sayings or quotes

[Guest fayevalentine]

I thought it would be a neat idea to share our favorite quotes or sayings, silly or serious, whatever they may be. A favourite funny one of mine that my mom used to say is:

 

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose............but you can't pick your friend's nose.

 

 

and another that actually has some wisdom in it:

 

Love many, trust few, but always paddle your own canoe.

 

 

I hope you guys share yours as well, I know there's some good ones out there. Just in case you're wondering, Yes I'm bored right now

[Bao]

ooo i got one.

 

candy maybe dandy, but fruit helps you poop.

[NickolasJames8]

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer

 

Makaveli

 

You have to stand behind someone before you can stab him in the back

 

Unknown

[Adit]

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

-John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873)

[sat8997]

My husband and our older daughter (she's 16) were in the middle of a very heated debate, and my husband says "You don't seem to be understanding my point" and my daughter said "That's because I don't speak boy".

 

Sharon

Edited January 25, 2006 by sat8997

[EleCivil]

"If you are an idealist, it does not matter what you do or what goes on around you because it isn't real anyway."

-Robert Penn Warren

 

 

"I am a child in my romanticism. I am a flipper baby in my idealism. And admittedly, I cannot look an adult in the eye without laughing."

-Joey Goebel, "The Anomalies"

 

 

"We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."

-Charles Bukowski

Edited January 25, 2006 by EleCivil

[Dio]

A couple random ones I hear from time to time come to mind:

 

"Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

 

"Long ago when men cursed and beat the earth with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

 

"Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it anyways."

 

and my all time favorite that applies to my everyday labs...

 

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. "

 

- Thomas Edison

[JamesSavik]

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

 

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?

 

Scotch, scotch, scotch: I love scotch.

-Ron Burgendy

 

Reality is for people that can't handle drugs.

 

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

-Jim Morrison

 

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

-A. Huxley

 

Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors

-A. Huxley

 

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

-Einstien

 

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

-George Burns

 

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

-Laing

[Adit]

From recent presidents...

 

"America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens."

-George W. Bush, Inaugural address, 2001

 

"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America."

-Bill Clinton

 

"I've been in politics long enough to expect criticism and hostility. But I was unprepared for the hatred I get from Christians. Why do Christians hate so much?"

-Bill Clinton

[Bev]

I like parties, but I don't like pinatas. Because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals.

- Demitri Martin

 

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

- Will Shriner

 

Such is life

- Last words of Ned Kelly before he was hanged

 

I love Australia. It's just like America but another country.

- Serena Williams at the Australian Open two weeks ago

 

Sanity is the last refuge for those who lack creativity

- Unknown

 

These are my principles and if you don't like them...I have others.

- Groucho Marx

 

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

- Abraham Lincoln

 

Imagine if there no hypothetical situations...

- John Mendosa

 

 

 

 

Bev

Edited January 25, 2006 by Bev

[AFriendlyFace]

LOL you really shouldn't get me started on quotes. Here's a few that come to mind quickly:

 

"Hope for the best, but expect the worst"

~ (I'm convinced I came up with independently, but apparently Mel Brooks got credit first )

 

I always like the one in my signature:

Resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die" ~unknown

 

Here's two I recently read, that I thought were amusing:

 

"I am not a Marxist!"

~Karl Marx (it seems that by the end of his life, in his opinion, his original idealogy had become perverted by his followers)

 

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest

~Denis Diderot (a little gory for my taste, and I hate neither monarchy nor religion that much, but I still like the quote)

 

Here's a few from songs I quite like:

 

Which mask will you wear today?

How 'bout the one with the pretty smile?

To you it's just another day, in a life you haven't lived in quite a while."

~Just another name by Lifehouse

 

"and I find it kinda funny,

I find it kinda sad,

that dreams in which I'm dying

are the best I've ever had"

~Mad world by Gary Jules (from the Donnie Darko soundtrack)

 

"I was drowning in a wave of ectasy tsu tsu tsunami"

~Tsunami by Prozzak (no disrespect meant to victims of the recent Tsunami, the song is much older and "tsunami" is actually a person, which of course adds considerably to wit of the song)

 

"I'm through with these pill that make me sit stil"

~Everything is alright by Motion City Soundtrack

 

(sorry I like this whole chunk of song alot, and it's better taken as a whole anyway)

 

I used my magic age as if it were a wand

 

And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond

 

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride

 

And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died

 

The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away

 

And only I am left on stage to end the play

 

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung

 

I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue

 

The time has come for me to pay for yesterday when I was young

~Yesterday When I Was Young written by Charles Aznavour (there's like a million covers, I personally like Eddie Arnold's the best, but Roy Clark's seems to be considered the "definitive", Shriley Bassey also had a good version.)

 

"[Here's] to sodomy, it's between God and me"

~La vie Boheme from the Rent soundtrack

 

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you've got buns, hun

~Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot

 

 

And here's a couple I made up myself awhile back:

 

"Reality is one of the last things I want to be in touch with."

~Me

 

"I "fell" asleep once, was horrible, I couldn't get up for like eight hours!"

~Me

Edited January 25, 2006 by AFriendlyFace

[Dio]

I love Australia. It's just like America but another country.

- Serena Williams at the Australian Open two weeks ago

 

Bev

 

Being a tennis person myself, this made me crack up all over again... hehe

[TheZot]

I like:

 

Age and guile beat youth and skill

 

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force. --Dorothy Parker

 

I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.

-- Groucho Marx

 

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

-- Groucho Marx

 

You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you

can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

-- Groucho Marx

 

There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him. If he says

"Yes" you know he is crooked.

-- Groucho Marx

 

And all sorts of short poetry by Dorothy Parker, one of the most amusingly vicious poets I've ever come across.

[rknapp]

The only thing you have to fear is silence from those who scare you the most.

 

 

I made that up, but there are probably many variants of it floating around.

[xander]

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind"

Ghandi

 

"I may not agree with a word you say but I defend to the death your right to say it"

Voltaire

 

"If a bandaid, Tylenol (even tho I'm against all drugs), or duct tape can't fix it, you've got a serious problem"

Unknown

 

"Profit is not a four letter word, but rape is against the law"

Unknown

 

 

Plus theres a bunch more that I have, but the good one's aren't coming to mind right now.

[Adit]

Since Voltaire and Ghandi have been opened...

 

"God created sex. Priests created marriage."

- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

 

"Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too."

-Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

 

"Hate the sin, love the sinner."

-Mahatma Gandhi

 

And an unknown...

 

"Nothing has meaning until it changes what we think and who we are."

[shadows]

Dorothy Parker, oh so brilliant. Another female who if she wasn't dead, and I wasn't gay, I'd be in love with.

 

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea;

And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

And I am Marie of Romania.

 

These are too long to cite directly but are well worth the 10 seconds to read. Check out Resume & "One Perfect Rose"

 

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." - John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987

 

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." -- last words of General John Sedgwick (1864)

 

And as I continue to masterfully procrastinate on my homework...

 

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

[Gregoire]

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer

 

Makaveli

 

If I don't correct you, Skrmetti will hunt me down, and I can't have that. I have to study.

 

His name is Machiavelli (and if he were born in the 20th or 21st century he'd be Nick too).

Oh and my favorite quotes are:

 

Boys will be boys.

--The hell if I know

 

Boys and their toys...

--Another blank

 

Bend over that table...and plug in my computer, I have files to pull up.

--Mrs. Adams

 

If you don't do better next time, I'll kiss you.

--Skrmetti

 

Will you and your girlfriend...and...boyfriend stop flirting?

--Mrs. Colins

 

All done,

--Greg.

[NickolasJames8]

I knew I was spelling it wrong, but I was actually quoting Makavelli the rapper, AKA 2Pac. But I was aware he didn't say it first

 

Ok, here's one..........

"I don't say only God can judge me because I see things clear, as quick as crackers want to give my black ass a hundred years"_Curtis Jackson

 

Sunny Days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain. Joy would feel so good if it wasn't for pain. Death's got to be easy because life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally and emotionally scarred._Curtis Jackson

[Ganymede]

"When [he] kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you...it's overwhelming."

 

--Anonymous

 

I love this quote. It's one of my all time favorites.

[Gregoire]

I knew I was spelling it wrong, but I was actually quoting Makavelli the rapper, AKA 2Pac. But I was aware he didn't say it first

 

Ok, here's one..........

"I don't say only God can judge me because I see things clear, as quick as crackers want to give my black ass a hundred years"_Curtis Jackson

 

Sunny Days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain. Joy would feel so good if it wasn't for pain. Death's got to be easy because life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally and emotionally scarred._Curtis Jackson

 

I've so got that beat (because I made this a competition):

 

I like eggs

--Debbie from the Amanda Show

 

--Greg.

--Gregory Bell.

[NickolasJames8]

I've so got that beat (because I made this a competition):

 

I like eggs

--Debbie from the Amanda Show

 

--Greg.

--Gregory Bell.

Your mammy your pappy that bitch you're chasing. Your little dirty ass kids, I'll f**king erase them_ Curtis Jackson talking to Jefferry Adkins

 

When that window rolls down and that AK comes out you can squeeze your little hangun until you run out. You can run for your back up, but the machine gun shells will tear your back up. God's on your side? Well, shit, Im alright with that, because we're going to reload this clip and be right back....Don't think you're safe because you moved out the hood because your mama's still around dog, and that aint good. If you were smart you'd me shook of me, because I'll get tired of looking for you, spray your mama's house and let your ass look for me _Curtis Jackson, talking to Jefferry Adkins

[Gregoire]

Your mammy your pappy that bitch you're chasing. Your little dirty ass kids, I'll f**king erase them_ Curtis Jackson talking to Jefferry Adkins

 

When that window rolls down and that AK comes out you can squeeze your little hangun until you run out. You can run for your back up, but the machine gun shells will tear your back up. God's on your side? Well, shit, Im alright with that, because we're going to reload this clip and be right back....Don't think you're safe because you moved out the hood because your mama's still around dog, and that aint good. If you were smart you'd me shook of me, because I'll get tired of looking for you, spray your mama's house and let your ass look for me _Curtis Jackson, talking to Jefferry Adkins

 

oops, i did it again.

--Brittany Spears

 

"My Humps"

 

What you gon’ do with all that junk?

All that junk inside your trunk?

I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

 

I drive these brothers crazy,

I do it on the daily,

They treat me really nicely,

They buy me all these icies.

Dolce & Gabbana,

Fendi and NaDonna

Karan, they be sharin’

All their money got me wearin' fly

But I ain’t askin,

They say they love my ass ‘n,

Seven Jeans, True Religion's,

I say no, but they keep givin’

So I keep on takin’

And no I ain’t taken

We can keep on datin’

I keep on demonstrating.

 

My love, my love, my love, my love

You love my lady lumps,

My hump, my hump, my hump,

My humps they got u,

She’s got me spending.

(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.

She’s got me spendin’.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

 

What you gon’ do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

What u gon’ do with all that ass?

All that ass inside them jeans?

I’m a make, make, make, make you scream

Make u scream, make you scream.

Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

 

I met a girl down at the disco.

She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.

I could be your baby, you can be my honey

Let's spend time not money.

I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,

Milky, milky cocoa,

Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

 

They say I’m really sexy,

The boys they wanna sex me.

They always standing next to me,

Always dancing next to me,

Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.

Lookin’ at my lump, lump.

U can look but you can’t touch it,

If you touch it I'ma start some drama,

You don’t want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

So don’t pull on my hand boy,

You ain’t my man, boy,

I’m just tryn’a dance boy,

And move my hump.

 

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.

My lovely lady lumps (lumps)

My lovely lady lumps (lumps)

My lovely lady lumps (lumps)

In the back and in the front (lumps)

My lovin’ got u,

She’s got me spendin’.

(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.

She’s got me spendin’.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

 

What you gon’ do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

What you gon’ do with all that ass?

All that ass inside them jeans?

I’ma make, make, make, make you scream

Make you scream, make you scream.

What you gon do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,

Get you love drunk off this hump.

What you gon’ do wit all that breast?

All that breast inside that shirt?

I’ma make, make, make, make you work

Make you work, work, make you work.

 

She’s got me spendin’.

Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me

She’s got me spendin’.

Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

 

Just give up! I win.

--Greg.

[Gregoire]

My real favorite quotes (yes, that means I lied)

 

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

 

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

 

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

The Catcher in the Rye, J. D. Salinger

[NickolasJames8]

oops, i did it again.

--Brittany Spears

 

"My Humps"

 

What you gon