Red Running Shoes by Aditus

[Aditus]

I asked around and there was interest in chatting some more about my story 'Red Running Shoes'  .

 

Description:

Come meet quirky, irrational, impulsive Jonah, who sometimes runs when life gets too much for him. This time he is in Sicily, Italy. What else? Oh yes. He talks to Zach, his imaginary friend in his laptop, collects people who want to take care of him, and possessive, manipulative boyfriends.

 

When I read about food or music in stories I sometimes want to listen to the songs or try out the recipe. I thought there may be others like me, so I'll attach links to songs and dishes mentioned to each chapter .

 

 

Prologue and the first two chapters are posted. Next chapter will have two time lines: the journal timeline and the Sicily timeline

 

I'm always curious to hear your thoughts, ideas, suggestions, critique.

 

[Irritable1]

I wanted a forum in which to praise Jonah further for his noble restraint in dealing with the sickeningly sweet Eric & Chris.   I mean, maybe it was necessary to drive the truth home, but yikes. I can see that Jonah'd need to force himself through the process to prove to himself that he can deal but... yikes. 

[Aditus]

I wanted a forum in which to praise Jonah further for his noble restraint in dealing with the sickeningly sweet Eric & Chris.   I mean, maybe it was necessary to drive the truth home, but yikes. I can see that Jonah'd need to force himself through the process to prove to himself that he can deal but... yikes. 

I'm sure under normal circumstances Jonah would have liked to say, "Get a room, guys." or something like that. But because he thought he had to prove something, to himself and to others, he did not. What people endure to prove something....

[Aditus]

Next chapter of RRS is up: Running Light

 

Jonah finally arrives in Sicily.

[Irritable1]

Hmmm. So Jonah's exerted quite a powerful effect on Ren at this point already, huh? I hope Ren shows some vulnerability at some point... seems like Jonah might respond better to that. 

[Aditus]

It seems someone has a steep learning curve to manage. Or sometwo? (Yes, yes I know, no real word.) Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[Irritable1]

 "I will hunt you down, Valentine." 

 

Edit: ok, now I'm imagining candy hearts that say COWARD and YOU'RE SUCH A GIRL 

Edited October 5, 2014 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

 "I will hunt you down, Valentine." 

 

Edit: ok, now I'm imagining candy hearts that say COWARD and YOU'RE SUCH A GIRL 

 

Or maybe with red running shoes with wings?

[Aditus]

Now I'm thinking about drawing them.

 

I'm glad nobody is complaining about the time line hopping. Thank you to Cole who had some good ideas to clear this up.

[Irritable1]

He got a TATTOO for someone who refuses to talk to him longer than a few sentences? Ren certainly does take the long view. 

 

.... wait... wait wait wait.  Did Eric's name change to Mark?  Who is Mark?

 

Edit: Ren boinked Thingy while Jonah had run away to Canada due to Thingy's cheating and he's surprised Jonah throws him out of the apartment? WTF???

Edited October 11, 2014 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

Ahh dammit! Ooops, sorry. I knew this would happen one day. I changed Mark into Eric, because I didn't want the name/character to get mixed up with Mark from 'Four Perspectives'. He was the bad guy there too. I might have something against the name Mark. Hmmm.

 

Maybe Ren didn't know about Jonah back then?

[Irritable1]

All the Marks I've ever known have been incredibly meek and mild.

 

I'm trying to sort it out in my head. Suppose you have a relationship with someone who cheated on their ex with other people, right after the ex runs away. And then you wind up pumping them for information on the ex re: breakfast preferences. Wouldn't it come out at some point why they were in Canada? Is Thingy that much of a coward that he wouldn't have told Ren?

 

Edit: I suppose it could go either way. But gosh, now I feel so sorry for both Ren and Jonah.

Edited October 11, 2014 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

If I tell you more...let's see chapter 9 I believe. Just think of a larger time frame. Ren gets to know ERIC, they don't  need to have a relationship necessarily , he doesn't know anything about Jonah, then LATER hears the whole Jonah-Eric story, uhm, yes...

[Irritable1]

Ren does say "together for two months" near the end. But he says he had them with Mark 

 

Honestly it makes sense that ERIC wouldn't have shared that little detail with Ren at the time.  And it would explain a little bit why Ren seems a bit insensitive to Jonah's feelings about it all--that he didn't know the ego hit it was to him when they broke up? whatever, I'm having a good time reading so I don't care.  Did Jonah run away to Sicily because he finally figured out who Dove is?  I can't wait to find out.

 

Thank you for the chocolate pudding!

[Aditus]

Okay. Next chapter of Red Running Shoes is up. Ready for some 'Dirty Dancing'?

[Timothy M.]

I'm having a great time ranting at Eric, Chris and Ren in the reviews.

I'm all for Jonah running as fast as possible from Ren, who so far (ch 1-3) has been an insufferable smug bastard. And yes I know he did a couple of nice things in ch 4, but he can just take his unrequited dove love and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

 

Oh and I found the last Mark mistake at the beginning of ch 4:

I mean it’s not exactly a secret that Chris has been pining for Mark for months. 

Edited October 19, 2014 by Timothy M.

[Irritable1]

 

 

 he can just take his unrequited dove love

 

 

I will point out, very gently and modestly and not at all as if I was recently proven right about an entirely different character which could of course be entirely irrelevant  , that Jonah doesn't really love anyone, does he? Even when Ren asked how he wanted to be wooed, he said, HE wanted to woo. And if he wasn't the wooer, then he wanted to be told that someone else wanted to fuck him. But he hasn't wooed anyone since Eric, as far as the story tells us. And unless he's taking sexual advantage of people who have crushes on him like Michael, he's not doing anything.  

 

So while Ren definitely wouldn't float my boat, it's kind of questionable whether someone less aggressive would make any emotional headway with Jonah, as sweet as he is.

Edited October 19, 2014 by Irritable1

[Timothy M.]

Oh I know they are 'meant for each other' and all that, but I'll keep cheering for Jonah running away, and I'm fine with Ren having no luck for a long while yet. You'll get your HEA in the end, so let me enjoy my ranting until then, LOL.

[Daddydavek]

Jonah will have to grow up and face life sooner or later.  By that time, all the people who were interested may be interested in someone else....

 

Zach is alright but he is not the kind to snuggle up to at night or to take the chill off.

[Irritable1]

 

 

Oh I know they are 'meant for each other' and all that

 

Well, come on, the poor guy's got the tattoo and everything now...   although a dove is fairly non-committal if it doesn't work out.  What I find particularly amusing is that Ren has essentially tattooed himself into a corner: there's absolutely no possibility of starting a physical relationship without its being 100% full-on. Jonah has to be happy with the idea of a tattoo-level commitment before the shirt comes off, because otherwise he'll freak out. Poor Ren    Edit: Oh, AND he has to woo Jonah while being apparently unfaithful to his dove boyfriend. Tee hee hee.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Irritable1

[Timothy M.]

Jonah has to be happy with the idea of a tattoo-level commitment before the shirt comes off, because otherwise he'll freak out. Poor Ren    Edit: Oh, AND he has to woo Jonah while being apparently unfaithful to his dove boyfriend. Tee hee hee.

 

Oh Irri, I absolutely love the irony of that, and I can see Jonah run even faster in a major freak, when he finds out. Or he may fold on the spot and realize he's wanted Ren all along, but denied it due to clinging to the lost cause of Eric.

But the first option will be more fun.

[Aditus]

Very nice, please do continue. I love it. Ren could always wear a fashionable scarf...although he isn't a scarf type of guy, is he?

[Irritable1]

Unless of course, Ren apologizes for the bathroom incident by explaining that he was distraught over Dove's callous treatment of him... Edit:and they broke up, can Jonah not comfort him?

 

Addy, I suppose they could keep it in the pitch dark all the time. Like Cupid and. Psyche. Actually, wait. No, no, im wrong!  Unless the tattoo is identifying, Ren is ok... Until he comes clean.

 

Edit2: ok, too sleepy to keep up with all these convolutions any more.  Great chapter, Addy!

Edited October 20, 2014 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

Jonah will have to grow up and face life sooner or later.  By that time, all the people who were interested may be interested in someone else....

 

Zach is alright but he is not the kind to snuggle up to at night or to take the chill off.

Now I can't get rid of the picture of Jonah snuggling Zach. Ouch! You're right though, sooner or later he has to grow up, take a step back and get a grip of his impulsiveness and general drama.

[Timothy M.]

You're right though, sooner or later he has to grow up, take a step back and get a grip of his impulsiveness and general drama.

 

Why? I like him the way he is, and I didn't expect to !

But I guess Jonah isn't really happy about his life the way it is now. So if he listened to a real and sensible and kind friend (why is it only Michael's name springs to mind?), especially about  Ren being in to him, he might end up not having to run anymore. And since he does seem worried about running away (unless that's because everyone tells him it's wrong), then it may be better if he got over it.

Yet it was so funny when he ran away from Ren and Steve. That may be my favorite moment so far.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Timothy M.