I'm not a Texas fan in the least, but I was rooting for Texas to beat OU

OK. Here's your joke and remember that you asked for it.

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A man wakes up on a Saturday morning and goes to the bathroom to relieve himself.

When he gets a look at his unit, he faints. Plop- right on the bathroom floor.

When he comes too and looks at his unit again, he discovers that much to his dismay, it's true. His unit is a bright, almost glow-in-the-dark hunter's orange color.

He goes to his usual doctor who has never seen anthing like it. He sends him to a specialist right away.

The specialist looks at the poor man's orange unit and asks, "Sir, have your sexual habits changed lately?"

The man says, "Naw, I just got a porn flick, a six pack and a large bag of cheetos like I usually do on a Friday night."

It's not my favorite, but I don't want to offend anyone.

Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.

Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Hear it goes, I hope you like it.

These two whales are swimming out at sea.

The first whale comes up and see's a ship coming toward them and realizes it a whaler.

The first whale says to the second whale, "There a whaler coming, but I know how we can get rid of them for good!"

The second whale say, "How?"

The first whale says, "When the boat gets here, you get on one side and I'll get on the other. We'll fill up with water and blow it into the boat, fill up with water and blow it into the boat. The boat will get full and sink. The word will get back to the out whalers that we sunk the boat and they will never come after us again."

The second whale says, "Good plan!"

So the whales do just that. They fill up with water and blow it into the boat, they fill up with water and blow it into the boat, the boat starts to swamp, guy's are jumping overboard clinging to what ever they can.

Then the first whale says to the second whale, "Now we have to eat the guy's. We eat the guy's the word will get back that we sunk the boat and ate the guy's, it will be so horrible that they will never come after us again."

The second whale looks at the first whale and says, "I don't mind blowing the boat, but I'm not swallowing the seamen."

That's it!

Good Luck

Rob

Sorry slaveboy, no silly joke from me ...

Just keep bouncing off the walls like your normal self and he will be laughing just because he likes who you are.

Snow Dog

P.S. yea you are the only one I am gonna respond to ... cya

SlaveBoy..I don't have a good funny joke either..but glad to see you are developing a conversational relationship with Cross Country Hottie....um, quick question...is your hottie str8 or Gay or can't tell....oh well, hot is hot..so good going:) and hey what was the joke that you told your HOTTIE? and I agree I find Laughter incredibly sexy:)

keep up the chats and the laughter:)

ok, here is a lawyer joke (yeah, I know you are all saying all lawyers are jokes.....often too much truth in that one:)

so, what is a 1000 lawyers found at the bottom of the ocean? Answer: a good start.

that's all folks!

Michael

Okay: first, I'm pretty cross country hottie is str8. I can usually tell when someone is gay, and he just seems very...straight. Secondly, I'm not the one that made him laugh, sadly. But I am talking to him on an almost daily basis now, which is exciting. I have yet to make him laugh, though. Finally, I am much more reserved around people who can actually see me...

What's meaner than a grizzley bear with the clap?

the lawyer that gave it to him

I like to stay away from lwyer jokes because there are a lot of lawyers out there. E.G., my mom, grandpa, and uncle are alllwayers, and two of my cousins are in law school right now. So I avoid those.

But don't worry, I take no offense to any of you who post lawyer jokes. They're pretty funny.

Slaveboy....

I am a Lawyer and figured the best defense is a good offense (and actually the joke is from the movie "Philadelphia" and Tom Hanks (playing a Gay attorney) tells it to Denzel Washington (his attorney, who is homophobic, but represents him in his wrongful termination case against his former law firm)

Its ok as an attorney to tell a lawyer joke..so I thought you would all find it amusing coming from a lawyer....

better I tell someone else's joke..I am lousy at telling jokes and either I screw up the punch line or the first part leading to the punch line..this one was easy to remember:)

I had a feeling Hot CC boy was str8..but was just checking......oh well, he can't help genetics and not all of us can be lucky enough to be born Gay..but it is always fun to admire the str8 hot boys (and to me Hotness takes many forms..like laughter, a smile, a sense of humor, kindness, a good listener...a great kisser..well, the list is endless)

in any event, I bet hot boy is oblious that he is hot..which also makes him very hot for being oblivious and very ooh la la:)

Michael

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

I like to stay away from lwyer jokes because there are a lot of lawyers out there. E.G., my mom, grandpa, and uncle are alllwayers, and two of my cousins are in law school right now. So I avoid those.

 

But don't worry, I take no offense to any of you who post lawyer jokes. They're pretty funny.

A friend was valedictorian of his law school class. I didn't get to hear his speech, but his wife told me about it. She was so proud of him. She said he told lots of lawyer jokes. I wish I could have been there.