[Tiff] The River by Tiffani Chin

[jovian_w2002]

Wow, this is a really really good story! I loved it!

 

*spoilers*

 

I really think that there is a communication barrier in every family. The fear Evan portrays in this story seems very real, and to see someone he loves suffering is unbearable. I guess the need to protect someone is somewhat overshadowing logic here? Evan loves his brother so much that he is willing to believe that the river would "cure" their "ailments". Sounds like he's going with his emotions than his logical thinking. Just like his mother whose love is blindsided by Mr. Goldsmith's charms, his belief is blindsided by what the priest said.

 

Parents often think they know a lot about their children when in reality, they only like to hear what they want to hear and know what they want to know. What a great way to spend their anniversary, hehe. Was it really their anniversary? Hmm... sounds like Jamie knows a lot more about that family than anyone else in that family. Makes you wonder what his mum has been doing these few years with Mr. Goldsmith. Hmmm....

 

lol btw, Goldsmiths University is the college I'm currently enrolled in... hmmm wonder if that Mr. Goldsmiths is the headmaster in the school. I'll hunt him down for Evan and Porter haha

[Tiff]

This was where my heart stopped.

 

Excellent writing, Tiff!

Thanks, Dion!

 

I tried to mislead the reader...lol. I'm taking evil lessons from Kevin and Greg. So glad you enjoyed reading. Thanks for commenting.

 

Hey Tiff,

"the river" is the first of your stories I just read. I discover a perfect author and i will quickly read your other stories.

You say about your interests in your profile : "Any contact sport--I like to hit people.".

The way you hit us with your words is amazing : short, quick, direct . With very few words, you describe each character and they all stand in front of us, alive.

I support all the other comments above, I dont know what to add at the praises you earnt.

Well done, and now I have a lot to read .

Old bob

Heya Bob!

 

Hmm, I never thought about hitting people with my words, but now that you mentioned it...lol. Although, I still prefer those contact sports!

 

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading and commenting!

 

I'm suddenly very very afraid to mett Tiff....

Don't be afraid, darling. You know I love you. I swear, I only hit people during sports. Otherwise, I don't....

 

*hugs*

 

Wow, this is a really really good story! I loved it!

 

*spoilers*

 

I really think that there is a communication barrier in every family. The fear Evan portrays in this story seems very real, and to see someone he loves suffering is unbearable. I guess the need to protect someone is somewhat overshadowing logic here? Evan loves his brother so much that he is willing to believe that the river would "cure" their "ailments". Sounds like he's going with his emotions than his logical thinking. Just like his mother whose love is blindsided by Mr. Goldsmith's charms, his belief is blindsided by what the priest said.

 

Parents often think they know a lot about their children when in reality, they only like to hear what they want to hear and know what they want to know. What a great way to spend their anniversary, hehe. Was it really their anniversary? Hmm... sounds like Jamie knows a lot more about that family than anyone else in that family. Makes you wonder what his mum has been doing these few years with Mr. Goldsmith. Hmmm....

 

lol btw, Goldsmiths University is the college I'm currently enrolled in... hmmm wonder if that Mr. Goldsmiths is the headmaster in the school. I'll hunt him down for Evan and Porter haha

Heyyy Jovian!

 

It's very rare to have family members completely attuned to one another. Let's face it, we're all in our own little worlds, dealing with our own stress and emotions. We can only notice and be aware of so much, especially when people go to great lengths to hide the truth.

 

Fear is something I write about a lot. It's as powerful as love and hate. Fear can make you do extraordinary things, or terrible things, depending on the situation. In Evan's case, he was so far gone with the pain, lack of hope, despair, and love for his brother, that you're right: he let his emotions control him. He was willing to do something final to fix their problem, rather than looking at it objectively and simply telling his mother or another adult.

 

I didn't know there was a Goldsmiths University. Then again, how would I? LOL. Interesting. Yes, find a Mr. Goldsmith and randomly start accusing him of what he did to Evan and Porter. That would stir up some drama and big news.

 

Thanks for reading and commenting, dear!

[Meeko]

Gotcha no sports with Tiff, DEAL!

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow! What an awesome story!!

 

The ages of the characters isn't stated, but I picked Evan and Jamie as being around the fourteen age mark. The comment about girls, the height difference between Jamie and Mr. Goldsmith, the comment about them only being kids... they were still young. At that age, people can take things literally, especially when they were in desperate need of salvation. I can't imagine what it was like for Evan after six years of abuse, but I can really appreciate that he was willing to clutch at any straw of hope, and he would interpret it the way he wanted to, because he needed that hope.

I noticed that too, Graeme. I also assumed the characters were about that age.

 

While reading, I kept finding myself sympathizing with the mother's point of view. This has to qualify under "every mother's worst nightmare". You take the two most horrible things that a mother could imagine - finding out her children are being abused (by her husband, no less) and believing that her children are dead. I just kept identifying with the horrible pain, guilt and shame she must have been feeling at that time.

Well said, Cyn!

 

Also, the probability of two best friends being gay (unless they're best friends who met because they're gay) is very low. There are stories where that happens, but the scenario is probably just as rare as the whole twin fantasy reaching fruition. Also, Tiff tends to be a realistic author.

I disagree, Tim.

 

It's generally accepted that about one in ten males will be gay. That means that if twenty boys know each other two of them will be gay. Now I suppose in terms of sheer numbers it would seem unlikely that those two guys would randomly end up being close friends with each other. However, in terms of the real world, and personality I don't think it is.

 

For example two gay kids might feel 'different', if they met another kid like this and they developed a feeling of 'kindred spirits' that could easily lead to them forming a close, best-friend relationship prior to either being out. Also, not to be overly stereotypical but they may indeed have separate interests and hobbies that the other boys aren't particularly interested in that would also lead them to pair off. Just for the sake of being stereotypical maybe they both like drama, music, art etc (I think the whole subconsciously realizing they're kindred spirits thing is more salient though).

 

I'll use myself as an example. One of my fairly close male friends turned out to be gay and three of my close/fairly close female friends turned out to be lesbians! We were all in the closet at the time but years later look how things turned out?

 

Anyway, my points is that I think merely being gay or lesbian makes one subconsciously more likely to form friendships with other gays and lesbians. So it's not a random percentage thing. To me it's simply a matter of a 'birds of a feather' thing.

 

In any case, I didn't think either Jamie or Evan were gay and I certainly didn't think they were boyfriends. So I guess I'm off topic

 

I tried to mislead the reader...lol. I'm taking evil lessons from Kevin and Greg. So glad you enjoyed reading. Thanks for commenting.

I don't mislead the reader! ...I simply create situations in which the reader may possibly make fallacious assumptions

 

 

 

I can't add too much to what has already been said, although I definitely agree!

 

I will throw in a new topic though if you don't mind.

 

What was everyone's perception of Jamie?

 

One of the things I was struck by was how different he seemed in the scenes with Mr and Mrs Goldsmith to how he seemed in the scenes with Evan and Porter. Of course it all fit together perfectly at the end and made him a very consistent character (indeed he wouldn't have been consistent if he'd seemed consistent ), but I noticed how differently he acted in the two settings. With Mrs. Goldsmith he seemed apologetic, but very fatalistic and apt to justify his and/or Evan's behaviour. With Evan he tried to counsel him against his actions and he seemed more positive and encouraging.

 

Did anyone else notice that?

 

I noticed it the most between the first and third scene (the third scene being the second with Jamie). As the story progressed he sort of 'fused' into a unified character. Which was very well done, Tiff! Way to go!

 

A couple of other comments on Jamie:

 

Do people agree with his actions? Basically he agreed to help Evan without knowing what he was getting into then he felt obligated to go ahead and get directions to the river and take Evan and Porter out there. Personally speaking, I wouldn't have done that. I've have physically dragged Evan home to talk to his mom! (or tried if I weren't big enough to accomplish the task) Or I'd have gone straight to his mother myself, but I wouldn't have gone ahead and taken Evan out to the river. Of course this can be attributed to Jamie being a young teen. At that age being bound by promises, secrecy and such things is a bigger part of the culture. "but you promised"

 

So in that way it was very sensible, believable, and accurate for a young teen. It's not the way I would have expected an adult to behave though.

 

On another point, did Evan need Jamie for his plans at all? He'd already spoken to the reverend (or for some reason I thought his son), so he probably could have gotten directions out to the river without involving Jamie at all. Jamie's function for Evan seems to me to have been mostly for moral support.

 

 

Anyway, awesome story, Tiff!

 

I really enjoyed it!

 

-Kevin

[Tiff]

Wow! What an awesome story!!

Coming from you, that means a lot! Thanks!

 

I don't mislead the reader! ...I simply create situations in which the reader may possibly make fallacious assumptions

HAHA, your attempt at innocence won't work on me! I know you and your evil ways by now! Nice try, Kevin!

 

A couple of other comments on Jamie:

 

Do people agree with his actions? Basically he agreed to help Evan without knowing what he was getting into then he felt obligated to go ahead and get directions to the river and take Evan and Porter out there. Personally speaking, I wouldn't have done that. I've have physically dragged Evan home to talk to his mom! (or tried if I weren't big enough to accomplish the task) Or I'd have gone straight to his mother myself, but I wouldn't have gone ahead and taken Evan out to the river. Of course this can be attributed to Jamie being a young teen. At that age being bound by promises, secrecy and such things is a bigger part of the culture. "but you promised"

 

So in that way it was very sensible, believable, and accurate for a young teen. It's not the way I would have expected an adult to behave though.

Great observation, Kevin. If Evan and Jamie were older, I would not have believed in Jamie's actions. Like you said, it wouldn't have been realistic. An adult would run and get help, no matter what. But being young, and so close, promises are important and final. I know when I was younger, I'd feel bad about breaking a promise to my best friend.

 

But it was Jamie's nature to want to help his best friend, and he knew he shouldn't have agreed. He was regretting hsi decision, but Evan guilted him. Maybe Jamie caved because he knew Evan was in so much pain.

 

On another point, did Evan need Jamie for his plans at all? He'd already spoken to the reverend (or for some reason I thought his son), so he probably could have gotten directions out to the river without involving Jamie at all. Jamie's function for Evan seems to me to have been mostly for moral support.

Another great point, Kevin. I don't think Evan needed Jamie at all. He could have gotten a ride from someone else, or found a way if he really wanted to. I think by telling Jamie, it was his first step in reaching out for help. He was torn between ending the pain, and telling someone he could trust and getting help.

 

Plus, by telling Jamie, someone knew of his plans. Perhaps he wanted someone to talk him out of it, to stop him, or just for someone to remember him and know the truth of why he had taken those actions in the first place. (I hope that makes sense, lol! I can't explain myself. I'm bad a this!).

 

But you're right; on some level, Jamie was pure moral support.

 

And it all worked out in the end.

 

Your evil lessons are working wonders on me.

 

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Kevin! Love ya lots!

[Graeme]

On another point, did Evan need Jamie for his plans at all? He'd already spoken to the reverend (or for some reason I thought his son), so he probably could have gotten directions out to the river without involving Jamie at all. Jamie's function for Evan seems to me to have been mostly for moral support.

I disagree

 

If Evan had spoken to the reverend and ask for directions to the river, he would have probably learned that the river was a metaphor. I sincerely doubt that the reverend in his preaching was talking about a literal river, but that's the way Evan interpreted it. So, for the story to happen, Evan needed Jamie, because Jamie didn't realise that the river was a metaphorical river, either -- another pointer to the young age of the characters.

[canundra]

Cunning little bastards. Had me totally tricked

 

My favorite parts:

 

[Tiff]

Hey Canundra!

 

Thanks for reading and commenting.

 

But yeah, those "cunning bastards!" That's the point, to lead the reader on, and then WHAM! They're alive.

 

Glad you enjoyed.