Well this sounds complicated.

There's nothing worse than when two people are looking for two completely different things. It sounds to me like Aaron wants something light, casual, fun, and sexual that will physically and emotionally get him away from Jeremy, and personally I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It sounds like you want something serious, intimate, slower, and more meaningful, obviously there's nothing wrong with that either.

However, it does look as though you're both looking in the wrong place. If I were you I'd evaluate whether or not you're able AND WANTING to give him what he's after. If you're not, then perhaps he'll adjust to what you want, or maybe you guys can meet in the middle, but my advice would be to not build up very much hopes or emotional investment in this. Certainly not until you do work out an effective dynamic.

Regarding the specific sex/top oriented/friction/rubbing/whatever, well the key to good sex is always more about communication, knowing what you are and aren't comfortable with, and being willing to try new things when you are comfortable. I'm sure you could work out a very satisfying sexual arrangement with him. The big question is whether you SHOULD and whether you WANT to?

Just my take on it,

Good luck and take care!

Kevin

Thanks, Kevin... I know what I want out of life but kinda don't expect to actually get that, or at least not any time soon. In the meantime I don't mind being a bounce-back-boy for a guy who needs it. He receives his comfort, I receive the pleasure of his company... it may not be ideal but ideal died last november. I don't expect this to really get to be anymore than it is. We might become closer friends, but i don't think we're especially compatible as life-partners. At least thats how I feel about the situation. I'm pretty sure Aaron, while thoroughly annoyed with Jeremy, is not fully "over" him. For Aaron, meeting a new guy (me) and spending time with that new guy (me) is something he needs now as a way of getting away from and out of his present defunt relationship. In time the need for a relationship as an alternative to his past one will wane and he'll be able to evaluate whether a relationship with me long term is what he wants.... and if as I suspect we're not especially compatible as partners I do think he and I will continue to be friends. If not then its not a huge loss, I'll have still had the pleasure of his company for a while.

It's never good to be someone's bounce-back boy. Even if the sex is good in the short-term you're gonna be emotionally wounded in the long-term cause you want more than just sex.

Been there, done that. It's a real bummer, Ash.

I won't tell you not to pursue this relationship cause that's up to you to decide. If you do pursue it please be sure you keep assessing the situation as dispassionately as possible.

I doubt I'll be getting wounded by Aaron any time soon... rather I'm deliberately not getting that attached for as long as I have reason to believe he's less interested in me for me and more for what I represent as an alternative to what he has.