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Posted

So for those who are able to see this, I figured I'd set up a topic here. Given this is my first real attempt at fantasy, I was hoping for some feed back. Reviews are awesome, and I love the banter, but I figured people could or would like to use the forums to give me some input. Since my hope is to ePublish this, I'd be glad for any comments.

Andy

Posted

Hmmm! Where to start. Q10 has written something entirely different. It is a gay fantasy story set in an alternative universe that has magic, wizards, talking unicorns, and a whole panoply of characters locked in a war. My only regret is that our hero has a prince who seems destined to be his consort and they haven't had any time to consort with one another.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

The latest chapter has a couple of interesting revelations. Here I thought the warrior prince's dad was going to be the problem and then you spring on us who the wizard Farrell's father is. Posted Image

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Posted

The latest chapter has a couple of interesting revelations. Here I thought the warrior prince's dad was going to be the problem and then you spring on us who the wizard Farrell's father is. Posted Image

 

Sigh, and here I thought you would be totally stoked that I included more of the budding romance between Farrell and Miceral. All you got from that chapter was the teeny weeny insignificant point that Farrell is Meglar's son? 0:)

 

Horgon might still be a problem, I mean he doesn't approve, so that leaves open the possibilities I suppose. :whistle:

Posted

Sigh, and here I thought you would be totally stoked that I included more of the budding romance between Farrell and Miceral. All you got from that chapter was the teeny weeny insignificant point that Farrell is Meglar's son? Posted Image

 

Horgon might still be a problem, I mean he doesn't approve, so that leaves open the possibilities I suppose. Posted Image

 

Budding was all we got.Posted Image Farrell spent the night in bed alone and while he was in dire need of rest, a cuddle would have been nice!Posted Image

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Posted

Dave,

 

You don't want me to rush to the good parts all at once do you? I mean, you make Farrell seem like a cheap trollop, pushing him into bed with someone he just met. 0:)

Posted

Dave,

 

You don't want me to rush to the good parts all at once do you? I mean, you make Farrell seem like a cheap trollop, pushing him into bed with someone he just met. Posted Image

 

Per your story their love is ordained by the gods. Why fight Kismet?

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Posted

The latest chapter shows the evacuation is almost complete and everything seems to be sailing along.

Danger, danger, I suspect Farrell's father has a surprise for them!

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Posted

Of course Meglar has to do something, I mean he can't leave them be for three days without letting them know he cares. Of course he doesn't know it's his son who's defending Northhelm, if he did, I'm sure he'd have come by already to say hello.

Posted

Farrell is not in awe of his mentors and seems like he wants to do it all himself. I wonder if he will be able to stand up to his father who seems to have no problem using others to aid in his assaults?

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Posted

Farrell's mentors certainly have more to teach him than he thinks. Whether or not he listens could be an issue, but he is worlds above them in ability so they might not be able to keep up with him when he's doing his thing. The problem with knowing what's going to happen is I have to check and double check my responses lest I give something away. Not that there are too many folks following along so it might end up just being only you I slip up with :P

Posted

Farrell's mentors certainly have more to teach him than he thinks. Whether or not he listens could be an issue, but he is worlds above them in ability so they might not be able to keep up with him when he's doing his thing. The problem with knowing what's going to happen is I have to check and double check my responses lest I give something away. Not that there are too many folks following along so it might end up just being only you I slip up with Posted Image

 

I guess fewer readers is the price of being premium. It seems that all the administrators on the site volunteer their time and expertise to keep the site up with just a few premium subscriptions to help with the cost. I can well understand the price increase and wonder what we can do to get those who can afford it, to become premium members? I know I didn't even consider it until I found that this story was going to only be available on premium. Like everyone else, I just never really gave it any thought as to how much it must take to keep the site going.

Posted

Chapter 8 is up and finally our two consorts get some together time! And while it was personal, it wasn't "magical" in that the only magic was the mundane kind called love.

Well done Q!

Posted

Making someone love you isn't as satisfying as the real thing. Fortunately Farrell had good teachers so he didn't fall into the trap of using his powers to convince someone to like him.

 

Given their ability to live for quite a long time and the fact they were 'destine' to be together, these two better enjoy the time they spend together or else it could be quite a long eternity otherwise. :P

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
Chapter 10 is up and proceeds along lovely until the end and then POW, everything is extremely difficult to figure out. What a cliff-hanger ending to the chapter. CJ and Cia both would be envious. Posted Image
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Posted

Cliff? What Cliff? I'm being framed. Now I know how poor CJ feels. Cia must be paying you, but she's wasting her money, Premium Content isn't eligible for a reader's choice aware, not even King of Cliffs, so I am NOT eligible no matter how hard you or Cia work at it. :D

Posted

So there is at least one more following along although I hadn't posted in the discussion forum until now. One question I have: are you going to describe the magical principles that Farrell is using to create the environment for his showdown with Meglar? There were some hints in the first chapter, but now that he is back home, I'm wondering if he'll get back to his construction/preparations and we will learn more about magic in your universe. Of course, a little more time for consorting would also be good... Posted Image

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Posted

So there is at least one more following along although I hadn't posted in the discussion forum until now. One question I have: are you going to describe the magical principles that Farrell is using to create the environment for his showdown with Meglar? There were some hints in the first chapter, but now that he is back home, I'm wondering if he'll get back to his construction/preparations and we will learn more about magic in your universe. Of course, a little more time for consorting would also be good... Posted Image

 

Nice to hear from another who is following.

 

Here's the thing, it's hard to balance too much vs too little. Too much description makes one's eyes roll back in their head, too little and folks are like - wait, how the hell did that just happen. Throughout the course of the book(s) Farrell, and others, will use magic, though because this is from Farrell's POV, most of our knowledge will come from him. There will be others who pop in who are older than Farrell who will teach him during the course of the story.

 

I've written the ultimate end, though it has undergone a few changes to account for different characters I added or deleted and different dynamics than I first envisioned, but the final battle won't really change much. So with that in mind, I'm trying to add in the details bit by bit that will answer what Farrell and Meglar are doing without having to explain things or make the reader stop and ask WTH happened.

 

What I wanted to do with this story is make it less about the wizardry, and more about the relationships/characters. But since being a wizards is so integral to Farrell, I'm trying to include snippets here and there as well as magic - or High Magic episodes to allow me to flesh out some of those details well before the end.

 

If that didn't answer it well enough let me know, i'm trying to answer without giving away too much. And there is a long way to go with this, I mean we've barely scratched the surface of Nendor, there are a ton more places and people to introduce before this is over.

 

Thanks for the note and please do tell me if there are parts where you're wanting more so I can think about correcting things before it gets published.

 

Andy

Posted

Chapter 11 is up and as usual, my review is hammered for being stereotypical. Unknown to the author, is the fact that I believe in a true relationship, it is both fitting and proper to give as well as to receive. However, as Ral is big in physical stature compared to Farrell and has been guilty of both severely wounding him as well as raising several welts, I thought it not unreasonable that Farrell's mentors wonder about other possible injuries! Posted Image

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Posted

Hammered? :o As Usual? :blink: Me? :huh:

 

Well fine, I suppose it is a bit understandable they might want to check, especially if there a lot of riding on the horizon, but I suspect they might want to express some concern for Miceral - you know what they say about those shy, skinny boys who take up with older men. Cough cough Dean Warner cough cough.

 

Nuff said. 0:)

Posted

Ha, ha, ha! Yeah it does make for a better fantasy if both are well endowed and know how to make good use of their sabers.Posted Image

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Posted

I try to never give away things that may or may not be coming in the future, but I can safely say that you will never find out length of anyone's 'sabre' in this book, nor will you find out who sticks who or even if anyone gets stabbed, well other than Miceral stabbing Farrell on the practice yard while Master Thomas was watching and . . . . Damn, that sounds really smutty. Did I really write that into the story? :blink:

Posted

Chapter 12 is about an we learn about Farrell's early years and that he really had no childhood. It explains a lot about him.

 

My only complaint is that the story as a whole is developing slowly and I want more. A lot more.

  • Like 1

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