Wiener Dispute!

[Arpeggio]

Camilo and I (Lacey) have joint custody over our (MY) wiener. Lately, we've been unable to share it properly, and Cammy treats the wiener unfairly, so I'm filing for full custody!

 

My case: Cammy beats the wiener and keeps it hidden away from sunlight all the time. If I have custody of it solely, I vow to take better care of it than HE ever could!

 

VOTE FOR ME!

Edited August 22, 2011 by Arpeggio

[Camilo]

Friends,

 

I am horrified that it has come to this, but I can no longer let Lacey neglect poor Wiener Jr. Please aid me in providing Wiener with the best care he deserves.

 

My Case:

 

Lacey neglects wiener constantly! He believes that love is just saying hi and goodbye and cold pleasantries! Wiener deserves more than a "hi" and then "goodbye". He needs someone to show him that he is loved! Love is shown through human touch and warmth - something that Lacey denies Wiener! He needs to be hugged regularly so that he isn't deprived of physical affection! I provide him with a warm and tight hug every day! I care about him! When I do take him out I make sure that he is properly protected! I make sure he has enough sunscreen on! Lacey, on the other hand does not even use sunscreen when he takes Wiener out! It's abuse! When they come back Wiener is all red and sore - this skin chaffed! It pains me to see him like this; I've told Lacey countless times that before he takes him out he needs to put on enough sunscreen but Lacey just ignores me and tells me that he doesn't believe in sunscreen. Wiener deserves to be with some who loves him and takes care of him. Not a cold hearted individual who just takes him out to brag like a trophy.

 

Please friends,

Vote LOVE

[Arpeggio]

My job, as a wiener owner, is to make sure I provide what is necessary for Wiener Jr. I have never harmed poor Jr. as oppose to you, Camilo, who has beaten Jr. on a daily basis, and allowed other people (MATT) to put their hands on poor Jr. I give him what he needs, but not without a firm hand. Everyday I make sure that Junior is washed and emptied. Just because he was sunburned and because I'm not prone to cuddles and touching does not mean I care any less! Atleast he gets sunlight instead of being locked away 24/7.

 

Furthermore, sunscreen is for squares.

 

I have evidence that Junior is MY wiener. His skin tone matches my skin tone (let's disregard for a minute that Cam and I have the same skin tone). Once the DNA test comes in, we will know for 100%!

 

Vote SAFETY

Edited August 22, 2011 by Arpeggio

[TetRefine]

I voted Nephy........

[rustle]

I read and reread the arguments. They are cogent and passionately argued.

 

First, I note that Nephy has not volunteered an opinion, nor expressed any love or desire for wiener jr.. For this reason, I feel she would be not be the best choice. We must put wiener's welfare first and foremost, and every weiner needs to be loved and wanted, more than anything else.

 

This is not to imply that anyone here would not enjoy having wiener, nor act in said wiener's best inerest, responsibly, simply because that individual didn't ask for wiener. But responsibility is not love.

 

Next, I look at Lacey's impassioned plea. Who among us, having wiener, would wish to lose it? Certainly, being challenged by Cammy, Lacey has risen to the defense, and the merits of a stable environment for wiener. Perhaps not perfect, but surely providing an opportunity to breathe free, and bask, proudly. A slight sunburn seems a fair trade, and a good experience for wiener, if only once in a lifetime.

 

Finally, reading Camilo's eloquent argument, there is no doubt that Cammy loves and wants wiener, and is competent in caring for same, and concerned for wiener's safety and well-being. There is no doubt that wiener would be well-loved and cared for in his custody. However, of concern is the statement, not rebutted, that Camilo would beat wiener daily.

 

In the end, there is but one wiener, and I'm not Solomon, to order the division of wiener, that a portion may go to each. I voted for wiener to stay with Lacey, with this advice: if not sunscreen, then exercise moderation in sun exposure.

 

on second thought, let 'em fight it out

Edited August 25, 2011 by rustle

[Hamen Cheese]

I am certain that there is more than enough Weiners going around here to share.

[Camilo]

Bribe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Prince Duchess]

Bribe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why thats not a bribe at all

[Camilo]

Why thats not a bribe at all

 

Well, I can't show what I currently do not have, thanks to someone *stares Lacey down*

 

Vote Love! Vote Cammy!

[Camilo]

As for that Nephylim woman, I beg all of you to reconsider! Think of the safety of Jr.! We cannot risk his safety by entrusting our ray sunshine to Nephylim and her vampire friends! Think of the teeth! Oh lord the teeth! My poor Wiener cannot be put through all that pain and suffering!

[JamesSavik]

Bribe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It worked for me. Sorry Tet.

[Arpeggio]

Holy hell

 

I changed my vote for Cammy. -oogles picture-

 

 

....wait

Edited August 26, 2011 by Arpeggio

[TetRefine]

*Reloads the shotgun*

[paya]

I think the problem is nobody asked the poor Wiener where he'd like to stay. He should go to a consultation with a social worker (ahhh the innuendo! ) to define his will. Maybe he likes Camilo's beating him every day, maybe it's pleasurable for him. Maybe he doesn't like Lacey's sun-tanning him and hurts when burnt. We won't know until we ask him.