sure if he would like to see my face ever again.

He seemed to me in an energetic mood as he always was. With a simple ripped jeans, a red hoodie and curly long hair he looked like a runaway model but with a careless attitude. He never made me feel nervous, his smile always comforts me. But I was not in a good mood particularly that day because of my Veranda situation at my College today with Varun.

"So what’s up with chikki today, not in a good mood, huh?" Rishi asked me. 'Chikki' was a nick name that Rishi gave it to me when he was 9 years old. Whenever we had a man to man conversation he calls me by that name. I kept myself silent not knowing what to say. He was directly looking at my face with a question in his eyes.

"Whats wrong with you these days Chikki?". He asked me trying to read my mind. But I was well versed playing that hide n seek game with him as I have been doing that since puberty.

"Nothing, what’s wrong with me?" I asked him back with a challenge in my eyes.

He stared at my face and then turned towards the window. He was silent for few seconds. It was so not Rishi.

And then I heard him saying with a soft voice, it was kind of at a loss.

"You are so secretive, mysterious and kind of like d-i-s-t-a-n-t" the last word was not like an accusation rather sadness.

I gulped, here was an awesome boy standing in my bedroom who had been nothing but nice to me all these years. He stood by me on all my good and bad times in my life. He even stayed and cried with me for several days when I lost my father. It reminded me that I have been kind of avoiding his calls quite often especially whenever I was occupied with thoughts of my stupid crush Varun. What’s really wrong with me...?

"I am sorry Dog man, I had this fucking internals and I think I am going to fail all" I lied to him.

"When did you ever fail a subject man, no kidding" He smiled at me with an assurance. I thought he was happy that I called him by his nick name that I gave it to him in the very beginning of our friendship.

I was probably 7 years old wanting to get myself comfortable into the new house new city I moved into due to my dad's job transfer. I loved the street; it was so straight with plenty of large trees on the sides. Rishi was living next door. At first I didn’t know that, but I found him riding a small bicycle alone at the playground in my street. He had that puppy dog face with big eyes and black curly hair. I thought he looked like a Pomeranian. I was so bored without a company on a Sunday So I went nearby him and asked

"Dog man, can I have a lift?" my voice was so soft and baby like. He looked at me for few seconds; I wondered what he thought of me then but then grinned back at me.

"Sure, do you have a ticket?" he played along and allowed me to sit back seat of his bicycle. From then, we were inseparable. Luckily, my parents put me in the same school of his. Our friendship grew stronger and stronger by the days gone by. But last few years I had found myself attracted to boys when every Tom, Dick and Harry were talking about girls boobs and legs. Sooner I found that I was different. Then it came as a shock when I realized my crush towards my best friend. No matter how hard I tried it never went away. Rishi grew up even more handsome and attracted girls wherever he went. And I felt sober and alone. I tried to keep a thin line between him and me for the betterment of our friendship. I could never afford to lose him.

I was looking at the windows trying to recall fond memories of our friendship when Rishi brought me back to Earth.

"So would you go with me?" he asked me with a slight hesitation. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Where? I asked him confused”.

"Where you even been listening to me for the past few minutes? I want you to meet Lakshmi" his face was blushing into a strawberry. I looked at him even more confused, but managed to ask "Where?" again.

"Cafe day dude, u, me and Lakshmi?" he said with a restless tone. It seems a vital to him that I meet his future girl friend. I wanted to say 'no' to him, but I could hardly say that to the puppy face he was keeping at that moment.

I nodded my head like a cow ready for slaughter even though I was completely unsure of that arrangement without knowing the consequences that was awaiting to happen.