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I just want to leave.



I want to thank you guys for your words. I havent told anybody yet. He never called and I don't expect that he will. I am numb right now. Last night I went through the motions but today I'm just drained. I couldn't even tell my friends I feel like a fool in front of them.


I don't know what to do I'm restless. Things are definitely going to change and I don't know if I want to stay in this house. I am going to go away for a couple of days. I need to get away from everything that is my life. I really should be telling my friends but I can't face them after I asked them to give me some space for a week. I'd feel guilty after doing that.


So I want to thank you guys once again for your words. I'm going to be away for the next few days. I might check up if I find somewhere to plug in my lap top. See ya in a few guys




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Green, if I were one of your friends (well, I hope I am, but you know what I mean), I wouldn't want you to feel guilty, I'd want you to call, so I could be there for you.


Kitty :)

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As sad as it is, a lot of us have been there.


When it happened to me, I took a few days off to collect myself.


A couple of friends took me under their wing and helped to drag me out from under the funk that I was in.


Try not to isolate yourself, that's what friends are for.




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As you can see, your friends here want to hear from you and be there for you....we all are worried and send our hugs and feel frustrated that we can't do more. As Kitty said, If I were a friend (the in person kind you see and know very well) I would be worried if I didn't hear from you in a few days. I would also want to be there for you. So, screw the I needed space to be with Julio..that was before he left you......Life went upside and inside out and warped speed underside in an email post it...I am sure if your friends knew what happened they would want to be with you and to hold you, let you cry, take good care of you and help you grieve and scream and do whatever you need to do to get by as this unfolds. So, screw the you needed space stuff....reach out to them...friends are there in good times and in horrible times and you need them badly now...so, go to them, and have them take care of you...The Green we know would be doing that for them!


Please reach out to them and let them be the friends that you know and love and be there for you!


Hugs and Good thoughts, Good Karma and more Hugs sent your way and of course, keep expressing yourselv so you can let out the feelings.....


Grab a teddy bear to snuggle with so you can feel Teddy Bear Love and cry your tears...works for me...


Hugs again...I don't know what else to say...except we are hear for you and here for you.



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So he is my two cents


'It hard being apart of a world that acts like nothing has change when everything so clearly has. Grief makes you feel alone, yet you do still have a place in this world and others who care for you. There is still beauty and meaning in life, and you can find it again. For now, it is enough to grieve and rest. The world shall wait.


We will be here when you

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For what it's worth, if you and Julio had really bonded, he's likely feeling at least as bad as you are. Consider also that you're going to leave for a few days; he fled all the way back to Spain. The pain driving that must be substantial. I don't say this to elicit schadenfreude; but maybe examining the other point of view will help you step outside your own pain for a moment.


One other thing to note -- read into it what you will -- over the 5 pages of your blog up to this entry, the word "Julio" occurs 17 times. The word "Chaz" occurs 78 times.

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