How to learn how to love.

[MythOfHappiness]

Hi guys. MoH here. So, a little backstory. I am currently embroiled in a torrid love affair with my gardener, Jesus and his brother Paulo. The three of us make sweet, sweet love in the pool shed whenever my mother is away on one of her European jaunts. And now that I have your attention, I am actually in a long-term relationship with a man who is much older and more experienced than myself. He is my first everything. I was raised in a small town in Oklahoma and there wasn't much opportunity for a young gay man to date or really experience anything aside from the palm of my hand and the occasional gay film watched with headphones so that my family couldn't hear (not that kind, though there was some of that as well). You could say I went into this relationship blind and have been learning as I go along. My question is, how do I learn how to love (something a straight person does at age 16) as a 19 year old grown man? I feel like I missed out on some kind of crucial growing period by waiting to have my first kiss until I was 18. Sometimes I feel like it is downright cruel to my partner when I make some stupid mistake or treat him poorly simply because I never learned anything different. Do you all have any tips on how to learn how love is supposed to work without doing more unnecessary harm to my innocent boyfriend? Thank you.

[Mikiesboy]

You should talk to your man.

 

You say he's older and experienced. He must know that you're not.

I smile because i think I was about 22 when I was kissed by someone who cared about me. When doesn't matter. Only that it did.

 

Talk to your man. Trust him with your fears and your hopes.

 

I've learned that love is one-day-at-a-time. Love is trusting and sharing with your partner.

 

Love is honest and open communication. And that take time and practice.

 

best of luck

[cognac69]

3 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

You should talk to your man.

 

You say he's older and experienced. He must know that you're not.

I smile because i think I was about 22 when I was kissed by someone who cared about me. When doesn't matter. Only that it did.

 

Talk to your man. Trust him with your fears and your hopes.

 

I've learned that love is one-day-at-a-time. Love is trusting and sharing with your partner.

 

Love is honest and open communication. And that take time and practice.

 

best of luck

 

That's good advice from @Mikiesboy, all I would add is be patient with yourself and don't put yourself under pressure and enjoy your relationship.

 

all the best of luck for the future.

[AC Benus]

10 hours ago, MythOfHappiness said:

Hi guys. MoH here. So, a little backstory. I am currently embroiled in a torrid love affair with my gardener, Jesus and his brother Paulo. The three of us make sweet, sweet love in the pool shed whenever my mother is away on one of her European jaunts...

yeah - great attention grabber, but now you have chapter 1 of your first novel outlined  

 

Reading it reminded me of a fairly close episode in Felice Picano's Like People in History, and that is a fantastic book by a fantastic author. 

 

Now love...let's see....ooops. Ran out of room

[MythOfHappiness]

On 8/25/2018 at 2:26 PM, AC Benus said:

yeah - great attention grabber, but now you have chapter 1 of your first novel outlined  

 

Reading it reminded me of a fairly close episode in Felice Picano's Like People in History, and that is a fantastic book by a fantastic author. 

 

Now love...let's see....ooops. Ran out of room

Those pesky character limits. Always getting in the way of things and making it so that you can't finish your t

[Solivagant]

On 8/25/2018 at 9:20 AM, Mikiesboy said:

You should talk to your man.

 

You say he's older and experienced. He must know that you're not.

I smile because i think I was about 22 when I was kissed by someone who cared about me. When doesn't matter. Only that it did.

 

Talk to your man. Trust him with your fears and your hopes.

 

I've learned that love is one-day-at-a-time. Love is trusting and sharing with your partner.

 

Love is honest and open communication. And that take time and practice.

 

best of luck

Excellent advice! Communication is always the key.