*Sneak Peek* I wish I was a bird work in progress.

[scotty94]

If anyone has read my stuff you may have notice I have weird connection with gay themed coming of age stories, I tend to write in that genres along with the setting in schools to create the amazing and innocent feeling of first love and discovering that special someone, and this story I am two chapters in but not currently posted is a good insight in to first love and coming together through times of hardship. I wish Ii was bird was inspired when I was gazing out of the window thinking about my first love I'll post the first chapter here  and I'll wait on your feedback.

 

I wish I was a bird

 

Chapter 1

 

Greenfinch

 

Her brown and green feathers rustled in the wind as she leaped from tree to tree making large spirals in the air, suddenly dropping and picking herself up, it was like she was getting dizzy landing and the taking off again. The beat of her wings strong and powerful, the way she rides the winds was like a dance, she would land and take off again dancing. I thought to myself I wonder what it would be like to be a bird flying to anywhere and everywhere gliding through the sky not having a care in the world. But that’s just a dream never in a million years will I be able to fly, have wings or feathers.

 

*

 

My name is Patrick Milestone a young, good looking, fourteen year old boy, my whole life ahead of me a bright future; well that’s what they think.

 

I have problems I can’t solve, feeling I can’t help. My tuff exterior covers up the pain and loneliness on the inside. Which confuses me every day who am I, where do I come from, why do I have these feeling I can’t understand.

You may think this is normal for a fourteen year old but what I don’t get is what my life at this moment.

 

My parents don’t give a shit about me, a difficult home life, I have a selected few friends and being gay doesn't help. I look happy on the outside but believe me on the inside is a completely different story.

 

I wish I could be a bird so I could fly away from all the pain and suffering I endure on a day to day basis. Please help me, take me away from all this pain and misery.

 

*

 

My favourite place on this whole planet has to be at Summerfield’s bird watching club.

 

With all the crap I go through on a day to day basis, there are only a few places I love to visit, where I can feel safe and secure, the club is a small establishment just out of London, very popular due to the large array of birds and events that you can go and see every year.

 

I am involved with one of the groups that meet once a month called junior birdwatcher. I enjoy being in the group because I can learn a lot of interesting and fascinating facts about birds, and we go on trips to some of the most amazing places and especially our annual Birdwatcher’s Gala.

 

On the last trip I went on with the group, I didn't just watch the birds I watched the cutest boy in the whole wide world.

 

He goes by the name of Casper Mcpartland, he is a quiet and very shy person who kept to himself and didn't get involved much with group activities. He would wake up in the mornings and flee to the woods with a sketch pad, camera and binoculars in hand, and not be seen for hours.

 

*

 

The first day I met Casper, I was getting kind of bored just hanging around the camp site all day, so I decided to take a walk in the woods.

 

About ten minutes in to the walk I came across a slow moving river and was thinking I would have a little rest and take some pictures of the birds I saw.

 

My first stop by the river gave me little or no decent pictures at all, I got up and walked further down the river then stopped again, which I got more then I bargained for.

 

I was gazing up and down the glistening river when I spotted a Grey Heron in the middle of the river standing on one leg, I decided to snap a picture of it, I got a decent picture but when the flash spooked the heron it flew off.

 

Gutted I couldn't take any more picture I continued with my walk, as I was walking I came across a very upset boy, when he saw my camera he started crying and said to me, ‘Why did you do that? I was just about to start drawing him; you could have turned the flash off its daytime.’ The boy said turning and walking away from me.

 

Feeling bad about what had happened I ran up to him, ‘Sorry about that, I thought the flash on my camera was off and I didn't know you were here. Sorry  I'm Patrick by the way, if you can come with me to the village shop tomorrow I will give you the developed picture as compensation.’ I said whilst smiling at the boy.

 

The boy looked at me and said, ‘No that’s okay I have other pictures of a Heron and I took one also.’ Looking more relaxed he handed me his sketch book and said, ‘The pictures are in here, and I'm Casper Hargreaves.’

 

I took hold of his sketch book and began flicking through it and stared in awe.

 

What I saw were some amazing, lifelike and perfect pictures of birds some in colour and others in just pencil. My favourite one was on the first page. A close up of a robin standing on a wall speckled with snow.

 

When Casper saw my reaction to the picture, he said, ‘That’s my favourite aswell, it took me forever to finish that.’

As I passed the sketch book back to Casper I said, ’There amazing, where did you learn to draw like that?’

 

‘I don’t know I just have a talent for drawing it comes natural to me, like scaring off birds comes natural to you.’ Casper said whilst laughing.

 

After a few more minutes of talking we went our separate ways, but as I walked off I couldn't help but take a backwards glance at Casper.

 

*

 

On the final night of the trip I approached Casper and said, ‘Casper I was thinking early tomorrow morning, do you want to come and take some picture of the birds in the valley before we have to leave?’

 

Casper swallowed what he was eating and said, ‘Yer okay but you will have to wake me up, I don’t do early mornings my cabin is number five. I will leave the door unlatched so just walk in and shake me awake.’

 

‘Cool will do.’ I smiled at him and walked off to have a kick about with the other group members before I decided to go to bed.

 

*

 

I woke at four AM just as the sun was rising above the trees, I jumped out of bed, kicked off my pyjamas and pulled on my clothes grabbed my camera. The headed towards Casper cabin.

 

I reached Casper cabin opened the door and flicked on the light. Looking around I thought to myself, Casper has kept this cabin tidy mine is a mess. I shook Casper awake and tried not to stare at his perky round bum as he dropped his pyjama bottoms to the floor. After he had finished getting dressed, he grabbed his camera, binoculars and sketch pad and we headed to the valley.

 

As we entered the valley it was empty but still buzzing with wildlife and animals, which was another thing I loved about this country and planet, a large diverse range of beautiful and special wildlife, something we as a nation much treat with respect and passion.

 

After a good hour of taking pictures and Casper sketching we sat down back to back on a tree stump and began chatting.

 

‘So Casper where are you from then?’

 

‘Camden in London. What about you?’ answered Casper.

 

‘Hackney.’

 

‘So you’re pretty close to me then, just a train ride away.’ This was said with enthusiasm in his voice.

 

‘Yer pretty close.’

 

When talking to Casper, I found myself staring in to his eyes every time I was talking to him. I knew what it was about but it was still confusing to me, I knew I was gay but I still didn't feel comfortable coming out to anyone, as you would probably say I was still in the closet.

 

*

 

We made our way back to camp, and we had just enough time to pack up our cabin before breakfast.

 

After we had finished eating and cleared the camp we were back on the bus and on our way back to London.

 

Whilst heading back to London I asked Casper for his e-mail address and phone number. Which he gladly gave me, when the bus came to a stop I gave him a firm handshake.  Then jumped off the bus retrieved my bags, and with a small wave I began the short walk back to my hell on earth

[Trebs]

The plot is nice but the story really needs a good editor. Small case in point: you change Casper's last name... Keep at the story but really made sure it's edited well :-)

[scotty94]

thanks for the feedback ill take it into account and improve it.

[Sasha Distan]

My name is Patrick Milestone a young, good looking, fourteen year old boy,

 

 

Bland characterisation sentences such as this put off lots of readers. you cannot tell your readers everything about a person in one sentence, so don' try. 

 

Do we need to know his last name right now? Do we need to know exactly how old he is? Why does it matter, at this moment, that he's good looking?

[scotty94]

thanks for the feedback like I said before I'll take everything in to account work on it and improve but thanks for the feedback.