Alright so I haven’t blogged since November and I’ve really been meaning to, I just haven’t found the time. I’m going to end up rambling on and on here so feel free to skip it all

I’ll start with all the things that have been causing me to be overly stressed lately. Which in all honesty is a lot of crap and I’m probably on the verge of having an anxiety attack, but f**k it. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger I guess.

School has been alright, nothing major, but we’re nearing finals again and all of these projects and presentations are coming up that I haven’t started on. Yeah I know, I procrastinated so it’s my own damn fault, but who the hell does a project right away when they have 10 weeks to do it? I’ve got 2 papers to write, and a presentation tomorrow morning that I’m not prepared to give, so I could be shooting myself in the foot, but other than that my classes have been pretty easy and I’ve been making good grades.

Work is killing me. I have a lot more of an open availability than most of the people I work with so I get shafted with all the shitty split shifts. Like tomorrow, I’m working 11 to 2 and 5 to 9. While I like getting 7 hours in one work day, it sucks that I have a three hour gap in there. It’s not enough time to really do anything, and it takes up both my morning and night so it’s killing my social life. I don’t have time to hang out with basically anyone anymore and it’s really getting irritating for me. Other than my schedule, I got a promotion at work. Yeah exciting right? Not really. They just gave me a shitload more to do, and then took over a month to give me a raise. And what was my raise? A whopping $0.50. Hell yes! I can splurge on shit now! I don’t blame my manager too much because I love her to death, but I blame the company for being a bunch of overbearing assholes that force them to lower their labor to ridiculous standards and screw the rest of us over. The only good thing they’ve done recently is get rid of one of the creepy managers that hit on any girl that moved, jailbait or not. It was disturbing.

Let me just apologize to Mark Arbour for not getting his website done yet. I should have had it done by now and I even had a timeline that I was going to follow to assure it was done by a certain date. Well I failed that. I started it, but haven’t had a chance to work on it. I spent all day Friday in bed. Gave up 8 hours worth of shifts and went home because I was sick. Fever, vomiting, aching muscles, headache, the whole shot. I looked like hell but felt so much worse. Saturday I was feeling better so Michelle and I took a trip (more on that later) and I thought I was better. I just had a sore throat and stuffy head. I went in to work this morning and couldn’t make it longer than 2 hours without leaving. The fever came back and I was getting dizzy so I just came home to work on some of my projects and take a nap. I’ve been sick on and off lately and it’s taking its toll on me now. Granted, I haven’t gone to the doctor for anything so I guess that’s my own fault. Nothing really gets kicked out of my system, the symptoms just fade. Anyways…

On to the juicy stuff I guess. I know a few of you have caught word or guys I was talking to now and then, but never really got the full story. Well, none of the guys I’ve talked to are really worth mentioning. They either tend to just stop talking to me, or we mutually decide to stop talking and it never goes anywhere. It’s starting to suck since it’s been a while that I’ve been single and I absolutely hate not having someone to cuddle with, but it’s not like I’m not trying. I just get stuck with a bunch of shitty guys. I would blame that on me usually, but recent events make me think that maybe I wasn’t such a bad boyfriend after all.

Mason and I started talking a few weeks ago. Just random stuff usually. Asking how each other’s day went and what was going on in our lives, nothing major. We even took it a step further and went to a movie once. I took it all as a good sign. We were really trying to be friends and weren’t letting our past f**k it up too much. Well that changed about an hour ago. He told me he still cares about me and can’t talk to me anymore until he’s completely over me. Well f**k. There goes all the effort we put into it. It’s not that I blame him, because I still have feelings for him, but I’m just annoyed that he keeps doing this. He’ll cut all contact with me for a couple days, and then start talking to me again like he didn’t just say he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Make up your damn mind! I’m sick of people playing f**king mind games with me lately. As if my head’s not f**ked up enough as it is, these people just try and screw with me even more. Honestly, it’s his decision whether or not he wants to talk to me. I told him I wasn’t completely over him, so the ball is in his court. He knows that I haven’t been with anyone new since we broke up and that I’ve been an emotional wreck and lonely as hell. If he still wants to ignore me and pretend like I don’t exist, then by all means, delete my f**king number and stop texting me then so I can move on with my life.

But do my ex problems stop there? Of course not. Now I have the psychotic ex before Mason talking to me again. I haven’t talked to him in almost a year and a half probably and he randomly sends me a text asking me out on a date now that I’m single. CJ’s the one that said he was in love with me after only a few days and wanted me to move in after a couple weeks. He was extremely paranoid about where I was and always needed to be near me when I wasn’t at work. He really was insane so I broke up with him and never looked back. Unlike with Mason, I don’t still have feelings for him. So now he’s been harassing me and blowing up my phone begging me to see him. He even offered to come to my work before I had to go in just so he could bring me breakfast. Normally, I would find that incredibly sweet, but not from someone who I know I don’t like. I haven’t told him to f**k off yet, but like I’ve told Viv, I’m just not the type of person that can let someone down hard like that. I have to do it easy otherwise I feel like a complete ass. Either way they usually think I’m an ass, but at least I feel better about myself when I do it my way.

I could go on bitching about boys, but then so can just about everyone so I’ll move on…

Michelle and I went to Huntsville to visit her lover in prison. That was kinda fun. The drive wasn’t too bad. Only about two and a half hours. Jimmy’s cool. He seems like a good kid, so I approve of him Michelle. Before we could get in to see him I got pat searched by a huge old guy. Let’s just say he knows damn well I wasn’t hiding anything. His hands follow my body all over and way up the legs. It was the most action I’ve gotten in a while so I won’t complain too much, but damn he must have liked me. After prison, we took a stop down in Houston since it was only another hour or so south. We just walked around for a while, went to a bookstore, and then hit up a Freebirds and Jamba Juice. We were going to meet up with Kevin (AfriendlyFace) that night, but we had to get back home and it was a 3.5-4 hour drive so we left a little earlier than expected and didn’t get the chance. It was fun though so we’re planning on going back. Then Kevin can show us around and we can hang out with him!

Well, safe to say that I’ve spoken more than my fair share tonight and I’ve still got that presentation and shit to do so I’ll leave you all to your own devices. No more reading about my drama for now

Joe

Who can’t wait for all this shit to be over.

P.S. Greg told me to add this:

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images0...1982b26a02c.jpg