[Renee Stevens] ATTN: Joined by Blood readers

[Renee Stevens]

I am currently working on revising Joined by Blood a bit to try and send to publishers. With that in mind, I want to ask all those who read the story what DID not work within the story. Was there something that just seemed so "out there" that it detracted from the story as a whole? Was there something that made you scratch your head and go "really? are you kidding me?" If there was something in the story that you found completely unbelievable, then please let me know so that I can see if there is a way to fix it before sending it for publication. Don't pull any punches on this one as I really do need to know. Thanks all!

[Daddydavek]

Renee

 

I love this story so much that when I came across this post, I went back and read all the chapter reviews to refresh my memory. If there are any problems with the story that I would emphasize it's Chapter 16. In the flow of things it just felt awkward. Perhaps the background info and thoughts could be summarized and included in Chapter 15 before that chapter's ending.

 

Another problem I had was Becca suddenly appearing in their bedchamber in Chapter 20. Being possessed by an 'old one' is unknown to that point in the story. But perhaps a line planted earlier in the chapter about the guards being uneasy, as if an ill wind had blown by would be enough to rationalize such a huge error in security.....?

 

Whatever you change or leave alone, I have to say your story is better than most of the stuff I've gotten from Amazon!

[Renee Stevens]

Thank you so much Daddy both for the input and your wonderful praise! I will definitely look at those spots and see what I can do!