Interesting in about four days, I will receive my Master's degree at the age of 21. I worked hard to get it, but I don't feel any sense of accomplishment. There was nothing in my studies that surprised me or challenged me enough to above and beyond. Perhaps, the truth is my desire for a challenge was never met in my educational choice.

Friends, I have made plenty over the years, but I have no defining moment in my college life as it comes to a close. I prevented a flood in the library, argued for change and reforming of the Republican Party, and just was myself. A bit quirky, a bit confrontational, and a bit non-comformist ideologue that seeks to understand everything.

You know I realize why I like the TV Show House M.D now. Other than the psychotic break that Gregory House had in the season finale; we are very much a like in our desire to seek the answers to life. I look at in the grand scheme of things, while House just seeks medical puzzles. Perhaps, why I don't feel joy is that there was no puzzle for me to solve or understand.

Education in my case is training without the challenge.

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As for the Bankruptcy, My mother had to declare it after the recent economic downturn forced most of her businesses to operate a significant losses. She is the model of the American Dream, college educated manager turned entrepreneur.

With the loss of her interests, I basically have lost my inheritance from her. I am fine with that. She left my father, when I was 12 and married rich. The middle class life style was not her favorite choice, so she took her young looking appearance and beauty to pursue a wealthy man. She divorced him and got another wealthier husband, ending with number 3 right now, who had significant interests in real estate and restaurants.

I had flat out told her I wanted nothing to do with her money when I was a kid and did not go live with her out of loyalty to my father, but her bankruptcy is creating a strange feeling in me. It's ironic, I don't care for her money, but I feel strange at knowing its gone.

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Life is strange mixture of fighting and realization. It's a complicated mess of emotional truths and the occasional silver lining. I don't know where to go next, but I feel like reaching out and moving beyond my current position. I want to journey and seek the answer of life: Why are here? What do I want? Who am I?

It's an emotional and personal journey; I wish that I had companion to share it with, but if I am alone, then so be it. It is a question that must be sought.