So - I started trying to put some of this in today's News Blog, but it got to be too much info, so splitting off the more personal aspect which involves my birthday this past Saturday.

As I said there, birthdays are definitely a time for introspection. I'm now 48 - four full turns on the chinese zodiac (or 4/5ths of one if you count the elemental aspect too).

This past year has caused an inordinate amount of introspection - with so many changes, many at times overwhelming. I long for a quiet year, to get out of the cursed chinese "Interesting times". In 2013, I've gotten my lymphoma into remission, had a bone marrow transplant from my sister to try to prevent it from ever coming back, separated from my partner of almost eight years, had the kids go back to living with their mom (which I fully supported), and recently been struggling to get fit enough to go back to work.

Throughout this, my viewpoints have changed on many things. I used to hate my birthday. I'd call in sick (or schedule a vacation day) and hide, either at home or on a day trip. This year, I enjoyed it by treating myself to a great concert (saw OneRepublic and Sara Bareilles in Reno). I had splurged and gotten the VIP Meet and Greet package so got to briefly meet the band and get pictures with them.

OneRepublic's new album, Native, is fantastic - I haven't stopped listening to it since it came out in March. I love every song on it (but then again, they're one of my favorite bands because I haven't heard a single thing they've done that I haven't loved). I was really happy when as part of their setlist Saturday night, they played the song from the album that I love the most - I Lived.

I owned every second that this world could give,

I saw so many places,

The things that I did.

Yeah worth every broken bone

I swear I Lived

The song is a mantra to living it all, hoping that at the end of your life, you "did it all." Hearing this song on my birthday, after such an ... interesting year - really hits home how things can change, how you never know what's around the corner. Even before my birthday, things have been getting really better. Labor Day weekend, I went camping on the north coast with a new friend who had never seen California's redwoods. We spent six days traveling up and down the coast, just going to places without any real set agenda other than what we came up with on the fly. The scenery was incredible - the redwoods, the coastline, beaches, little shops and towns. We had a fantastic time just exploring, as well as really getting to know one another much better.

One limitation on my going back to work has been my stamina, and I had been worried prior to the camping trip that I wouldn't be able to do much. It turns out, that was able to do a lot over those six days and I'm still so thrilled with all the hiking, kayaking and activity I was able to do, without feeling exhausted at anytime and not needing a nap at all. It is too early to be sure, but right now, it looks like I'll be able to go back to work ahead of schedule.

So even after a trying time where things simply suck - It can also Get so much Better. You just have to be there and open to enjoy it. To close with another song lyric that has been going through my mind recently, as Another Day from the musical Rent puts it "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."