Hitting rock bottom at 21 is pretty impressive I think. No? Well...ok. Maybe not.

On what you ask? Thats for me to know. But it was, to be completely honest, the worst experience of my life, and considering how much I've been through, that's really saying something.

I'll start from the beginning:

Here in Los Angeles there is this thing called L.A. Artwalk. Google it. In Downtown ,every gallery is open for anyone, there's tons of music and food trucks and it's all just groovy. My best friend S. is in a band, and her band was one of many selected to play at Artwalk. Super cool!

So i'm with all my friends, and we bring a handle of tequila and some vodka. Before we arrived at Artwalk, I had a bottle of wine to myself, so I was feeling pretty good.

My friends band sets up and starts to play and they did an amazing job. Now, right after they finished, I went around and found an ally to be by myself and to get high.

This is about the place where things get fuzzy. Now, as soon as the drugs hit my system I knew something was very, very wrong. I remember coming around the corner of the ally, looking at the sea of people walking around, and realizing just how bad I was. The best I can describe it: I remember remarking to myself that it was like a stop-motion picture. But that was only the beginning.

It's tough to remember everything, mainly because for some strange reason EVERYTHING about that night that I do remember, I remember backwards and I have no idea why. Meaning when I awoke I was told the first thing that happened to me was passing out by the stage, when I thought that was the last thing that happened. Weird.

From what I could gather, I had made my way from the ally to the stage and passed out. (All my friends were near the stage). I remember lying on the ground trying to get control of myself and not being able to, I remember flashes of light as people took pictures and thats about it. I also remember for about the span of 7 seconds, gaining enough control of myself to literally jump up to my feet, to the surprise and applause of the crowd that had gathered around me. Then my friends came to take me back and lay me down somewhere.

I remember being laid down and floating in and out of consciousness. I remember when I stopped breathing. I remember at that moment thinking - I really hope someone notices I've stopped breathing right now or I could die - as I could hear my friends voices around me. I remember my friends A., S., and W. trying to tell me that the cops were here and that we had to go, and I remember the helicopter's spotlight on me. Thats about it.

All of this was horribly embarassing, because not only did my friends have to take care of me, but because there was a ridiculous amount of people I kinda knew there, that saw the whole thing. In fact, 2 days ago, at my friend's band's music video shoot which I was in charge of, people came up to me and said this: OMG! I was at Artwalk, I'm so glad you're not dead!

Oh, and this is strange but I had a hard time watching the first few minutes of the movie Limitless cause it reminded me of what it was like to be lying there on the gound. If you wanna know what I was seeing while it was happening, aside from the stop-motion stuff which was how it seemed at the very beginning, it looked almost exactly like this:

There's more, but it's just the gross stuff and I definitely don't want to go into that. Needlessly to say, a few days later, I was sitting in my first NA meeting. 8 months clean today.