I had many friends (more acquaintances) named Martin and Peter. And because I met them at university, I distinguished them by their "major" - Martin journalist, sportsman, etc. No one had any problem with that.

Well, some people are just plain stupid.

I smoke alot of weed. That would make me a stoner. If somebody is talking about me, I'm sure the term "stoner" comes up. It signifies that I smoke weed more than the regular person. I don't think it is derogatory actually. I don't think tweaker is either, people that bomb meth, its just a term. Coke-Head, etc. I think alcoholic is different to some people. But I guess to each their own.

However, you are kind of putting an image of your friend out for others if they have not met him. Smoking bud isn't as cool to some as it is to others and they might judge him, so you could be doing a diservice, unless you know you hang out with people chill with smoking mother earth.

I'd say just refer to him as Steve, the good guy you know. The weed thing is just a characteristic of his personality and if anybody asks, yeah, he is a stoner.

But I really relate to what you're talking about. I have friends I'd want to do certain drugs with for instance, as opposed to others. There are some people I'd go to lunch with, but never to dinner or anything past the hour of 6 o'clock. The list goes on. So you're not alone in that.

When you have so many friends with the same name, You seriously have to separate them somehow.

And I agree with Chase......

I(ve) smoke(d) a lot of weed too, On and off for my whole life. But I can't say I would care to be referred to as "tim the stoner" unless in the company of people I was for sure weren't offended by our choice of green herbs we harvest from the ground and use in any way we see fit.

Now, If they were jocks, You wouldn't have to worry about it, Because then the only time you know someone's first name is if 2 of them have the same last name LOL

And definitely talk to Steve about it. He probably has an opinion, And as a(n) (ex)stoner, I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with it, He will probably find it at least mildly amusing

I think people need to get over themselves most days and stop trying to push people to adhear to their own sensibilities.

Maybe I am crass, or whatever but I don't judge people from hearsay I like to meet them for myself before attempt to "categorize" them in anyway.

I think any time you try to toe the political correctness line, you're going to cross someone else. Its a losing proposition especially when you're not even hitting a hot button like race, sexual orientation or gender. You can refer to your friend any way you want, as long as you aren't doing it to disparage that friend.

Aside from that, you can't help what people think, and what other people think shouldn't matter anyway. Especially since making a second hand judgment based on someone's affectionate nickname is a pretty lame thing to do in any case.

I always thought calling someone a "stoner" was a term of endearment. I think I'll hit the bong and contemplate that.

It was meant as a term of endearment as well.

Well then, you pretty much answered your question. And Jeremy, you need to remember that when you're dealing with older guys and talking about shit like this, they may not be tuned into your world. Your world is a lot different than the '60s or '70s.

Mark, the comment I got about it being demeaning was from a guy who's your age. If I remember correctly from reading On the Mark, the 1970's and the 1980's weren't THAT different in terms of how teenagers of the time viewed recreational drug use.

Yeah, it was. Now, it's not a big deal. Back then, it kind of was.

It is more demeaning to you that you think of your friends in that way. I don't approve of drugs, but I have friends wo do smoke weed. I avoid them when they do it. I don't need or want that in my life. I do drink myself, but not often. I don't mind if people drink, but I avoid drunks.

People have last names and they have personalities other than being a stoner. Do you. I am not trying to condemn your life or your actions, but there is more to life that getting stoned. Why not find a Steve who likes to surfboard and go to movies. Steve who writes novels and acts in plays. Steve who does something with his life that he likes instead of finding Steve who likes to get stoned and lay around and do nothting interesting or useful except critique the music or wallpaper. You sound much more interesting than this. Take care.

Louisiana Writer

Well that was simply ridiculous.

You tell it, Mark.

Steve's got a lot going for him- he's smart as hell, he's on the Dean's List, and he's an R.A. who's planning on going to Montclair for grad school. He has a bright future and he's a loyal. It's just stoner is the most glaring, obvious aspect of him.

As for me, I dabble a bit in pot, but not really big on it. My mother found my bowl, so I've got to be really D.L. about it.