Queer Guys in Fraternities

[methodwriter85]

Tonight I watched this presentation where two former frat guys talked about their experiences as being gay men in a 'world of heterosexual privilege". It was pretty cool.

 

One thing that got me was hearing one man talk about how, as the director of Greek Life in the early 90's, he made the decision to come out as a gay man because of one frat president who denounced "fags" at a rush meeting, when in reality said frat president was the boyfriend of another frat president. He realized at that point for the good of his students and to set an example, he had to come out. And I thought that was pretty cool.

 

Anyone ever know what it's like to walk that road, being queer in a world that's as highly masculine as fraternity?

[Krista]

It would be incredibly difficult, I would think for a gay man to be open in fraternities. It would depend greatly on the fraternity though, but the heavily masculine "typical" fraternities I would think would be hell in the University I go to. The University is progressive when it comes to gay rights, especially within the State, but Fraternities as much as they are part of the College scene, are out side of the circle in a sense. The University can enforce rules when things get out of hand, but they're definitely not breathing down the neck of the presidents belonging to these Fraternities.

 

Anyway, where did you watch it? It would've been an interesting thing to watch.

[rknapp]

Not at Rutgers in Piscataway/New Brunswick. There's a "Gay Frat" right on Frat Row within spitting distance of downtown New Brunswick. I only know of it since I went to the first GSA meeting of the year last September and a really cute guy showed up and presented the Frat to us, inviting us to a party (it's also incidentally well known for the best parties).

 

The school itself is rather progressive and I doubt that I would have any trouble if I walked around campus holding hands with my boyfriend. Even on the engineering campus, where I swear even some of the girls have penises. I could probably go to frat parties or rush most frats and not have trouble. The one place I might have trouble is ROTC, but that's a given.

[AFriendlyFace]

Tonight I watched this presentation where two former frat guys talked about their experiences as being gay men in a 'world of heterosexual privilege". It was pretty cool.

 

One thing that got me was hearing one man talk about how, as the director of Greek Life in the early 90's, he made the decision to come out as a gay man because of one frat president who denounced "fags" at a rush meeting, when in reality said frat president was the boyfriend of another frat president. He realized at that point for the good of his students and to set an example, he had to come out. And I thought that was pretty cool.

That does sound pretty cool!

 

One question though, I know this might be cynical, but was that guy really a "boyfriend" to the other frat president in the traditional sense of the word? I mean with dating, kissing, doing (non-sexual) things for each other, and generally considering him to be his boyfriend, or were they instead just regular partners for messing around?

 

I ask because there's often a pretty big disparity in between how someone might view themselves in one situation versus the other. A lot of guys (who may or may not be homosexual or bisexual) may mess around with other guys, maybe even regularly, and not perceive themselves as homosexual. On the other hand, if he admitted (if only to himself and the other guy) that they were in an actual relationship and were "boyfriends" then it's a lot more deceptive and hypocritical if he was criticising gays.

 

 

 

 

Not at Rutgers in Piscataway/New Brunswick. There's a "Gay Frat" right on Frat Row within spitting distance of downtown New Brunswick. I only know of it since I went to the first GSA meeting of the year last September and a really cute guy showed up and presented the Frat to us, inviting us to a party (it's also incidentally well known for the best parties).

Yes, I was thinking that there was a national gay fraternity. That's certainly the only one I'd have ever had any interest in joining.