One day, recently, I found I wasn't liking myself very much and i wasn't sleeping well. I was dull and uninterested in life, don't worry this isn't a suicide story. I was feeling very negative and angry and I didn't know why. I still don't really know why. But I decided i needed to do something ... i mean i take medications for various medical issues, including Major Depressive Disorder, but they don't seem to work for long. They do not make you happy. Not even a bit. 

So what does? How does it work?

I long to believe in things, like God and the supernatural, and spirits. I don't know if i do believe in them, i know i want to believe in something. I read somewhere once that 'God' is inside of us. Comes from what is within us. So I thought maybe looking inward might be a good idea. Maybe I just need to believe in me.

So, I went looking and decided to try meditation. Now, I hear you … I can't do that. My brain is too chatty, and I can't turn it off. Yeah blah, blah, blah. Fine, don't try anything new, just keep saying that over and over. Most people have internal thoughts we don't think we can control. You're not special. 

I want to find peace and some kind of meaning.  I looked and found there's an app for that. It is called Serenity.

That was nine days ago. I’ve meditated every single day since using the meditations on the app.

The first thing I noticed was how little pressure there is. Nothing about Serenity makes you feel like you’re doing it wrong. The structure is gentle and soft, and each session runs only 10 to 12 minutes, which is short enough to fit into any day without it feeling like it's a huge investment of your time.

I also appreciate that it explains why it’s asking you to do things. Each technique comes with its reasoning, and there’s some science behind what focusing on your breath can do for your body and mind. I’ve only learned a couple of techniques so far, but knowing the purpose behind them makes me want to keep going.

This has been my favourite part: when you’re learning to quiet your mind, it’s easy to treat your thoughts as the enemy. Serenity teaches the opposite: thinking isn’t something to fight, it’s something to look at with curiosity. Instead of “stop thinking,” it’s “what’s that thought, and where did it come from?” That small shift has made meditation feel far more doable.

Out of the nine sessions, i've done pretty well, but there were two days when trying to control my thoughts even a little was like wrestling greased pigs. But that's why it's called practice. Even those sessions that don't go well are worthwhile. Everyone's focus shifts, but we can tell ourselves we're thinking, and we should focus on breathing instead.

Of course with meditation comes gratitude and mindfulness. Gratitude surprised me. It’s harder than it sounds to come up with things to be grateful for on the spot. But I’m learning that it can be small. Some mornings, it’s just the apple I’m eating at breakfast, or the good night's sleep I had or rain.

I know that nine days isn’t long, and I won’t claim I'm transformed or feel entirely different. But I feel more present, and I feel less anxious. I have a little more patience and feel brighter within myself.  I'm not just saying i'll do something, I actually do it. That is a huge thing for me. 

If you’ve been curious about meditation but figured you’d be bad at it, Serenity is a kind place to start. You don’t need to empty your mind. You just need to show up. Like life, meditation, being grateful, mindfulness is a process ... a journey. 

So, the nitty-gritty details are that this is lead mediation, there is a fee, but the first week is free. They do send a reminder to cancel. But i decided i didn't care about the free week. I signed up for 6 months because I'm worth $30 and these 10 minutes per day are worthwhile investment in myself and my happiness.

That's what I chose for myself.  There are other ways and other apps and teachers if you find this is a path you'd like to take.

Whatever you do, thanks for reading.  Have a super day. 

Have you tried meditation? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you.