Depression

[Mark92]

Hey all

 

Good to see you back Joe, and look forward to reading your stuff

 

I'm still on an up today As well as the day to day chores, I've powdered the chooks and checked out the wood. Mrs fox is definately preggers, and Mr and Mrs Puddleduck are back on the pond and they brought some friends along.

 

I dont eat duck they are far too cute That, and Stuby's mum would kill me

Hugs all round

[comicfan]

Sounds like the farm is back to life there Mark. I see you are keeping up with all the animals in your woods.

 

Joe - Prompt 118 was Myths and Legends. Naturally I would know which is which, I create the damn things.

 

As for the beta projects well still playing catch up but nearly done.

[JOeKEool]

Thanks Comic. I was sure you would know which prompt it was. I will post ASAP. Good luck with the beta. I don't know how you do half of what you do here.

I hope you know how much we all appreciate your efforts

 

Mark I'm glad you're doing well. Being close to nature is certainly good for the spirit. I had a pleasant distraction at the park. I watched two crows and a gull fight over a big chunk of burrito. They were about two feet from my car.The crows tried to pick at it. The gull swallowed the whole thing in one bite.

You said "powdered the chooks". Are you referring to chickens? What does powder mean? Tell Stu I say Hi and HUGS !!

 

We sort of have spring here. We get a day or two of warm(60F) and then a day or two (or three) of bitter cold and snow and wind. It seems twice as cold after the warm days.

 

The kids had the last week off for spring break. I was going night and day. A nap here and there. We had a good week though. I might enjoy this week without them. NO. I'll be lonely.

 

I guess a Happy Easter is in order. Hope all who celebrate have a good time.

[Arpeggio]

I have horrible depression, and I hide it really, really well.

[Mark92]

Hey all Thanks Unc I appreciate any kind of support.

 

Joe I will read your stuff as soon as I can. I'm busy writing another fairy story. Yes I do mean chickens. And powdering them means rubbing powder into their feathers to keep them mite free, I also have to grease their bottoms too, but I wont go into that LOL

 

And Lacey Welcome, and you can be yourself here. It's not a place for gossip or judgement. We listen , we care, and we help if we can

[comicfan]

Lacey, if anyone paid attention in chat or your posts elsewhere they would know the truth. You don't hide as well as you think but no one is going to force you to talk about anything. Just know if you need a shoulder there is always one available.

 

Mark - Why am I afraid to ask about greasing up a chicken's bottom? Boy those eggs must just shoot out. lol.

[Mark92]

So you do want to know about greasing a chickens butt

Well put it this way, If your arse was that small, and you had to lay a sizeable egg each day. I think you would get sore too LOL

I wear latex gloves love the latex LOL

[ashessnow]

It's good to see people are still here, that makes me very happy.

 

It has been a terrible few weeks but that's typical for now. It's a long story why but that's irrelevant, I'm doing better than I was. Actually, this is the first semester that my depression has not screwed with my academics, at least so far. But that is something, I suppose.

 

Today was also the first time I even thought about writing in months, so I expect I'll be getting back into that again soon. So I guess It been pretty awful, but I'm beginning to come out of it. Yay.

[Mark92]

Hey Ashes That's great news

Keep improving and keep coming here You started the thread after all. All credit to you

 

 

Hope everyone else is cool?

I'm re-discovering some old internet pals, who helped me online with The Legacy. I was only 13 when I started it. And now back in touch with some of the realtime lifestyle Master's and Mistresses is very cool indeed.

[JOeKEool]

Hi Ashes. Sorry you are having trouble. Keep going forward. I know what a grip depression can have on you. Good to have you share with us. We owe all this to you. I think you might have saved my life. And probably many more ,too. This thread is such a source of hope for all of us. Thank you !!!

[hh5]

Congratulation ashes!!

 

my depression still wrecks everything ... even worst with academics ... or situations

[comicfan]

Alright, I think part of my problem lately is simply sleep. I ain't getting much. Makes it hard to get things done when you are tired and cranky. Doesn't help that my job has had my work schedule all over the damn place.

 

Add to it someone I was talking to steady has gone missing and my life feels a bit up in the air. However this too shall pass. hope everyone else is okay.

[Bumblebee]

Seeing all my old school people going to the year 12 ball and the new zealand music tour made me kinda depressed, it looked like everyone was happy and friends with each other.

[Mark92]

Hugs all

 

Hi hh5 Hang in there buddy, Please talk to us, we will help if we can.

 

Hey Unc Sorry to here your not sleeping, I cope better with less sleep. I find just resting and relaxing is as good as sleep. But thats me

 

Hi Bee, Cheer youself up with something Treat yourself to something.

[K.C.]

I guess days like today are going to be the ones that hit me the most. I smile through the pain, make those around me feel comfortable but keep it burried deep inside. Days like today when everyone else is busy off doing what they need to do...the house is so quiet...so alone. Random thought pops in my head "I'll go get Chinese food for lunch" (I haven't been eating lately...not sleeping very well too but thankfully, 'knock-on-wood' my nightmares have dissipated of late) ...ooops rambling!

 

Next thought, "Mom loves Chinese, I'll call her to see if she wants me to bring her some..."

 

it hits me! She's gone

 

Now alone and crying

 

Have to clear my head...stuck between do I drive to the grave site which is rather far or try to get lost in the backyard?

 

Lots of land and trees might be a better idea then heavy traffic and driving while sleep deprived, hungry, swollen eyes and a headache...Lordy I'm a mess!

 

Thank god there isn't anyone to see me!

 

Gotta go...sorry for rambling

[comicfan]

I guess days like today are going to be the ones that hit me the most. I smile through the pain, make those around me feel comfortable but keep it burried deep inside. Days like today when everyone else is busy off doing what they need to do...the house is so quiet...so alone. Random thought pops in my head "I'll go get Chinese food for lunch" (I haven't been eating lately...not sleeping very well too but thankfully, 'knock-on-wood' my nightmares have dissipated of late) ...ooops rambling!

 

Next thought, "Mom loves Chinese, I'll call her to see if she wants me to bring her some..."

 

it hits me! She's gone

 

Now alone and crying

 

Have to clear my head...stuck between do I drive to the grave site which is rather far or try to get lost in the backyard?

 

Lots of land and trees might be a better idea then heavy traffic and driving while sleep deprived, hungry, swollen eyes and a headache...Lordy I'm a mess!

 

Thank god there isn't anyone to see me!

 

Gotta go...sorry for rambling

 

No one may be there but know people care. Hang in there KC. Life goes on. I know I feel like I've been on a merry go round with a really long down stroke but eventually it has to go up for everyone. Trust me, I still have moments after three years where I go to do things and think "Maybe I should pick up a coffee for Mom" or "Maybe Mom would like Chinese tonight." Worse is moments when you sit there watching a favorite movie and want to call her up and you realize for a moment, my god she is gone. At first the pain was all there was but as time goes on I find myself shaking my head and remembering things she would say to me instead. Now instead of the rip your soul apart it is more of bittersweet moment. Never easy but it gets better.

[Mark92]

My heart goes out to you KC and you Unc

I dont want the memories of mine. That doesnt mean I can stop them. At 3am this morning, Baz ran into my room and shook me awake. I was screaming and sweating. And crying my eyes out. My nightmares are painful and linger long after I've woken up.

But......They are less often, they are getting better. Because I, am getting better.

You will get there KC, and like Unc says, you are never alone.

And you are not rambling. It's what this column is here for. Never be afraid to come and vent.

 

to all

[JOeKEool]

Thought I'd say Hi. Things are a bit rough right now. Haven't figured out just what or why. I guess it's just life. I don't know.

[Mikelaing74]

It's been a while since I've checked this thread.

 

Mark, I'm pleased your getting better, hopefully the nightmares will dissipate in time.

 

KC I've not had to go through the trauma of losing my mum or dad, so I'm not going to say I understand, I don't. But hang in there, things will get better, they have to.

 

Joe, I don't know you, but I know the illness. Hang on, every day you achieve something, just look for it to make your day that little bit better.

[Mark92]

Thought I'd say Hi. Things are a bit rough right now. Haven't figured out just what or why. I guess it's just life. I don't know.

 

 

Try and keep in touch Joe we do worry about you

[Mark92]

Thanks for your words of support Mike

 

I had a chat with Ashesnow last night. He started this thread many moons ago. And things look like they are on the up for him too. Much luck ashes

 

I'm still on the up and down, but the ups are now more frequent than the downs.

 

Hugs all round

[acht-acht]

Joe, my dear - what is it? I think you have been coping so well with all kinds of crap that life has thrown your way recently. Maybe it was all a bit much. I know this feeling when nothing seems right ...

 

Hugs,

 

and hugs to you too, KC. I haven´t lost anybody I saw everyday and spent a lot of time with yet ... so I can´t really imagine how alone you feel now. Hug, hug hug.

 

Clara

[Bumblebee]

One of our horses got put down today and then buried.

And because of the confidentiality rule of stables I can't even tell anyone who the horse was or even actually talk about to anyone else in the horse world.

Only 3 of us actually know what really happened and why.

But its business, and thats still something I haven't learnt yet. That even though I live, love and spend all of my time doing my best to care for these extremely expensive horses, its still a business and that horses will come and go and even if I love one of them unless I buy them, they will always belong to someone else and I will have virtually no control over their outcome.

[Roan]

Hi All

 

Big hugs to everyone, Joe, Mark, Bee, Acht, Wayne, hh, Ashes, Lacey, Mike.

 

One of the things that I keep coming back to is that depression isnt like a cold, its not there one day gone the next. Often it is a predisposition always waiting.

 

I'm doing better at the moment, for a lot of reasons I'm strokger than I have been for a while. Some time with a good thrapist, some time without too many really bad things happening, but overall I guess I'm just starting to be ok with being myself, and maybe thats the main thing required.

 

I am always wary though that another bad period may only be just around the corner.

 

What I like most about being in a better frome of mind is how much more energy I have and how much more energy I have to give other people. SO if you want to chat anytime, the colt is in

 

Roan

[Mark92]

To all

 

Hopefully we are all supporting each other . Does it ever go away? Has anyone ever been really "cured"?

Everyone tells me my "lows" are less frequent. I still have a long way to go, but its now much more of a smile on my face.

Thank you Clara, Bee and Roan

I really dont know what is happening with Joe, I know whatever it is its tough, but hopefully he will stay in touch

 

Hugs all