Entry posted by Fae Briona
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I'm not really a writer - things pop into my heat now and then and demand to be written down, but not good otherwise; and at the moment there's too many competing emotions to make any coherent statement. So I'm going to do what I've done before, and use a selection of song lyrics to express my feelings on this -- both my birthday, today, and the 1-yr anniversary of the loss of my boy at the end of the week. Kind of traces my emotions from the beginning or our relationship, and the hesitancy he had for so long because he'd been hurt so bad, to grief, to (not quite yet) healing:
I can heal the pain
That you're feeling inside
Whenever you want me
You know that I will be
Waiting for the day
That you say you'll be mine
To make you say the things that you do
He must have really hurt you
To make those pretty eyes look so blue
Now you can't see my love is good
And that I'm not him
'Cause somebody left you black and blue
Yeah we all make promises we can't keep
And they're paper thin but cut so deep
Why won't you let me fill up your empty heart
As I put down the telephone and the world it carried on
All the memories of you come rushing back to me
All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye, goodbye
I don't want to fight the tide,
I don't want to swim forever,
When it's cold I'd like to die.
(Maybe not tonight)
From this world that's giving up on you
On you...
And when it all turns to dust
We'll watch the ashes light up and we'll rise
We'll rise
(And we'll be, And we'll be)
==================================
Not quite to the point of "being fine", but I know I'll get there - if only because my boy would want me to.
1) Heal the Pain, George Michael; 2) Empty Heart, Grace Potter; 3) For a Friend, The The Communards / Jimmy Somerville; 4) When It's Cold I'd Like to Die, Moby, 5) Delilah, Florence+The Machine, 6) We'll be Fine, Rebecca Ferguson
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