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Am I Worthless?


Emi GS

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Every time this question popped into my head, you people made think different and made me feel great. But once I go off of this alive space, reality hits me so hard. So hard that my heart will get squeeze to pulp and hurt me so much.

 

My parents never cared about what I want and they always never give a sh*t about me. And now even my things are became worthless to them. My cloth, my books... my all things became a unwanted stuff in their house.

 

My Ex. He even flirts with me even though I don't gave any importance to him. He never lose the chance to flirt and take money related help. All he cares about money. He is as selfish and he just care about what he gets in return. And he willingly hurt me and tells me that he will give importance to the other guy in his life. He alway do things for him and he would make to know about it all. He is just mean? Or he is saying I am not worth to him.

 

And for the I don't have any friends in my life right now, I was talking about not here but in the real world. Everyone left me for reasons. Am I that annoying?

 

I have every reason to say I am worthless. And have no hope to say I deserve better and the courage to ask more. My life and heart felt like EMPTY...

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  • Site Administrator

:hug:  You are not worthless, Emi.  You have become a very active part of GA and have lots of friends here.  I know that's small consolation when your life feels like it's falling apart, but know that you can take refuge here.  Your ex sounds like a narcissist.  I know what it's like to be around one - I was raised by one.  They suck out your self-worth and leave you feeling empty and worthless.  I hope you're not giving him any money...cut this jerk out of your life completely.  It's not worth it.  Hang in there...things will get better.  :hug:  

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*hugs* I don't think you could be worthless in real life. What your parents are doing is certainly painful, there is no question about it. But why do you care, what your ex thinks and does? He seems like a selfish person, you deserve better. And friends, who abandon you, when you need them, aren't really friends. Are you sure it is the reality? When yes, you need better friends, who appreciate you for being you.

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:hug:  You are not worthless, Emi.  You have become a very active part of GA and have lots of friends here.  I know that's small consolation when your life feels like it's falling apart, but know that you can take refuge here.  Your ex sounds like a narcissist.  I know what it's like to be around one - I was raised by one.  They suck out your self-worth and leave you feeling empty and worthless.  I hope you're not giving him any money...cut this jerk out of your life completely.  It's not worth it.  Hang in there...things will get better.  :hug:

 

It was hurting me a lot, Val. The people who I care, my family, my love and my friends, making me feel like this. Worthless and Empty. I just wanted this pain this hallow feeling to away.

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*hugs* I don't think you could be worthless in real life. What your parents are doing is certainly painful, there is no question about it. But why do you care, what your ex thinks and does? He seems like a selfish person, you deserve better. And friends, who abandon you, when you need them, aren't really friends. Are you sure it is the reality? When yes, you need better friends, who appreciate you for being you.

 

I always hope and wish for good friends. Always asked God for some care, some love. But nothing came to me. I cannot always be online to live, even though I was living reality here on GA. I hope I had a chance to live a better life.

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http://gitabitan-en.blogspot.in/2010/10/if-to-your-call-none-come-forth.html

 

The question is not how the world weighs you, but how you weigh yourself? What are you worth to yourself? Your parents may think you a waste of space, your ex may call you a money bag, your friends may think you are clingy and annoying, but does that define who you are to yourself? I hope not. 'Cause if it does then you are letting others define you. You are leaving yourself at others mercy. And the world is a pretty ruthless place. Stand tall. Hugs.

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You only have to look at your photographs to see the beauty and worth in your life. 

 

Your value isn't in how others see you, but in how you see you. It seems that you're hurting right now. I just wanted to know that I enjoy the pictures you post a lot, even if I don't leave a lot of comments.

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Let me ask you something.

 

Do you have love in your heart? Do you long to be loved and to give love?

 

If you can say yes to this then you are a treasure beyond price. One day, and I cannot say when or where, I believe you will find the miner of your priceless heart.

 

If you can only say no to the questions above...then I would say you are allowing yourself to be deceived. Humanity is programmed to want and to receive love. Those that use others do so out of fear. They are afraid to give for fear that will be taken away. They don't understand love.

 

Love cannot be be taken unless it is given and it cannot be given unless it is taken. It is a circuit...not a commodity that one can lose by giving it away or by having it stolen. It's always there. I only becomes more powerful when it connects  into a circuit.

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No you're not Emi. You are a sweet, gentle, and talented man .. so far from worthless there is not enough gold in the world to equal your worth. Remember what you said to me? That you're there for me.. well same goes for me.  xoxo

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Let me ask you something.

 

Do you have love in your heart? Do you long to be loved and to give love?

 

If you can say yes to this then you are a treasure beyond price. One day, and I cannot say when or where, I believe you will find the miner of your priceless heart.

 

If you can only say no to the questions above...then I would say you are allowing yourself to be deceived. Humanity is programmed to want and to receive love. Those that use others do so out of fear. They are afraid to give for fear that will be taken away. They don't understand love.

 

Love cannot be be taken unless it is given and it cannot be given unless it is taken. It is a circuit...not a commodity that one can lose by giving it away or by having it stolen. It's always there. I only becomes more powerful when it connects  into a circuit.

 

I have given my love for the simple care my Ex given. And now I am suffering for my own mistake. And I don't how to give answer to you question. But I can say I'll give all my love if someone truly loves me and care about me. I know I can't say if someone really loves me and care for me, but I'll try to be cautious this time rather than just falling for douche like my Ex.

 

And as for the family, I don't know what to do. I'll just love them even though they never give it back the way I wanted.

 

Thank you Mr.M :)

 

~Emi.

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As someone taking my first steps as a poet in my native language, I have great respect and admiration for you, Emi. You write wonderful verse and the fact that you manage to do so in a foreign language only increases your success.

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As someone taking my first steps as a poet in my native language, I have great respect and admiration for you, Emi. You write wonderful verse and the fact that you manage to do so in a foreign language only increases your success.

 

Thanks Northie. :) Its good to hear you like my poetry and admiring me for that. I need no more compliment than this. Thank you so much giving another factor for me to stand still and say 'I worth something'... :)

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