Trainwreck - A Very Guilty Pleasure - 8. All Cliffs All the Time

Frank and Ben jogged through the underground parking to the elevator. They held hands as they ran to the bank of elevators.

"Is the traffic getting worse?" Ben pushed the up button.

"Yes, the drive is taking longer. I wish we could work from home sometimes. We’re nearly late this morning." Frank released Ben’s hand. "I hope Jessie picked up breakfast."

Ben snickered. "The morning mystery meal."

"Ooooh, aren’t we alliterative this morning!" Frank chuckled and Ben joined in.

The elevator chimed softly as it arrived. The pair got in and smiled as the car filled up on the ground floor. Standing shoulder to shoulder, their hands found each other and their fingers entwined.

When they got off on their floor, Jessie was standing at their office door. She held two paper bags. "Good morning, Mr. Frank and Mr. Ben." She waved. "I have your food."

Ben leaned toward Frank as they walked. "Can you see what the bags say?"

"No, but I’ve learned that while she may bring the wrong things, it is usually edible." Frank waved at their P.A. "Good morning, Jessie!"

Frank pulled a keycard from his pocket and opened their office door. He held it open while Jessie stepped inside.

She smiled and said, "Since it’s near Christmas I thought I’d bring some Christmas food."

Ben blurted out, "Christmas isn’t for another month." He continued after Frank elbowed him, "But it’s really never too soon for Christmas."

"Right? I just love Christmastime. I brought eggnog, stollen, camembert and butter! I’ll put a pot of coffee on for y’all." The young woman busied herself while the two men sat down to work.

Frank sent Ben a message: Early, but it sounds great!

The reply came: LOL, right?

"I made your coffee with eggnog instead of sugar and cream. I sliced up everything and buttered stollen for you. I hope you enjoy it." Jessie opened the office door. "Oh, by the way did you hear that Weatherby," she made a face, "I mean, Jason. Did you hear that he and his girlfriend split up? They lived together and everything." She sighed. "Sad, huh?"

Before they could reply, she waved, turned and walked out into the hall.

The office door closed slowly behind her.

Ben and Frank looked at each other and shrugged.

"Let’s get to work on Gerry’s issues, Ben."

"Yeah, let’s go."

The pair drank their eggnog-laced coffee and worked on the script. About two hours in, Ben’s cell phone rang.

"Ben Linton. Oh, John, how’s things?" After a moment his eyes widened. "What!?"

Ben’s exclamation made Frank look up.

"Are you serious? Wow, I’m floored! Yeah, thanks for letting me know." Ben put his phone on the desk and gazed into Frank’s expectant face. "That was John, my agent. They're doing a second run of Let The Wind. Seems suddenly people want it."

Frank jumped up and hugged Ben. "That is amazing! Wow. Congratulations."

Ben hugged Frank back. "Thanks. I can’t believe that it’s due to this crazy show! And so quickly!"

"It’s terrific news! We need to celebrate, Ben."

"Oh … well, we can talk about that." Ben looked at his watch. "Right now, we need to write this soap!"

&&&

The next couple of days the partners spent writing episode five. The process was going much faster now, thanks to familiarity with one another, and with the steps needed to produce a soap. Wednesday afternoon saw the men hand in their script to an eager director.

"Jesus, I don't know what to do with myself!" Ben laughed as he dropped his bag on the couch in their office and flopped down beside it. "It's only two, and we're done with the episode."

"I know." Frank stood beside the couch and smiled down at Ben.

Ben had his head back and gazed at Frank. His Adam's apple moved as he swallowed, and the silence drew on. He reached and took Frank's hand in his own. "I've really liked, ah … just getting closer to you."

"Yeah. Me too." Frank squeezed Ben's hand. "What do you think about …" Frank frowned. "Sorry. Hang on." He pulled out his phone. "Huh. Ike."

He put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Ike."

"Hey. So, can I talk to you? Are you still at your office?"

"Yeah, we're here," Frank said. "Did you want to come over here?"

"Ah, I'd rather come see you at the house. Does that work?"

"Sure." Frank noticed Ben curiously watching him. "I think we can head out early today, if you wanted to meet sooner."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'll see you at the house in a little over an hour."

"See you then." Frank hung up.

"So," Ben began. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure." Frank picked up his coat. "We're done with our work for the day, so I guess that means we can head out, unless you had a reason to stick around here."

"Nope." Ben stood up. "Let's get you home so you can find out what's going on with Ike."

Though it was beginning to snow, Frank was experienced at navigating wintery Canadian roads. The drive back was fine, and mostly quiet as both of the men decompressed from their day.

When they pulled into the drive, Ike's Hummer was already there. A warm plume of exhaust told them that the vehicle was still running. As they got out, Ike turned off the machine and opened his door. "Hey, guys." He nodded at them. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, good to see you too." Ben smiled. "Do you want some hot cider? I'm in the mood for it now that we're eating Christmas food at work."

Ike frowned. "Christmas? It's still over a month away."

"That's exactly what I said!" Ben laughed.

"Yes, I want some cider." Frank chuckled. He knew an attempt to give them privacy when he saw one. "Thanks, Ben."

"What the hell. Sure, I'll take one too." Ike smiled.

"Coming up."

They all entered the house, and Ben went to the kitchen. Ike and Frank settled on the couch in the living room, and Frank looked expectantly at him. "So, how are things going?"

Ike let a big breath of air out in a "whoosh" and lay back. He stared up at the ceiling. "Things are good."

Frank frowned. "Uh, you're not acting like things are good. What's going on?"

Ike didn't move, but he did speak. "Things with Devin and me, they really are good, and that makes me feel like shit."

"Wh …" Frank leaned away from him with a grimace. "What does that even mean, Ike? Why does that make you feel like shit?"

"It's complicated." Ike struggled as he tried to find the words.

"Well, just say what's in your head. I'm not going to judge you for it."

"Cider's up!" Ben announced as he entered. Conversation stopped while he delivered two steaming mugs of cider with cinnamon sticks. Ben motioned toward the stairs. "I'm headed up to chill out a bit. Good to see you, Ike."

"Yeah, same here. See you, Ben."

Ike watched as Ben left to go upstairs. "So, how are you and Ben getting along?" Ike turned again to Frank.

A strange stress response kicked in and Frank chuckled uncomfortably. "Fine! Yeah, we're ah, we're fine."

Ike smirked. "It's cool you guys are messing around. I'm glad."

"We … we're not." Frank felt ashamed about admitting that, though he wasn't certain why.

"Really?" Ike sat back and looked at him. "You guys have never messed around?"

Frank bit his lip and shook his head.

"Wow. Well, all right. I mean, we just assumed. You guys seem so close."

"We are. We're, uh … we're friends." What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ike smiled. "Okay. That's fine too, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Frank heard the defensiveness in his own voice. "Okay, this isn't about us. What's going on with you guys?"

Ike eyed Frank with some bemusement, but he let it go and sighed. "It's just me. I mean, Devin seems willing to try for something more than just fun. He wants me to meet his brother and his wife."

Frank realized that things between Ike and Devin could get serious quickly. "Well, that's good, right?"

"In a way, I guess." Ike glanced at Frank. "I just feel like I'm sort of shitting on us. On you and me, you know? Like what we had doesn't mean anything if I let more happen with him."

"Ike, that's sweet, but you and me weren't right. You know that." Frank took Ike's hand and squeezed it. "It's okay if you want to try dating Devin." Frank swallowed an unexpected knot in his throat. "If you wanted to ... to be with him."

Ike looked down at their hands. "I think I love him, Frank."

A cold weight settled in Frank's gut. "R-really?" He forced a smile and patted Ike's hand. "Well, I did kind of suspect already. That's great, right?"

"Is it?" Ike looked into Frank's eyes.

Frank clenched his jaw and nodded. "Yes, of course it is. I say go for it."

As Ike stared at Frank, he began to smile. "Okay." Ike gripped Frank's hand. "I've not been this happy in a long time. But you're important to me, and I just wanted, I needed to talk to you, and make sure you're okay with things."

Frank smiled. "Of course I'm okay with it. I want you to be happy."

A few moments later, Ike had pulled out of the drive. Frank watched him go, and waved as he turned around the end of the street and out of sight.

Once he was gone, Frank entered the garage. It was silent and chilled inside, with just enough light to see. He walked past metal rack shelving to an old armchair he had planned to reupholster someday. Frank sat heavily in the chair.

There, alone in the dark and cold, he tried to understand why he felt like he was coming apart at the seams.

&&&

Friday, the intrepid writers purposefully started and finished work late, then got dinner at a local ramen shop. Once full of soup and noodles, they headed to Woody's for another viewing of their soap.

"I wonder what they'll think of this one." Ben rubbed his hands together to warm them as they entered the bar. It was snowy and cold out with two more inches forecast over the weekend.

Frank put his hands on Ben's and rubbed life back into them. The action was unconscious, and Ben smiled as Frank took care of him. "They'll love it." Frank snickered. "Well, until the end. I so want to see their reaction to that."

Ben enjoyed the evil little laugh from his partner, but more than that, he loved the way Frank treated him. I don't know what this is with us, but it's nice to be touched.

After they took off their coats and handed them to the coat-check, Frank slid an arm around Ben's shoulders. The bar already had something of a crowd even though it was still a bit before ten p.m.

Smatters of conversation from the patrons came to their ears. Almost everyone in the place talked about the soap. The pair looked at one another and shared a grin as they stepped up to the glossy, wooden bar.

A few minutes later, they had drinks and settled at a tall table in a corner with a nice view of a wall-mounted screen. Sure enough, ten came and the television switched to the opening sequence of the soap.

The guys silently toasted, then settled in to watch.

As the Houseboat Floats, Episode 5

It's very early in the day. Weatherby sits at the table in the houseboat he now shares with Lupe. He sips from a cup of black coffee while he reads the newspaper. He adjusts the black rubber gloves that keep his sparks at bay. "Lupe, baby, look here." He holds out the paper, while waving it.

Lupe is dressed only in some basketball shorts and turns to gaze at his boy. A voiceover reveals Lupe's thoughts. Damn lucky ... I surely is. Grinning, he walks to the table. "What’s got you so excited?"

"Here, look. In the city … this headline; Doctors Flummoxed As People Turning Gray. Their desire for sex insatiable."

"Huh? What devil be causing dis?" Lupe scanned the paper and handed it back. "Dem be sex zombies, like our neighbours done is. A couple is okay but we can’t have all turning to dem."

The younger man stares at his lover. "What do you think it is?"

"Well, them boys next door got hit with comet stuff. But not so many coulda done. So, maybe something they is eatin’ or drinkin’?"

"Maybe so."

"Hush, boy. I done heard a car. Let me have a little look."

"Be careful. Could be Stella come back for me." Weatherby stands and puts a hand on Lupe's bare chest. "Don’t let her take me."

"Dat bitch ain't never gettin’ you off Lupe. Don’t you worries ‘bout dat." Lupe picks up a large knife and leaves the kitchen.

Outside it is dawn. Birds are chirping. It’s early and no one is around. Lupe hides himself behind a bush and watches as an Environmental Services car pulls up.

From it, Officer Samuel Swoun emerges with some difficulty. He is not terribly tall and has a beer belly. He walks to the rear of the car and removes a black sample case.

As the officer waddles down to the dock, Lupe walks around to meet him. "Help you, Officer?"

The short man turns, surprised. "Ah … oh, good morning. I’m here just to get some water samples and a fish."

Lupe picks dirt from under his nails with the large french knife. "Dat so? Dis be mine here. You got some proof of who you is?"

Swoun eyes the knife. "Why yes. I can show you …" He opens his notebook and hands Lupe a sheet of 8x10 paper.

"I see. Well dis look nice and legal." Lupe grins at the man and hands back the document. "Helps youself to a fish or two."

"Thank you." Swoun moves to the end of the dock, kneels awkwardly and opens the case. He puts on gloves and removes some sample bottles and takes off the tops. Lying prone, he dips three bottles in to get samples. After struggling back to his knees, he labels them and packs them into plastic bags and puts them into the case.

Lupe leans on a piling to watch.

The Environmental Services Officer takes out a foldable fishing rod, adds a fly and casts into the water. Seconds later, he feels a tug on the line and reels in. The fish is slate gray, with white eyes, and it snaps wildly. Avoiding the flashing jaws and teeth, the Inspector puts an icepick through the fish's brain.

Now fully aware, Lupe jumps to his feet. "What da fu …" His eyes fly to Swoun.

As he wraps the zombie fish and stores it, the chubby man says, "Bastard ugly things." The Inspector packs up and walks past Lupe to his car. "Zombie fish, zombie people."

Lupe stands there with his mouth agape for a moment. He watches the car drive off in a cloud of dust. "Two plus two."

The dock owner starts back toward his home when he hears his neighbours. One of them is crying pitifully.

Lupe knocks loudly. "Hey! You twos okay?"

The door opens and Gerry stands there, no longer gray. "Something is wrong with Tom."

"Dere been da same wrong with yous. How come … why you aint a zombie no more?" Lupe cranes his neck trying to see Tom. "Why’s he cryin’?"

"He wants sex. Something happened, and now I can’t satisfy him." Gerry grimaces. "Will you try? I’m sorry to ask."

Lupe, still shirtless, pushes past Gerry. "Course I will. It’s da proper thing. Lupe be a good neighbour." He walks into the bedroom and closes the door. "Tom, I is here to help."

"Sssex?"

"Yes, boy. Daddy Lupe gonna make it all right."

Weatherby, tired of being alone, goes out to find healthy Gerry leaning on the railing. "Wow you look better, Gerry!"

"Do I? I don’t feel better. My poor Tom, I can’t satisfy him. Lupe is in there trying now."

"What? Lupe is doing what?"

"Fucking Tom. He can’t live without sex, and I needed a rest."

"Well, isn’t that nice of my boyfriend to be such a selfless bastard," Weatherby grumbles. "How long has he been in there?"

"Oh, two, three hours now. He’s a machine!"

Weatherby sighs. "So it seems."

At that moment, Lupe drags himself out of the bedroom. He is cut, bitten and bleeding. "My god! Dat boy needs his partner back. Sweet boy … you go on in now. Maybe your sweet electric cock will help this poor zomboy."

"You want me to fuck him?" Weatherby backs up a few steps.

"Yeah. He needs us round the clock. Your turn. It be life or death." Lupe shakes his head. "Don't let him screw yous. Yous be a zombie in a hour if you does. Yous do the screwin'."

"Um … okay." Weatherby goes inside and closes the door.

From outside Gerry and Lupe hear Weatherby, "Okay … just a second. Wait!" The sound of tearing cloth was clear through the door. "Shit. Okay, I’ll need a new pair of shorts ..."

Within a few minutes, rhythmic zapping sounds and moans filter through the window.

Gerry stares at his hands. "We need to figure out … I need to … oh Lupe, what are we going to do?"

Lupe rubs Gerry’s back. "Don’t worries. Lupe knows his math. Two plus two. Once my sweet electric boy is done, you goes back in. Den me and my boy gonna brings you what you needs to help your zomboy. Okay?"

"Yes, okay."

It wasn’t long before Lupe cocks his head. "Gerry, yous hear dat?"

"No, I didn’t hear anything." He stopped and listened more carefully. "Wait … yes. It sounds like 'help'. Help! Weatherby? Oh God, something's wrong!"

The pair run inside and find Tom curled up on the bed moaning and Weatherby sitting naked beside the bed. He looks up at the men, fatigue apparent on his face.

"I can’t … I'm out of juice. Tom took it all. But he’s fading away." Weatherby puts a barely-sparking hand on Tom's now nearly-white leg. "Lupe … I think he's dying."

&&&

The end credits begin to roll.

"Fuck! No, you can not end it that way! Bastards!" The wail of a half-drunken patron made Ben snort.

"I have to watch the next one. I'm sucked in now."

"Someone should have warned me how addictive this show is."

"God, all of the actors are hot. I wish I could have seen Weatherby and Tom going at it, though!"

Frank chuckled darkly. "Now I feel like we're really writing a soap." He thought a moment, smirked and raised his glass. "To cliffhangers."

Ben laughed and his glass joined Frank's. "To cliffhangers!"

&&&

"Terrence, I am … troubled." It was early Monday morning. Gail sat at her desk, her hands on the surface with her fingers interlaced.

Terrence knew that Gail had many connections, and there was a potential that she had caught wind of the board's scheme. Knowing he played for very high stakes, he cleared his throat. "Oh? What disturbs madam?"

Gail watched him carefully. "A little birdie has told me that there is grumbling within the board." She stood, removed a cigarette, and lit it, eyeing Terrence while she took a drag. Gail tapped her foot. "I think it's time to pull their teeth. We're going to do a stock buy-back. Once I have a majority share in my company again, then it won't matter what they want."

Terrence frowned. "Madam, the only stockholders are the board and a few select others. They'd never sell stock to you, they'd lose what power they do have should you secure the majority."

Gail's smile was savage. "Yes, you're right." She cocked her head. "But, they don't know you from Adam. If a new investor came along, one with money enough to snap up some shares and line the pockets of some greedy board members …" Gail let the statement hang in the air.

Terrence's mind spun. Halsten certainly knew who he was, as did the rest of the board. Is this her attempt to draw me out? To test me? He didn't see a way out without arousing suspicion. "Is madam proposing that I own these shares?"

"Legally, yes. If you owned 1.8% of the available shares, then that would push our combined total to 50.1%." Gail put her palms flat on the desk and leaned forward, her eyes boring into Terrence's. "This means I would need your help should the board turn on me."

"I … I am flattered by madam's trust." Terrence tried to think faster than he needed to speak. "I would be honored to assist in any way that is needed. Of course, I will help ensure SNET remains in your hands."

Gail took another draw on the cigarette, still watching him. Terrence felt a bead of sweat begin to roll down the side of his face, and he turned slightly so it was out of her sight. Another agonizing twenty seconds passed. Finally, she smiled. "Good." She waved him away. "Go on. I have to make some calls. Oh, I am expecting a call from Vince, the fellow from Pornhub. If he calls, inform me immediately, no matter what."

"Yes, of course, madam."

Terrence left the office. He wiped his face and exhaled in relief. His scheme could still work.

He quickly walked to his private restroom and pulled out his phone. Impatiently, he waited for the line to pick up.

"Halsten here."

"Sir." Terrence wet his cherry chapstick flavored lips. "Things will need to move faster than originally planned. I'll explain, but there will soon be a stock buy-back, and it will be in my name. You must allow it, or the plan is likely forfeit."

Terrence spent the next ten minutes explaining what Gail had revealed to him. By the end of the conversation, Halsten had called for the board to meet that Friday with Gail's and all board members' attendance necessary.

"You've done well, my boy." Halsten purred with satisfaction. "Her maneuvering has put a nail in her coffin. I'll expedite the share sale. Once you have them, her time is over. We'll force her out, and you'll have that executive position you've always deserved."

"Thank you, sir. I look forward to it."

Terrence hung up. With a determined gleam in his eye, he exited the restroom, ready to finish the best performance of his life.