Unwanted No More by Surfgrommett

[ricky]

A great story start. Left me breathless and crying for more before he freezes to death.

 

Well done. And you say you are new to this?

 

My butt. I sense a wringer.

[SurfGrommett]

A great story start. Left me breathless and crying for more before he freezes to death.

 

Well done. And you say you are new to this?

 

My butt. I sense a wringer.

 

 

dork u know im new ...well new to sharing anything with anyone

[ricky]

dork u know im new ...well new to sharing anything with anyone

 

You still haven't convinced me that you are new. Nobody starts out that cool and that clean. And on everything I've ever managed to pry out of your cookie grubbing little mits too!

 

Makes me jealous as heck.

 

But the Genie is out of the bottle now and you are under the gun to perform.

[phana14]

AHEM

You still haven't convinced me that you are new. Nobody starts out that cool and that clean. And on everything I've ever managed to pry out of your cookie grubbing little mits too!

 

Makes me jealous as heck.

 

But the Genie is out of the bottle now and you are under the gun to perform.

AHEM!!

When you guys get through uh talking, is there a link uh somewhere?

[ricky]

AHEM

AHEM!!

When you guys get through uh talking, is there a link uh somewhere?

 

Yepper and in the efiction announcements too and at the top of the efiction story list.

 

Or here:

https://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1690

[Nephylim]

Awesome story. I hope you are not going to keep us, or that poor boy, hanging for too long before you post the next chapter.

 

 

I agree with ricky that is pretty fabulous for a first story. It is very polished and full of emotion and detail.

 

You totally rock )

 

 

[ricky]

Awesome story. I hope you are not going to keep us, or that poor boy, hanging for too long before you post the next chapter.

 

 

I agree with ricky that is pretty fabulous for a first story. It is very polished and full of emotion and detail.

 

You totally rock )

 

 

 

See, told ya!

[phana14]

This story shows a lot more maturity than one would normally find in a person of your profile age.

Good for you!

If your story boy is indeed *dead*, I believe that would be the first time I've seen that in a first chapter.

And THAT leaves a mountain of potential for the *rest of the story!*

Good luck dude, whatever path you take.

[ricky]

This story shows a lot more maturity than one would normally find in a person of your profile age.

Good for you!

If your story boy is indeed *dead*, I believe that would be the first time I've seen that in a first chapter.

And THAT leaves a mountain of potential for the *rest of the story!*

Good luck dude, whatever path you take.

 

See, told ya!

[Nephylim]

See, told ya!

 

 

See, told ya!

 

 

I guess he told you then

[James89]

Wow, powerful start to a story! I'm intrigued...

[ricky]

And 8 reviews by top readers and authors themselves in just two days! What more proof do you want.

 

Ya, I confess, I may be a little biased but I also know talent when I see it. And I SEE it.

 

Surf on with your bad self. And be prepared to be nagged for more by the best.

[SurfGrommett]

hi guys. sorry ive made u wait so long for ch 2. been having a bad time lately but i think things r getting a teeny bit better now. ill have ch 2 up by saturday..maybe before. sorry i made u all wait. i promise i wont let it happen again.

 

hugs

 

Surf

[Cia]

LOL. He's got the right attitude about keeping the readers happy too Wonderful. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

 

Edited to add: Umm, maybe I should be less of a smartass until he gets to know me. I agree with Nephy. You come first

Edited October 6, 2010 by Cia

[Nephylim]

Hun... I am as excited as anyone else to read chapter 2 but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost and you are young and have a life to live. Live while you can and write when you must and just do everything you can to be happy.

[ricky]

Ya well he must have stolen that avatar because he's anything but a little angel. lol

 

You should see if you can find one where the halo is being held up by a set of horns.

[phana14]

OK, Surf Dude!

 

Although chapter 1 was extremely well written, it was so short that I didn't really know if we were going to see that quality continue. And then along comes chapter 2 and any concerns can be tossed aside.

 

Your storyline weaving really worked perfectly! You 'almost' gave me what I wanted for our freezing-cold little guy. And that would be a warm vehicle and tender/loving hands. In ch. 1 I SO wanted to be able to just pick him up and get him to warmth and safety!

 

I noticed over in that other review place that I wasn't the only one to hope that the "thud!" was caused by the wolf and not our nameless boy. (and can't we give him a name soon? please?)

 

You have a 'super' story going here, Tanner. Good work! Be proud of yourself!

[Ara]

Hey 2 Chapters in and wow. Have to say i am agreein with the other reprobates postin here that youve set your stall out very well on this.

 

I'm looking forward to the journey we are all gonna take on this one but also what Nephy said, Take your time live your life and write at your own pace. Your only young once and you have to make it last as long as you can, hell I managed to stay 19 for 8 years but then it all caught up with me and now I just cant do it anymore

[SurfGrommett]

thanks for the comments guys. you will be happy to know that chapter 3 is already being worked on and you will see it much faster than you saw chapter 2. chapter 3 will answer some of your questions...though which questions get answered is still up in the air

 

hugs

 

Surf

 

 

[Cia]

LOL, double talk and vague assurances that we will get to know parts of what we want but not necessarily what that is. I see you have learned the fine art of teasing the readers. Great work and keep writing!

[phana14]

LOL, double talk and vague assurances that we will get to know parts of what we want but not necessarily what that is. I see you have learned the fine art of teasing the readers. Great work and keep writing!

 

Wonder where he got THAT 'trick' from! hmm.

[phana14]

Hey 2 Chapters in and wow. Have to say i am agreein with the other reprobates postin here that youve set your stall out very well on this.

 

I'm looking forward to the journey we are all gonna take on this one but also what Nephy said, Take your time live your life and write at your own pace. Your only young once and you have to make it last as long as you can, hell I managed to stay 19 for 8 years but then it all caught up with me and now I just cant do it anymore

I have to laugh! I admitt that I have described people over the years as 'reprobates'!

Ara? Is it me or you or?

This is funny! I doubt for a moment that either/or any of us here fit that discription. Except in jest. And then ALL of us are in the big barrel! YAY!

[Ara]

Hehehe i was just lookin for an excuse to use it it was my word for the day but yeah its defo more of an all of us in the big barrel kinda reprobates. Now for today Im feeling the need to call somebody a wench I dunno why it has got me in trouble on more than 1 occasion but watch this space I'm sure ill get it out somewhere in the next day or 2

[SurfGrommett]

Chapter 3 is up...just waiting for approval

[Cia]

Great work Grommett. I really loved this chapter; you have so much emotional development going on with the characters.

Plus you finally named the boy. Giving a character a name brings them an identity that they don't have otherwise. I've used that in writing before but I like knowing the characters a bit more than 'boy' lol. Poor Seth. It sounds like he hasn't had it the easiest in life and it's only going to get harder. He's got a huge emotional attachment to Shane that is confusing for him I'm sure and now the man he worships as his savior is injured in a savage attack. Obviously this town is haunted by something very bad and they ran head first into it.

Your writing style continues to impress. You have a great flow and your sense of pacing and dramatic impact is well used. This story has more twists and turns than a labyrinth. I for one am quite eager to see what chapter 4 will have for us.

Edited November 24, 2010 by Cia
hiding my spoilers