Never say love - 1. Chapter 1

The alarm cackled sharp at 6 in the morning. With half opened eyes, I tried to snooze it off so I could enjoy my damn sexy dream. I never thought I would stand a chance to kiss and hug Varun even in my dreams. And then the stupid clock had to rub it away. Damn it!

It was the first day at college. The lecturer was a middle aged lady trying to introduce the subject. I was so bored out of it that within a few minutes I went blank and then I heard a boy chuckle sitting on my left side. I turned and looked around and then I saw him.

I don't remember exactly how I felt then but he was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen on earth. He was smiling at his friend sitting next to him. He was so perfect that it seems God must have been envious of his own creation. He got this beautiful golden skin which glow like The Sun. He had this nice curly black hair, toned physic and mind blowing smile. Everything about him, his face, body was so perfect and natural. He could have been easily featured in the cover of a teen magazine. He stopped smiling at his friend and looked at me for a second, probably a millisecond. But that was enough for my one year jerk off fantasies. His eyes were amazing, his lips were pouty and thick. I lost everything then and there. My heart pulse crosses the normal pace reading, my hands were trembling, I thought I was on a different planet all together.

Though I had a chance to talk to him in my lab periods, i could never gather the courage to speak a single word to him. He was in my batch along with Swetha, Kumaran, Antro and Hussain. He looked unnerved of lab classes and used to remain very quite in those periods.

The first year at the college went on like that. Throughout the entire year I never uttered a single word for him. I was not even sure if he knew my name or could ever feel my existence. But I never stopped stalking him, though I knew it was bad. But then, I had no other choice left. I was dead even to talk to him or look at him when he looked at me. Somehow I discovered a little information about him that year. His house was near mine. He traveled through the same route bus. My mom bought me a cheap smart phone but I was more than happy to own that. I like to listen to music. And I like to listening to all those romantic songs with my earphones and watch Varun from the other side while traveling in my college bus.

My mom and I were pretty closely knitted together. We didn't have too many close relatives. My mom managed our finances with her income and ensured I had all the necessities. She works hard and saved money for my college expenses and bought me a laptop and a smartphone. To show my respect for her, I am taking care of her burden in the cooking and household chores. I had few friends from school especially Rishi and Mani. Rishi has been my best friend since childhood. Together, we shared a lot of memories. But I never had the courage to come out to him. Even though homosexuality has been legalised in India, it isn't easy for a teenager like me to openly talk about our sexuality or sex in general. Talking about sex or anything related to it are considered as perversion and against our culture in our country even in this millennium. Probably, this is why there are too many rape cases in India, almost on daily basis.

Rishi and I planned to go for a movie that weekend. He was a big fan of Harry Potter, I didn't know what he like in it neither did I follow the movie. But ever since the first part was released, he had been dragging me to all the theater at the release of the next part. I wonder why a cute boy like Daniel Radcliffe had to carry a stick around in his school putting himself at risks when he could have been sleeping around with girls or boys for that matter. Whatever...

The week was pretty boring, it dragged along like a Mega serial. If it didn't come to an end, I had decided to jump from the vantage point of a lighthouse. After giving us loads of assignments and shits the week finally ended. Unlike other parents, my Mom is very liberal and she trusts me a lot. So I had no issues in getting permission to go for Harry Potter movie on Saturday. Rishi came home early in his bike and picked me up.

He stared at me for a sec and said "Dude, why have you dressed up so well?".

"So what, you want me to be naked or what?". I asked him as a matter of fact.

"Who cares dude, i don't mind you know" he looked at me for a second and then said with a smile, "But i don't want your ugly butt on my bike seat man".

I shown him a crooked smile and said "no problem, i'll stay at home, why don't you go alone for the movie".

Rishi said "I can't do that to my best friend, can I?".

Escape is one of the few theatres in Chennai that I like. Both Rishi and I been there ever since they opened it. within few minutes the movie started. Harry Potter was waving around his stick and babbling all the magic words on the screen. I was praying for a magic to end the film soon. During the interval I have decided to buy us snacks since Rishi took care of the movie tickets. Informing him about my plan for a little snacks, I went to the canteen. Out of the blue I heard a bang and I felt somebody hurled a rock at my forehead. The pain wasn't excruciating but my hand went automatically to the wound and touched it. I felt a small lump on the right. I looked at the cause of the accident and there he was Varun standing in front of me wearing a white casual shirt with folded sleeves and a faded blue jean. There was a sign of concern on his handsome face.

"Sorry Sandy, I missed the target and the stone-piece hurt you, can I take a look at your forehead" he said.