What is Thirdly?
C. Glutton for Trauma and Punishment
D. All of the Above
*drags hands down her face in exasperation*
So, every now and then, I either end up inheriting some kind of technological device from another person...or someone logs on to something while using one of my technological devices...
AND I END UP SEEING THEIR PRIVATE LIVES FLASHING BEFORE MY EYEBALLS
I understand why it's a running joke for everyone to say things like "clear my browsing history if I die" or "burn the black bag full of adult paraphernalia under the bed before my parents get to it, should both me and my partner die at the same time" it's a legitimate fear of complete and utter embarrassment. Sometimes you can share with close friends (and even online friends) some obscure private things and there is no shame in it. But, the moment a close family member comes into play...there is shame for life. For life.
And I understand that. It's like that horrible moment when you happen to catch your parents going at it...it doesn't matter how old you are, it's downright traumatic.
All of that aside, I live for secrets. If anyone tells me something they want to remain a secret, they just have to say the word and I will take those secrets to the grave. My cousins call me a "tomb of secrets," though it's usually in an angry tone because I didn't fill them in on those secrets.
I am also a snooping Pandora. I mean, ever since grade school, I was always used as a messenger of "note passing" between friends or two crushes...and it wasn't because they trusted me not to open those notes. It was because I read them and didn't divulge those contents to anyone else. My lips were sealed.
But, here's the thing. I don't purposely seek these things out. I'm not a thief in the night. I'm not a hacker.They just kind of cross my path. For example, when I was given an electronic device that still had all the pictures and videos in it or when an entire gallery is open and visible for anyone to see.
If it practically falls on my lap, I am not going to let it sit there with the lid on, I'm opening that box!
I am then both relieved and contrite. On the one hand, I am instantly informed about that person's personal life and whatever brought them joy/amusement/pain at that particular time. On the other hand, I have to play it off as if I'm still ignorant of that person's private life.
...and that's how I came across some disturbing things about a couple of people who were practically like siblings to me at one point. Had they trusted me like my real siblings (their parents) do and told me their versions of the matter, I wouldn't have opened Pandora's box and ended up traumatized for life.
I have issues. It's like I'm a glutton for punishment. The whole snooping thing is also in my DNA. What separates me from those two ancestors is the fact that I refuse to pass that information on for the whole family to spread about like wild fire.
I just internalize it, freak out, and write a blog about freaking out...
...because I'm taking what I saw to the grave with me.
If curiosity killed the cat, I can't even count how many times I've survived death.