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RIP - Comicality
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About this blog

An examination of my own whirling thoughts, opinions, and rabbit holes.  Most if not all posts will center around writing and my motivations for undertaking such work.

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Entries in this blog

Why I Write

I don't have the best grasp of the mechanics of writing.  I am sure I give my poor retired school-teacher editor fits (it'd be worse without Grammarly).  Yet, I still feel my work has merit.   Emotion and its description is something I love to do.  I love making a reader laugh, cry, or shake their head in frustration at a character.  Best, is when they empathize with the poor choice the character just made.  The reader gets why the decision happened because they're on the same emotiona
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

8

When Skunks Attack

Last night, I wasn't in the best place.  Introverted, still sort of spinning.  But, wildlife doesn't care about my moods. Our chickens were restless.  It was dusk, and we went out to investigate.  I spied a little skunk - small enough to squeeze between the wire that made up the chicken run trying to hide in the darkness of the run.  So we're out there, trying to get this little confused, scared critter out of our chicken run AND avoid getting sprayed.  Kevin grabs a wire door, to block off
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

10

What Makes Me a Man?

Caution: Some personal stuff concerning sex and sexuality is in this post. The reason I post it is for my own thought process, and with the idea that it may prompt other guys to go get tested if they're having problems. That said, here we go. I'm not very evolved when it comes to some things, I suppose. I fully accept that there are men out there born genetically female. That's not at issue. I don't define their maleness; my role in knowing and supporting trans folks is to acknowledge
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

17
Blog

Well, It Happened

Looking at all of the numbers related to the Delta and Omicron variants, I suspected since I'm in healthcare and my husband is in one of those "Essential Services" positions with lots of customer service interaction, that it was only a matter of time before we got hit. The night before, I felt ... odd. Cold. I went to bed dressed in a sweater, sweat pants, a knit cap and two pairs of socks. I woke the next day to largely the same symptoms. But I was feeling mostly okay - to the point where I deb
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray in Blog

8

Well Adjusted?

"You know, for a guy who grew up in Kentucky, you seem pretty well adjusted to the whole gay thing."   I thought about what Greg had said as I drove home.  I hadn't replied other than to smile and nod.  What would he feel if I told him all of it?  I toyed with the idea, but it was too early for that.  He didn't need to know just how damaged I was.   Regardless of my choice to keep the entirety of the truth from Greg, I couldn't stop it from replaying in my mind.  It was just
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

4

Week Three Begins

I now have two weeks under my belt, and I'm beginning week three of my workout/meal regimen. I'm still getting used to some things, but it's a lot easier to roll out of bed at 440 than it was when I started. So far I've lost four pounds and gained strength on the bench and under the bar. It's rare for me to do both at once. I am enjoying this combination of routine and meal planning. If you're interested at all, here's what I'm doing. I hid the details behind spoilers ... because, frankly,
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

21

Was it ever Broken?

With all my free time (hahaha!) I've been going through a hard edit of Camp Refuge.  It's sort of the story where I found my favorite subject matter.  It was where I decided I was no longer a writer of "porn with plot", but rather "erotica with purpose". Head-hopping became my enemy after Camp Refuge.  I realized that I did it a lot, and I felt I had to eliminate it in order to improve, and grow.  So I did (mostly). Yet, as I edit and as more players are added to the mix in Camp Refuge
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

27

The Strong One

I've always been the helper - the strong one.   I'm the one people go to, to be heard.  I'm the one people know can handle more.  I carry my load, and then yours, and theirs, and the world's too.   But today, I didn't want to get out of bed.  I feel like there's a band of iron around my chest like the world is crushing me.  There's no reason, and if there's no reason then there's no fix.   There's nobody in my life who I can lean on, simply because I've never asked
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

7
Blog

The Sawmill - A Gay Campground

A reader emailed an article written by a woman detailing her struggles finding acceptance for both herself and her partner. The story details them sort of falling into life in an RV, and making their own path. It's a great read, and she has wonderfully perceptive views. Take a look. Gay and Lesbian RV Living After I read it, I was curious; I followed the link in the article to the campground in Florida called The Sawmill. And there it is. A warmer, sunnier, more tanned, though les
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray in Blog

14

The rheal

Do you really want to know who I am? Or do you want the carefully edited version of who I want you to see? Of who I expect you'll want to see? Because the real me? Well, he's doughtful, and questi0oning, and drunk, and scared. And he doesn't really know what tomorrow will bnring. Reality is niot clean or carefully designed. It simply is. And if you can't handle  that, then you should unfollow this imperfect vessel. And maybe follow someone who will more careully alighn himselrf wi
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

8
Writing

The Hazards of Love

There's this album by "The Decemberists", and it's called The Hazards of Love. The first time I heard it, I didn't know it was an epic. It's a story, and it's told from song one to seventeen, in order. The title fits as well as a tailored glove. It's not all good, and it even ends in ... well, nevermind. I'll let you listen to find out. Regardless, a couple of days ago, I had this scene slam into my head. If you want to read the unedited, raw scene, it's here. In it, we watch someone s
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray in Writing

3

The Best of Us

It's so easy to be worn down by the world.  There are so many bad stories, a crushing amount of awful news, that it is just overwhelming if you allow it. So I tend to find and focus on the possible good that people can do. I'll stop here.  The story speaks for itself.
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

4

Thank You

@Mikiesboy: Thanks for patiently explaining how the Life works from the sub perspective.  I appreciate your time to help me get it right.  FYI, anything I get wrong down the line in my writing is my own fault.  Without you, it would have been worse. @Fae Briona: The other side of the coin - the Dom perspective.  Your insights and your time reading my latest work have helped considerably.  I know that some of it wasn't easy to get through.  Again, anything false in my writing is my own failu
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

2
Blog

Stinky Nature

As anyone who read my last entry knows, I like to work out. It's something calming, something I control, and it is therapeutic in ways nothing else is in my life. So during today's lunchtime, I strolled out past our garden to our garage. I offhandedly noted that Kevin had been working on the garden, and caught the barest scent of the chicken manure he'd used in his raised beds. No biggie. It wasn't too bad, and I was raised on a farm - I had smelled far worse. I started my workout in our de
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray in Blog

15

Proof of Concept

In Fleeting Eternity, Tad, one of the main characters is an artist.  He drew in a graphic novel style, and he depicted many of his experiences in a sequential way - essentially creating a wordless, "novel" of his life over the span of a few years. So many readers asked if the story was based on something I had read, if there was such a book.  It made me think about the possibilities, and mourn my lack of skill with drawing. I'm nothing if not stubborn, so I thought around the problem. 
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

9

Playing God

I never thought I'd be playing God. I manage twelve small clinical labs, including the staff that go along with them. I plotted out minimum staffing levels to run each. I asked for volunteers to go on unemployment while our business contracted, and patients stopped coming in for routine visits. The idea, so beautifully expressed on paper, was to have those "extra" staff waiting - out of the line of fire, and hopefully staying healthy away from the front lines of this epidemic. One of t
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

5

Penance

I hate watching people tear down others for simply living their lives. You'd think that within the LGBTQ community we'd have figured out how hurtful and damaging it is to do this to one another, but we've still such a long way to go. Some of it is so very subtle. People who are pushed to the fringes of an already marginalized community have it the worst. They get used to little jabs, "good-natured" fun at their expense. Usually these come from the people who they depend on to understand the
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

8

Ninety Days

I recently went to the doctor. Had some routine blood tests done that I've not had in a long time. My vitamin D levels were low, while cholesterol and a test called CRP (c-reactive protein, a test that shows inflammation) were very high. Even though I work out hard, I'm predisposed to high cholesterol and heart disease. I have three months to knock my numbers down. If I can't do it on my own, then I go on meds for the rest of my life. I've always said that I won't do medication when ha
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

27

News I Needed (COVID-19)

I have a meeting every Monday morning. In that meeting, we discuss SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, and specifically news and our response to the virus. Today the following information was released by our medical director, based on a huge sample study of folks who had been previously infected Concerning reinfection: To date, we have proof that five of thirty-eight million people have been reinfected by SARS-CoV-2.  This means once someone gets the virus and
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

5

Many Hells

There are many battles and many Hells. To those who have walked through their own torment and are still here - don't let anybody say that you "should just move on." Just because they've not been tested doesn't give them the right to belittle how hard you had to fight to survive. You're still here.  That makes you a warrior.  The others?  The ones who don't know?  Lucky them.  Let them sit cocooned in their soft world. But we know, don't we?
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

15

Making the Light

"My batteries are almost gone, and it's getting dark." This was the slightly-romanticized description of the last transmission from the little, tenacious rover, Opportunity, on the planet Mars. It had been there and operating for fifteen years - thirteen beyond the wildest dreams of NASA engineers. It heavily depended on solar power, and over time the dust storms on the planet slowly covered its solar cells. That last transmission came when a planet-wide dust storm hit. The rover sent the t
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

11

Into the Oaty Unknown

tim shared his Apricot-Almond baked oatmeal recipe, and I thought ... "Yeah, there are eggs, cream and butter in it, but ... the oats and nuts will help with the cholesterol. It should be okay if I don't go crazy and eat half the pan. Okay, let's go to the store for ingredients!" Off I go. I spend forty minutes in total driving there, walking around with my barely acceptable "I don't care" hair, selecting stuff, then driving back home. Once back here, I begin the process of prepping the dri
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

15

Howl at the Moon

I'm pissed. Maybe I shouldn't be. Perhaps I should expect less; I don't know. I post work on multiple sites.  Well, on a different site I've built a reputation as a sort of HEA, feel-good, everybody wins writer.  I guess I should have known to post my aggressive, erotic story Silverwolf there would throw people (even though I put a warning on the first chapter to explain it was very different from my usual offering). I am utterly fine getting emails to say that "Hey, this isn't my
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

29

Houseboat Adventure

We’re now on the road, headed back from our house-boating vacation. The first thing we did was load everything onboard, then we got a crash course on not crashing the boat.  After our thirty-minute briefing, we pulled away from the dock and onto the open water of Shasta Lake. Our only goal was to have a good time.  To that end, we tooled along on the beautiful and sunny lake until we found a safe, secluded little inlet. We docked by motoring slowly forward and gently kissing the s
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray

11
Blog

Hope

My husband and I had our first night out in over a year in a physically distanced, but indoor dining situation. We went to a spot we love - a little, intimate place with dark, burnt orangey walls, ferrous-stained concrete floors with these glorious cracks filled with rust, and of course a terrific menu. The servers all wore masks, and all the patrons did too until served. Between courses we masked up again, and were all more than six feet apart from other tables. To add a bit of security, I
Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray in Blog

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