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Is This The End?


CarlHoliday

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I knew I was jeopardizing my creative abilities by increasing the amount of Depakote I take to stabilize my mental state and, happily, I am now stabilized and do not fear having a misstep leading to a fatal plunge into nothingness. Not being suicidal is much more important than writing.

 

But, that does little to assure me that there will ever be anything more coming out of the creative vault.

 

Remembering Tim has two final chapters to publish. I wrote an epilogue to finish the work because I knew I could never come up with fiction necessary to do more to the story.

 

The G.M.Os. has eight chapters to go. Plus, I’ve decided to append the five chapters I planned for the sequel since there definitely isn’t anything going on there either.

 

Hopefully, I will be able to at least come up with a short story now and then sometime in the future, but right now I don’t think that will happen. Last week I did try to write something new, but after a little over 1,700 words found I wrote myself into in a corner and couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. The words just don’t seem to want to go together in any logical manner.

 

So, once Remembering Tim and The G.M.Os. are finished I’ll be able to fully concentrate on reading the stories on GA, learning how to play the guitar, listening to music, and looking forward to training our new dog. After going through research on a number of other breeds, including speaking with people who have experience with them, we’ve decided to get another GSD, a female this time. The breeder has a number of litters coming up and my son will be putting down a deposit this week on a litter that will be ready in early May. I haven’t decided what I’m going to name her since, technically, she will be my dog. I'd like to be creative, but that is certainly out the window now.

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There's no need to think of it as "the end", but it can be "an end". The future could hold many different paths for you, and perhaps you'll even find something which works to stabilize your mental state but won't affect your creative abilities in the same way? For all we know, it could be just around the corner waiting for you. 

Or, of course, it might not be, in which case it may not be the end either. You may discover you're able to write from a different mental route than you took before. 

But learning to play the guitar and listening to music are also amazing choices for spending your artistic time, so I wouldn't want to detract from that, either. As long as you're pursuing an artistic pursuit, I believe you're simply on a different path, not at the end of one. :)

Anyway, I wish you well with all your pursuits. 

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