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10 Guys You'll Sleep With in College


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The Athlete

 

OK. You can stand the competitiveness to get next to those pecs and abs. It's not that he looks like a Greek god chiseled out of marble that turns you on about him. It's that dreamy look in his eye.

 

It takes you a while to figure out that when he gets that dreamy look, he's thinking of somebody else.

 

 

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Mr. Perfect

 

No. He's not a wrestler except in the sack. Mr. Perfect is everything you always wanted... except for the cheating and the clap.

 

 

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The Hipster

 

Like anyone that has ever fed a tom-cat, you gave him sex once and now you own him. Unlike the tom-cat, you can't drop him off at the pound.

 

 

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The Cute Dumb One

 

You can't help but fall in love with the cute dumb one. His vulnerability is so appealing. It takes dating him a while to figure out that he'll be a high maintenance life long project. Trade in on a red neck or a geek. At least they can fix your car/computer.

 

 

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The Buddy

 

It's inevitable. Everybody makes the mistake of sleeping with one of their buddies. Problem is that weirdness factor afterwards. So... do you want to play video games or blow me? You can see how this will get complicated.

 

 

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The Pretty, Pretty EMO Boy

 

This is a mistake of epic proportions. EMO boys are like crack: they are highly addictive and hard to get. They will only find you sexually attractive until you turn 20 and then you immediately become a sad old troll that they are embarrassed to be seen talking to. Sure the sex is amazing but the early troll-hood just ain't worth it.

 

 

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The Geek

 

OK- he's not very sexy or attractive but he'll love you like it is the first time- because for him, it probably is. Sure he tends to be socially awkward and might need coaching to shower and brush his teeth every day but dammit, he's reliable. He can either fix your computer or build you a new one that would make the NSA jealous.

 

 

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The Drunk

 

No. Just no.

 

 

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The Redneck Kid

 

Whether he is from Kansas or Louisiana or Texas, he's polite and has some old fashioned ways but you can always count on him to be true. He can fix your car and shoot burglars between the eyes. He's a keeper.

 

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The Horrible Mistake

 

There's no picture for this one. It's not about looks. It all personality and yours and his are like Siamese Fighting Fish. Sure the sex is great if you can manage to not kill each other. Go for it one last time and then GTFO before someone gets hurt.

  • Like 8

8 Comments


Recommended Comments

JamesSavik

Posted

This originally appeared back in 2011. Brought it back for laughs.

 

What can I say. I work hard for my readers. :P

  • Like 3
Irritable1

Posted

The geek's got a sharp tongue on him. Keep the buddy.

 

Edit: LOL, and the athlete went on getting injured at exactly the same rate after college. Every 6 months like clockwork. Must've gotten tiresome for whoever he was with, I wouldn't know  :rolleyes:

methodwriter85

Posted

Emo boys have largely disappeared as of late. They seem to have been replaced by hipsters.

Kitt

Posted

The funny thing is gay guy or straight gal, it all pretty much works the same.

  • Like 4
JamesSavik

Posted

The funny thing is gay guy or straight gal, it all pretty much works the same.

 

Ding, ding ding! We have a winner!

  • Like 1
Carlos Hazday

Posted

I'm thankful there were no EMO's back in my early trollhood days! Yuck!

 

I did have a couple of weed/metal heads around who were fun but I always had a ringing in my ears after riding around in their car.

Timothy M.

Posted

The funny thing is gay guy or straight gal, it all pretty much works the same.

 

oops, I'm glad I read this list after the one J just posted :)

Fishwings

Posted

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ LOL 

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