Well... things are on the up and up with me and Matt. We've talked about what happened and why it did, and while he knows i'm still disapointed in him and the situation, we're taking steps to prevent it from happening.

My friend and I also talked about what happened and while he says he's sorry, he knows that im dispointed in him, then Monday happens.

Monday I invite matt over and let him in while I get ready for us to go out. We start watching TV and my mom calls me on my cell and tells me to come outside with a book for her. I do and she starts yelling at me to get *him* out of there, that she doesn't what *his type* of people in her house. That if I want him to come over, then she's gonna leave, and a whole slew of shit. I just look at her and my rage is growing BIG time, but I keep it under control.

She leaves saying that he better be out, that she's gonna come by with my dad and check soon because she called him. I head inside and grab some essentials, like clothes, wallet, etc and head out with Matt, leaving my house key on the table. A few minutes after we leave, my dad calls me asking why I left my key home and I told him that as long as my boyfriend isn't welcome, then i'm not as well. He says that I should come back and talk about it and I told him no, that I'm tired of talking and not getting anything resolved, but that friday we're gonna have a family counseling session with my psychologist and go from there.

Yesterday they show up at my job and say they wanna talk (my mom dad and sister) and I go okay and let them in. The conversation starts out nice and friendly, how they want me home, they miss me, and such and then I said I'll come home for now provided mom appologises to me for insulting my boyfriend, which then starts an argument between me and mom, and it escalates into a shouting match until I tell her to leave now. Dad tells mom to go into the car and turns to me saying to call him and such, that if I wanna talk with just him, he's okay with that. My sister gives me a hug saying that she's on my side and that she's been arguing with my mom the entire time i've been gone.

Now it comes to today. I put an application in for a job at different places and also began the process to request assistance from the governemnt for housing, disability and the like. Though to do this I need my ss card, birth certificate and the like. So I go home thinking that my sister is home when BAM, my mom's home. I knock on the door and tell mom that I need to grab some stuff from my room to which she replies that i'm only allowed to my room and the bathroom (to grab my razor and toothbrush). I go to my room where she's watching me like a hawk and I activate a little program on my computer to back everything up to an encrypted external drive, and to erase everything on my computer (local drives, etc) and lock it with a password that only I know so that it's useless for them (tech geek is what I am). I grab my stuff and head out, with mom watching over me the entire time, hands on her hips and shooting me nasty looks.

I left and headed back to my friends house where I'm staying for now, away from my parents and the drama.

Oh, I just got an email from my mom saying how disapointed she is in me for doing this, that i'm being selfish and not thinking of others. Guess I am selfish for wanting to finally be happy, and if it takes being out on my own, then I'm gonna be selfish like that.

Eri