ISO a Beta - One time I believe

[comicfan]

Hi,

 

I never intended to expand on the original Day in the Life of a Seer but it has happened. KC did it all originally, but the man is busy as heck and I need a good beta. If you read the first one great but each chapter is sort of stand alone so not necessary.

 

Needed - I need a beta who can read through and tell me where I need more detail, where I went over board, where I might need to explain something differently so it makes sense. If you spot spelling mistakes great, but I intend to use my usual editor and he has no problems with the nitty gritty stuff. What I need from you is any suggestions to make this piece as a lively and believable as possible, even though the story is sort of science fiction.

 

It is going to be chapter two labeled as The Wedding.

Number of words - 4,213

Written in - Word 7

Corrections - Usually in comment or track changes so I can see what was done. If you are suggesting changes of more or less I really like comments so I know why you feel that way.

 

Sample of the story -

 

I sat in the corner of my couch, breathing in the heavenly aroma of my morning coffee and waiting for the phone to ring. I could almost count it down in my head, in five, in four, in three, in two, in … Ring.

                “Calm down Tabby. Your veil is in the bottom of the bag, under the wedding dress.”

                I could see the look she was giving me in my mind. God, Tabitha was so like our mother sometimes and I knew her too well. The damn visions only helped to make it clearer to me than it already was.

                “You know the fact that you got Mom’s powers still irks the shit out of me.”

                She should only realize how much of a joy it was for me. I knew unfortunately that she was just nervous and was eternally grateful this didn’t end up in her lap.

                “Right. Anytime you want them Tabby, just tell me how to give them to you.”

                “Ugh. Sometimes you are such a pain in the ass.”

                Sisters, love them or not they are with you till you die, or if you are the seer in the family maybe beyond that. Tabitha was going to have a really beautiful wedding and she would look completely stunning in the dress her best friend had created just for her. I might be an ass but even I could admit when my sister looked good.

                I looked across the room to where my gray tuxedo hung waiting for me to get dressed.

                “Tom, just tell me that this isn’t a mistake.”

                I could hear the nervousness in her voice. My older sister never got nervous but I guess there is a first time for everything.

                “Look, Tabby nothing in life is perfect. You and Marcos will have good times and bad times. The thing is, if you want it, this is going to be a good thing for you.”

 

Any questions feel free to contact me.

 

Thanks in advance,

Wayne

Edited March 21, 2015 by comicfan
Forgot some important info. d'oh