Having the day off is such a wonderful thing - most of the time. This week, despite being 'furloughed' on Monday - which is a crock of pig dung because a furlough is not the taking of a day's pay, it is the taking of a day's pay and telling you that you don't have to work. What they did was take away a paid holiday but call it a furlough so they don't have to give us a day off which is how it is supposed to be - but I digress.

I was trying to be productive. I have a list of things I want to get done by Friday and a couple more by Sunday night; In no particular order of importance, my list was, renew the registration on my Jeep, renew my driver's license, get my oil changed, handle the recall and get running boards for my Jeep - hey I may be gay but I do love my Jeep Wrangler - go see the doctor about getting a new prescription for my happy pills, finish Second Shot, clean my office in the house, go through my closets and purge purge purge so I can give stuff to Goodwill. I'm sure I'm missing stuff but that was a good chunk of it.

Having finished Chapter 46 and sent it to Antya for Beta-ing yesterday - I decided to tackle something else first thing in the morning and resume the writing later on. The license and registration should be easy enough I thought - when Mike renewed the registration on the Subaru it was a snap. That and my hair was at optimal picture taking length. Not too short, not too long, not unruly, it was the right time. Shower, pick out the right shirt, I'm good to go [Okay enough of the 'Big Queen' comments. Yes I know, but I'm going to have this picture for 5 years, I might as well try a little.]

I get there at 930 - it opened at 830, shoulda gone at 830 but I had to post chapter 42 after a couple of readers - who shall remain nameless but whom I love dearly - reminded me yesterday that Wednesday follows Tuesday and that new chapters come out Wednesday's and Saturdays. I brewed some coffee while I finished posting the chapter- with baby on the way, I've been 'told' to curb my coffee purchases - then happily set off to strike another item from my list.

Like all DMVs, Maryland's has lines, but truly, this was not so bad. It was orderly and but for the cranky bitch snarling at people as they walked in, it was reasonably well run. The snarky bitch was crabby about everything - don't stand here, stay away from the automatic door, its letting cold air in, blah blah blah. But the worst was - and for this she gets the award for bitch of the day - this well dressed, older man, with a cane, took - gasp - two whole steps past the end of the rope and she yelled at him to get back. Mind you there are no signs saying stay behind this point until called, she just liked to yell. But being lucky, I got to use the automatic machines to renew my registration and left her behind.

$180 poorer, I had my little gray "13" sticker for my license plate so I went to the other side of the building to do my license. Luck was with me again, just as I walked up, this DMV employee starts walking down the line asking who needs to just renew their license. My hand goes up, he hands me a number and sends me out of line to the seats - Woo Hoo, I am flying through.

My number is called and again I'm doing well, the guy is really nice - amazing right? I pass the eye test, he takes my picture, I sign that the information is right, I'm about to pay the $30 and wham - road block.:mace:

He tells me my DC license was suspended in 2007. Huh?? I moved out of DC in 2002. He was nice but of no help. He gave me a notice saying why they wouldn't renew my license, the number for DC and told me if I could get it resolved today, I didn't have to wait in line, I could just come back to him. I asked if he was joking, today? Get DC to fix it today in time to come back?

Sadly, when he said this, I knew the problem. In 2005 I had to renew my VA license - we went from DC to VA in '02 then when VA passed the anti gay amendment to the state constitution and said two men could NOT adopt together, we moved to MD in '06. BUT in Jan 2005 I was told by VA that DC suspended my DC license - which I didn't have - due to unpaid tickets. When i went to the DMV they told me it was a young black female whose license number was almost identical but the last two digits were backwards, i.e. 27 & 72. Somehow the dyslexic officer who gave her a ticket - well three actually - transposed the digits - now I suspect maybe she changed or had changed the digits on her license to create just this problem but I can't prove that - but 3 times? That's a lot of coincidence. That get's explained below.

Back in 2005 the guy fixed everything, and I got my license. 2006 changed it to MD - no problem, 2011, suddenly it's back. Evidently in 2007, despite a note on my account saying no further activity on this account, they suspended me again because during the computer change over, the removal of the suspension got lost. Of course I got no notice.

Now, DC's DMV is terrible. First off, they sent me to the hood - and I am not exaggerating. The DMV shares a government building with the Police Homicide Division. It's there because that is where most of the homicides take place. I was - no lie the only white guy in the building for the better part of an hour. When you get there, you wait outside because the line inside is so long. They only let in as many people as will fit inside in the rope line, everyone else waits outside. An hour and ten minutes later, I get inside and get a number.

Off I go to find a seat. There are A, B, C, D, I, and K, groups each with numbers. I was K102, they were serving K74. :wacko: Yup long wait. I amused myself playing Angry Birds on my iPhone until a Homicide Detective I know shows up. Big guy, blocks the sun big. He sees me and stops, says hi, badge out, gun in holster, visible to all. Then he says, he saw me come inside and was looking for me.

Okay, remember, I am the ONLY white guy in this place and EVERYONE is now watching the Detective say, he came in looking for me. I'm like, wonderful. Of course, it is soon evident this is not me getting arrested, but I somehow work with them, so no one cares and they go back to being grumpy. The Det. leaves after telling me to call when I am done, and I sit some waiting. Finally, an hour and fifteen minutes after I get K102, I am seen. The woman asks for my license, she puts it in, mind you it is a Maryland License and I am in the reinstatement line at the DC DMV. Rather than ask me why am I here, she informs me that when I left DC I had unpaid tickets and why didn't I pay them and I owe $575 now.

Refraining from using the Fist of Death on her - this close to the Homicide Branch I knew I'd never get away with it - I explain, 'no I've never had a ticket - these tickets belong to a young black female and in 2005 I had it resolved.' She punches a few keys, prints out a few things, circled a couple places and I figure I am golden - right? Wrong - "Take these papers, go sign the book, you need to talk to a supervisor. They'll call you. It won't be long.' Right - the checks in the mail, I won't cum in your mouth and I'll respect you in the morning.

I sign the book and call the Detective. I won't be able to come over, can you come back and can we talk here? Sure, be right there. So by now, most of the crowd that was there when he first came are gone and again, everyone stares. There is another white guy in the place now, but he is staring too. While the Det. and I are speaking the Security Officer - the only person in the place who DIDN'T see the badge and gun - asks if we are waiting to speak to the supervisor. I say, 'yes,' Det, says, no, he's here to see me. NOW she sees the badge and her hand goes to her night stick - no lie. She asks the Det if he needs help. After he tells her I am a prosecutor and he is asking about a case, she relaxes, but by now the whole DMV knows what I do. Great.

Finally the supervisor calls my name, this is 3 plus hours after I arrive. Honestly, I felt bad for her. The wonderful world of DC government has created this absolute hell hole of a system then made it so certain things require a supervisor's attention, and she was the only supervisor on duty that day. So not only does she have to help the special cases, - i.e. the REALLY grouchy people -she has to be sure the people are working, the staff is where they are supposed to etc. I was as nice as possible to her, because she, like me, had been furloughed on Monday and she has to deal with all these grumpy ass people who have had to wade through fire and brimstone to reach her and she more times than not couldn't help them.

She takes my papers, sees that the citations were issues to a 29 year old black female named Daneeka Tarrance, who lives, surprisingly - not too far from where I stood. She also noted the annotation in 2005. Perplexed she delves deeper. She pulls my driving history since 1997, finds where I gave up my DC license in 2002 - before all the citations were issued. Finds all the tickets were to same woman, and then tells me that somehow, we both have the same driver's license number now.

What happened is that when the first officer screwed up the last two digits, the system assigned her name to my account as an alias. The supervisor, deleted the alias, wiped out the suspension, issued a letter of correction saying my license was suspended in error, and then issued me a letter of clearance saying I have no suspension. As predicted, it is too late to drive back to the Maryland DMV so it is a 4 p.m. and I have gotten only 1 think done - registered the Jeep. Still, I thanked her, get her name so I can write her boss. Then she says, hold on with a smirk.

Daneeka if you see this, your license is now suspended and you owe D.C. $575. Have a nice day.