The end was coming faster than any of us wanted. 

My father knew he was dying and said as much in early March this year. He'd battled cancer over the last three years. 

I wonder if he'd opted for the surgery from the start whether he'd be with us now. He chose chemo and radiation and other options. I don't discuss this with my mother. She doesn't need me to bring it up. But, how he fought this disease was his own battle in the long run.

He died as he'd lived—on his own road. 

He taught us about living your own life. He taught us right from wrong. He taught us that we had to be able to look in the mirror and see a person we could be proud of. 

My father is why I am who I am.  I'm out and always have been since I figured out I was gay. He and my mom were the first people I told when I was about thirteen, I guess. Later, I told them about the lifestyle I live. Both of them have always accepted me and loved me.  For that I'm grateful every day.

At the end of May there will be a celebration of his life. It'll take place outdoors, a casual drop in for friends and family. A time to remember a wonderful man. 

There will always be hole in my heart, but in time it will fill with memories of him and that will make it easier to bear. 

My mother was a good partner for Dad and she misses him greatly. They'd been together over 50 years.  But she is as strong as he was and while it hurts, she is holding on and reaching out to her sons, family and friends. 

I'm no poet but my wonderful husband tells me this is okay... Well for better or worse, this is for you, Dad. 

When I was young, you were bigger than life

Father, a giant in my boyish eyes

Under gentle protection, love was rife

You taught me respect and to eschew lies

Acceptance of me, I never doubted

I wore my own skin, not someone else's guise

You gave me freedom, never rerouted

Meeting life in spite of what may arise

Dear Father you are from life departed

I will always recall your words most wise

Love, be kind and forever bighearted

For all of these will deliver the prize

Of a life lived well, few regrets and strife

Where no demons exist to exorcise

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Comments aren't necessary. Of course you will do as you wish and that's okay. Not sure when I'll feel up to replying so if it takes me awhile, I hope you'll forgive me.