Mark Arbour Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 The new story is up. I hope you like it. For those of you who are sailors, I apologize in advance because I know that I'll make several nautical mistakes. So if you find such errors, here's a forum to tell me about them. Gunroom Screw-Ups Forum I'd like to use this thread for general discussion about the story and it's characters.
Sir Galahad Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 (edited) I wasn't expecting the new story to be up so soon! Nice surprise. Good start, a cute kid & a horny lieutenant, there's definitely chemistry between them & if they hadn't got interrupted...be interesting to see where that goes! Looks like Wilcox could be a problem though, think our guy better watch his back. What's really cool though is there are so many innuendos & double entendres, very nice & accurate piece of writing so far. It was good to get the foundations of George's family history, all shits basically except for him! Looking forward to really getting into this. I do wonder though, how long do you think it'll be before we start getting the able seaman jokes? Edited April 3, 2009 by Sir_Galahad
Conner Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 "Tell me, lad, have you ever been buggered at sea?" "No, Sir, but I've been blown ashore!" That pretty much sums up my nautical knowledge. Great start to this new adventure. I like the characters, especially Mr. Travers.
paya Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 "Tell me, lad, have you ever been buggered at sea?" "No, Sir, but I've been blown ashore!" That pretty much sums up my nautical knowledge. Great start to this new adventure. I like the characters, especially Mr. Travers. Let's start another poll - how long will it take before Mr. Granger ends up in Captain's bed? ;-D (Guessing Mr. Travers' bed would be too easy... :-) )
Sir Galahad Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Let's start another poll - how long will it take before Mr. Granger ends up in Captain's bed? ;-D (Guessing Mr. Travers' bed would be too easy... :-) ) I'm not sure about the captains bed, I would've thought it was very unlikely in those days! That said you just never know. But Mr Travers'? CH2.
daffy106 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I'm very happy to see a story about late 18th century British Navy adventures. I am a total Hornblower fan, and a gay story about those times and places could be a lot of fun. I'm sure a lot of un-aknowledged sexual activity went on in those ships, and a more truthful story about what really went on would be a trip. Many historical writers imply that the sole real purpose of the Ship's Boy was to service the Captain and eliminate the necessity of him finding relief with the crew. I bet that would make interesing gossip! Certainly this story has started out wonderfully, and I am looking forward to more. I hope this story focuses a bit more on the adventure and romantic side with complex relationships, and not on an excess of repetitive raw sex (Some is good!) So far so good. daffy106
Conner Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Personally, I'm mature enough to deal with excessive raw sex.
paya Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 The new story is up. I hope you like it. For those of you who are sailors, I apologize in advance because I know that I'll make several nautical mistakes. So if you find such errors, here's a forum to tell me about them. Gunroom Screw-Ups Forum I'd like to use this thread for general discussion about the story and it's characters. This is not a nautical screw-up - but there is absolutely no date in chapter 2, was that an intention?
Mark Arbour Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 Personally, I'm mature enough to deal with excessive raw sex. I know, but I worry that your hand will get too calloused.
Mark Arbour Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 This is not a nautical screw-up - but there is absolutely no date in chapter 2, was that an intention? Great attention to detail Paya. It was intentional. I decided that unless there was an incident of great importance happening on that date, I was only going to reference the date occasionally. I think this makes sense, because news traveled so slowly in those days it would be difficult to make it completely synchronized.
paya Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Great attention to detail Paya. It was intentional. I decided that unless there was an incident of great importance happening on that date, I was only going to reference the date occasionally. I think this makes sense, because news traveled so slowly in those days it would be difficult to make it completely synchronized. That makes sense. I was just concerned about the flow of the time as I have no idea how long it took a Frigate to get from England to Gibraltar for example. So I don't exactly know when they got there. I try to imagine the progress of the events on the Continent on the background of the story to know where they are now, what's going to happen, where they will be, etc. That is why I need a date. :-) It does not have to be linked with news that get to the people on board, somebody just could keep a diary. Or Captain makes notes to some diary, doesn't he?
Mark Arbour Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 That makes sense. I was just concerned about the flow of the time as I have no idea how long it took a Frigate to get from England to Gibraltar for example. So I don't exactly know when they got there. I try to imagine the progress of the events on the Continent on the background of the story to know where they are now, what's going to happen, where they will be, etc. That is why I need a date. :-) It does not have to be linked with news that get to the people on board, somebody just could keep a diary. Or Captain makes notes to some diary, doesn't he? The Captain's diary would be the log. Don't worry, I'll toss them in.
Conner Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Mr. Granger (George) has just made Iggy his slave for the night and we're talking dates? :wacko: I declare a cliffhanger!! I'm really pleased that George stood his ground with Iggy and has the upper hand, at least for now. Definitely pay back time! So Mr Travers developed a concious? I think not! So, how do I join the Royal Navy?
Mark Arbour Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Mr. Granger (George) has just made Iggy his slave for the night and we're talking dates? :wacko: I declare a cliffhanger!! I'm really pleased that George stood his ground with Iggy and has the upper hand, at least for now. Definitely pay back time! So Mr Travers developed a concious? I think not! So, how do I join the Royal Navy? You crack me up! As for cliffhangers, well, I'd try to rush the next chapter but the cliffhanger there is even worse.
Sir Galahad Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 (edited) Well ok, I got it wrong between Granger & Travers in CH2, but it will happen. I think the sexual chemistry between them makes it inevitable. Iggy was a total unknown & George is quite right to make the bastard pay for the past. Be very interesting to see how far that goes. I'm with Mark on the time line; if my history serves me correctly nothing is worth mentioning for a little while. So the story should flow as naturally as it always does in his stories, within the guidelines of course of historical importance. I for one really don't see the need for a date stamp on every chapter. Really am enjoying this so far though. Edited April 5, 2009 by Sir_Galahad
Mark Arbour Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 Well ok, I got it wrong between Granger & Travers in CH2, but it will happen. I think the sexual chemistry between them makes it inevitable. Iggy was a total unknown & George is quite right to make the bastard pay for the past. Be very interesting to see how far that goes.I'm with Mark on the time line; if my history serves me correctly nothing is worth mentioning for a little while. So the story should flow as naturally as it always does in his stories, within the guidelines of course of historical importance. I for one really don't see the need for a date stamp on every chapter. Really am enjoying this so far though. Why thank you my gallant knight. I'm enjoying writing this one.
Conner Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Arrrgg, maties, chapter 3 is up on the main mast! :chris:
Mark Arbour Posted April 7, 2009 Author Posted April 7, 2009 Arrrgg, maties, chapter 3 is up on the main mast! :chris: Arggg maties? I'll have to work some pirates in along the way, just for you Conner. Maybe have them capture Granger, tie him up, and fist him. Or not.
Conner Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 Well, Georgie and Iggy have worked things out.....or in, as the case may be. I'm wondering how Iggy will come back into the story. I'm positive we'll see him again. His lust alone for Georgie's sweet bottom will do it. Mr. Travers is acting aloof towards George. (Or is that a lout? ) I'm guessing he's struggling internally with his attraction to George. Mr. Travers should drink more! Excellent action in this chapter. George shows his courage and commitment to his Captain and his crewmates. Yeah, pirates would be good. Why didn't I think of that? Great chapter, Mark!
Sir Galahad Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 I'll say Georgie & Iggy worked it out, several times in fact! I think your right he will pop up now & again in the story. I'm trying to work out what Travers problem is with Granger, & have a therory. We know Travers is attracted to George, but I really do think he's afraid to act on it when he's sober. Either because he hasn't come to terms with his sexuality, or he's terrified of being caught! Or both! lol Great chapter though. Yay pirates. Yarrrgh mates :chris: Ummm, maybe not! Nautical Joke for ya: A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her... He swims over and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back. She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself. Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it. Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow. Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole! He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face... As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, But I do not swallow seamen.
Eddy Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I'll say Georgie & Iggy worked it out, several times in fact! I think your right he will pop up now & again in the story.I'm trying to work out what Travers problem is with Granger, & have a therory. We know Travers is attracted to George, but I really do think he's afraid to act on it when he's sober. Either because he hasn't come to terms with his sexuality, or he's terrified of being caught! Or both! lol Great chapter though. Yay pirates. Yarrrgh mates :chris: Ummm, maybe not! Nautical Joke for ya: A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her... He swims over and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back. She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself. Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it. Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow. Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole! He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face... As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, But I do not swallow seamen. LOL
Sir Galahad Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 The chapter I meant to say when Travers & Granger got in on was 4. Yay, got it right! Another great chapter & Georgie finally gets his man. I do worry about this jealous streak that Travers has, I wonder if that will come into play sometime down the road. Wilcox I think is going to be a real problem, there is some scheming going on somewhere, & no doubt it's some revenge thing between the families. Hahaha, Had a chuckle at the Doctor at the beginning of the chapter, where he just poked to see if he was all right. Just reminded me of the old Doc I had when I was a kid, used to give you aspirin for almost every ailment!
paya Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) The chapter I meant to say when Travers & Granger got in on was 4. Yay, got it right! Another great chapter & Georgie finally gets his man. I do worry about this jealous streak that Travers has, I wonder if that will come into play sometime down the road. Wilcox I think is going to be a real problem, there is some scheming going on somewhere, & no doubt it's some revenge thing between the families. Hahaha, Had a chuckle at the Doctor at the beginning of the chapter, where he just poked to see if he was all right. Just reminded me of the old Doc I had when I was a kid, used to give you aspirin for almost every ailment! Great chapter! Really one of my favourites! Nice how Granger "got into the cot" well done! I really enjoyed reading the first part (not to say the other parts were bad... just as not as good ;-D) Why I have this feeling that I've already seen a character like Wilcox... I remember a guy who liked to manipulate people by abusing their weak sides... ;-) He ended up badly but until then he was a real pain in the ass... looking forward to next chap! Edited April 9, 2009 by paya
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