OK, who agrees with me?

Clement Wood published a guide to writing verse in 1936 (The Poet's Craft Book), and together with his rhyming dictionary, you may have it on your self as I do.

One thing in it has always amazed me, and caused me to question Mr. Wood's value as an arbiter of poetic taste, but I'd like to know your opinions!

In the section headed 'On Translating Poetry' he serves up a literal translation of the opening lines of the Bible vs. The King James' version. You can well imagine which he likes better! And he also used the amazingly sensual Persian poet Omar Kayyám (one of US!) to prove that Edward Fitzgerald's (Yes, another one of US!) translations are 'better' than an 'honest' rendition.

Here's his example of "what thousands hail as poetry:

I sometimes think that never blows so red

The Rose, as where some buried Caesar bled;

That every Hyacinth the Garden wears

Dropt in her Lap from some once lovely Head…

Heav'n but the Vision of fulfilled Desire,

And Hell the Shadow from a Soul on fire,

Cast on the darkness into which Ourselves,

So late emerged from, shall so soon expire.

Rubáiyát of Omar Kayyám, Edward Fitzgerald."

Here are the original Kayyám lines that inspired Fitzgerald, and which Clement Wood nailed as "certainly not poetry."

"Everywhere that there has been a rose or tulip-bed,

It has come from the redness of the blood of a king:

Every violet shoot that grows from the earth

Is a mole that was once on the cheek of a beauty.

Quartrains, Omar Kayyám"

And

"Hell is a spark from my useless worries,

Paradise a moment of time when I am tranquil.

Quartrains, Omar Kayyám"

So, there is your challenge – you tell me which version you think has the power and the confrontation that all the best verse should have. I know which one I'd rather read (sorry, Fitzy ole boy…)