At what age did you figure out your sexuality?

[rknapp]

Without disrupting the original thread topic (I seem to be doing that a lot lately), I should clarify something. If it turns out that I'm gay, I really don't care. In fact I already know that I'll be infinitesimally happier just because I'll have that one huge question off my shoulders. The problem is getting other people to understand why and to not hate me. Of my two best friends, one has already drifted away because of her boyfriend/fiance and the other has gotten a lot closer to me since his girlfriend broke up with him. Both of them are homophobic, the latter being a lot more so.

 

I'm also pretty sure that my friends here at school have figured it out. You don't go to GSA religiously every Wednesday night, and forget to go to the Residents' Association (of which my roommates and friends all run) almost every Thursday evening and not have them wonder. I'm guessing that my family would be okay too since my sister is hardcore pro-gay-rights, even though she thinks it's ironic that I have every season of QAF and also thinks I joined the GSA just for the hell of it... and my mom has stated that she loves me no matter what and just doesn't want me to be alone -- she doesn't care about grand children. My dad hasn't said anything in that regard but I know he cares.

[AFriendlyFace]

"Well I'll be damned, they have a word for it!"

Thought you invented it, did you?

 

Without disrupting the original thread topic (I seem to be doing that a lot lately),

It's okay, Robbie. In fact I'll give you a standing invitation to hi-jack the threads I create...as long as you talk about something fairly important anyway

 

I should clarify something. If it turns out that I'm gay, I really don't care. In fact I already know that I'll be infinitesimally happier just because I'll have that one huge question off my shoulders.

May I be frank? (don't worry I'll turn back into Kevin by the end of the post )

 

I've listened to you question your sexuality for going on three years now, and for the majority of that time I've been desperately hoping for you to work it out and get on with your life. At this point though I honestly don't care if you figure it out or not.

 

And no, not because I've gotten fed up with it, or because I don't care in general. But because you have gotten on with your life!

 

You're socializing with all sorts of new people, you're making new friends, you're flirting and having fun, hell you're even seriously considering messing around with your friends -nvm my actual opinion of that, that's irrelevant - the point is you're no longer letting your sexuality, or your lack of knowledge/acceptance about it hold you back! At this point I would like to believe sincerely believe that if the right person came along you would do something about it! Regardless of all the complications that might go along with it.

 

You've come a very long way, Robbie, and I'm extremely proud of you and happy for you! I honestly don't care if you ever give yourself a label or not. Just as long as you're happy and you don't let your fears hold you back. Whether you ever sit down and decide "I'm gay" just doesn't matter that much.

 

The problem is getting other people to understand why and to not hate me. Of my two best friends, one has already drifted away because of her boyfriend/fiance and the other has gotten a lot closer to me since his girlfriend broke up with him. Both of them are homophobic, the latter being a lot more so.

Dude, it's tough but sometimes you have to say goodbye. At this point, even if you suddenly had an epiphany and decided that you were completely straight, would you really want to have a close friendship with these homophobes? After all the GLBT people you've met? After all the things you've seen and done? Do you really want someone who hates them - even if they don't hate you - to be a major part of your life?

 

Are you really even closer in the first place with these people than you are with your lesbian friends? with T, R, and C? With the rest of the GSA? With your accepting roommates and their girlfriends? From what I've been hearing it sounds to me like these other people are more important in your life right now. Whereas these other two homophobic friends are just...old habits.

 

I'm also pretty sure that my friends here at school have figured it out. You don't go to GSA religiously every Wednesday night, and forget to go to the Residents' Association (of which my roommates and friends all run) almost every Thursday evening and not have them wonder. I'm guessing that my family would be okay too since my sister is hardcore pro-gay-rights, even though she thinks it's ironic that I have every season of QAF and also thinks I joined the GSA just for the hell of it... and my mom has stated that she loves me no matter what and just doesn't want me to be alone -- she doesn't care about grand children. My dad hasn't said anything in that regard but I know he cares.

No offense, dude, but I'm pretty sure not only have they, but so has the GSA, your sister, and both your parents.

 

A little detour about grandkids. I think almost every good parent wants grandkids, at least a little. But I also think that more than they'd like to see grandkids someday, they want their kids to be happy.

 

Some day I am going to be a parent, no ifs ands or buts about it, and I want a lot of things for my child not least of which is children of their own. However, as a parent the only thing I need for my son(s) or daughter(s) to have is a general sense of being happy, safe, and loved. Beyond that none of the other things really matter. I also want my child to know this and to flat out make decisions that are the best for him/her and not for me.

 

Anyway, being gay really has nothing to with having kids. If you want kids strongly enough you'll have them one way or another, and if you don't want them that strongly...then you probably shouldn't have them in the first place.

 

Take care, my friend

Frank

Kevin

Edited March 8, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Tiger]

Kevin, you are definitely right about labels. I don't let anyone else define me. I am me, and people can think what they want. I have explained my sexuality the best I can. What is the appropriate label? There isn't one. That is the conclusion I have made. If people don't like it, I really don't care. The important thing is what I think of myself. If others can't accept me for who I am, they have problems. I have struggled with the labels for some time now, so I understand where Robbie is coming from.

[rknapp]

Damnit Frank, I wanted to stop thread-jacking, but your nurturing it!

 

When you're close friends with someone for damn near 12 years, it's hard to let go. He was one of the first neighborhood boys to talk to me and make friends with me when I first moved to Jersey from Florida. He and I share hobbies (cars, computers, snowboarding) and always have something do do together. I will say this though, ever since he started dating that whore, I've been getting more and more sick of him. He's weak, even though he's in the Navy, and bowed to her wishes every second of every day and with every penny he ever earned. She broke up with him because he wasn't paying her enough attention. I was proud of him for calling her a bitch, but he still has feelings for her, which is really sad. Given all that, I still can't just drop him like a bad habit, even though his morals are 100% driven by his Roman Catholic upbringing.

 

Supplement that with the fact that, after this coming May, I won't see those other people anymore. I'll see a couple of the them a few times over the summer since we have a class together then, but the rest will pretty much disappear. Two of the gay ones are going to CA, who knows about the other. My time will be spent in North/Central NJ.

 

Frank/Kevin (Frevin?) you can PM your thoughts about the "other things" I'm willing to do with those friends since I do have a very good reason for doing them with them, and not someone who isn't a close friend.

[Drewbie]

I would say around 13 or so, I realized Id rather look at a guy then a girl, but I thought I was bi, Later on at the age of 18 that I just like guys.

 

But Like Keviners and others has said, gay doesn't define me, I will bring it up and give my pov sicne I might see things differently, if that makes sense.

Edited March 8, 2008 by Drewbie

[Umbathri]

Well I was 11 when I realized I wasn

[Jack Frost]

5 is the farthest back I could remember being *gay*.

14 is when I started to get off on gay porn.

15 is when I realized the possiblity when I had a little crush.

17 is when I accepted it for good

[Tiger]

Jack, you are so lucky. I don't think I knew what the word gay meant when I was 5. As for porn, I started with straight at around 13. Anyway, I don't even think I really looked at gay porn until I reached adulthood. I was deeply in denial for a long time.

[BeaStKid]

Jack, you are so lucky. I don't think I knew what the word gay meant when I was 5. As for porn, I started with straight at around 13. Anyway, I don't even think I really looked at gay porn until I reached adulthood. I was deeply in denial for a long time.

I started with gay porn when I was 12. I kinda got 'bored' with straight porn, and wanted to explore...(that's the reason I gave myself at that time!!)

 

Have been hooked ever since!!

[Jack Frost]

Jack, you are so lucky. I don't think I knew what the word gay meant when I was 5. As for porn, I started with straight at around 13. Anyway, I don't even think I really looked at gay porn until I reached adulthood. I was deeply in denial for a long time.

Memory...memory...of right now. I can recall things that are *gay* before I realized it.

 

 

Though my boyfriend knew what it meant at five. He knew all the long. :s

[Tarin]

Oh boy. Well, me...I guess I should have voted the 10-13, but I voted 14-17.

 

When I was 8 I had a crush on

[Tom]

Jack, you are so lucky. I don't think I knew what the word gay meant when I was 5. As for porn, I started with straight at around 13. Anyway, I don't even think I really looked at gay porn until I reached adulthood. I was deeply in denial for a long time.

 

sorry, but since I couldn't get myself to believe I liked guys too...well, maybe just like guys(I seem to be working my way toward just guys ...till I was 32, it just struck me as funny that you say you were deeply in denial...On the other hand, you only dig a well as deep as the water table

 

At least we both found our own truth

 

Hugs,

Tom

[S.L. Lewis]

Jack, you are so lucky. I don't think I knew what the word gay meant when I was 5. As for porn, I started with straight at around 13. Anyway, I don't even think I really looked at gay porn until I reached adulthood. I was deeply in denial for a long time.

 

 

And now that you're out, you're loving every moment of it. I'm happy that you're out to, tiger.

Anyways, like others have said, I don't like titles either. I prefer, opened minded to the possibilities. Though I think I'm ruined for guys due to my last boyfriend.

May you rest in peace, Alex. November 26, 2006.

 

[Tiger]

And now that you're out, you're loving every moment of it. I'm happy that you're out to, tiger.

Anyways, like others have said, I don't like titles either. I prefer, opened minded to the possibilities. Though I think I'm ruined for guys due to my last boyfriend.

May you rest in peace, Alex. November 26, 2006.

Well, I just hope you find the right person, Rose. Whether man or woman, the one is the other half of your soul. I hope never never give up on finding her (or him).

[FrenchCanadian]

I started with gay porn when I was 12. I kinda got 'bored' with straight porn, and wanted to explore...(that's the reason I gave myself at that time!!)

 

Have been hooked ever since!!

 

ah! to be totally honest, the first time that I've looked at porn on the computer was for gay porn. The times that I've seen straight porn, well I was more occupied at eyeing the nice naked guy than the naked girl,

[Tiger]

ah! to be totally honest, the first time that I've looked at porn on the computer was for gay porn. The times that I've seen straight porn, well I was more occupied at eyeing the nice naked guy than the naked girl,

I actually started with straight porn and lesbian porn (which does nothing for me). Anyway, I defnitely prefer gay porn and concentrate more on the men in straight porn.

[ashessnow]

I cant nail down my exact age, but it was sometime between 6-8. I knew the word because my mom told me about her sister who's a lesbian and what that meant and I realized that, yeah, I was gay too. I definately remember being in the shower and thinking that I was too young to believe I was gay.

[AFriendlyFace]

I cant nail down my exact age, but it was sometime between 6-8. I knew the word because my mom told me about her sister who's a lesbian and what that meant and I realized that, yeah, I was gay too. I definately remember being in the shower and thinking that I was too young to believe I was gay.

Awww

 

Well at least you didn't think you were a lesbian.

[S.L. Lewis]

Well, I just hope you find the right person, Rose. Whether man or woman, the one is the other half of your soul. I hope never never give up on finding her (or him).

 

 

Thanks dear. I hope so to. But for now, I'm happy just relaxing and what not.

[Tiger]

Thanks dear. I hope so to. But for now, I'm happy just relaxing and what not.

They say it happens when you're not looking.

[BeaStKid]

They say it happens when you're not looking.

Dang! Then I should definitely stop!

[AFriendlyFace]

They say it happens when you're not looking.

 

 

Dang! Then I should definitely stop!

 

 

They do say that, but then they also say that you need to get out there and mingle and give it a shot. Half the time people are likely to be telling you to forget about it and let it happen the other half they're likely to be telling you to quit sitting around complaining and go meet people.

 

I think what it all really comes down to is being social and open to the idea of being in a relationship without being desperate and trying too hard or taking the first thing that comes along.

 

Ya gotta walk the line, lol

 

I'm sure you'll make it though

 

-Kevin

[BeaStKid]

They do say that, but then they also say that you need to get out there and mingle and give it a shot. Half the time people are likely to be telling you to forget about it and let it happen the other half they're likely to be telling you to quit sitting around complaining and go meet people.

 

I think what it all really comes down to is being social and open to the idea of being in a relationship without being desperate and trying too hard or taking the first thing that comes along.

 

Ya gotta walk the line, lol

 

I'm sure you'll make it though

 

-Kevin

Thanks Kevin... your advice never fails to make an impact on me.