[NickolasJames8] Bodega Bay 1-9

[Xiao_Chun]

Chapter 9.

 

This chapter was supposed to be heart lifting, optimistic. But for some reason I was sad while reading it. The chapter describes a perfect quality time between Kevin and his dad. But we know that this perfect day comes after his dad accused him in molesting his stepbrother, and mercilessly rejecting Kevin when he was abused and was looking for shelter. When I was reading this chapter I was anticipating another heartbreak or emotional abuse. It didn

[Boxerdude]

Chapter 9.

 

This chapter was supposed to be heart lifting, optimistic. But for some reason I was sad while reading it. The chapter describes a perfect quality time between Kevin and his dad. But we know that this perfect day comes after his dad accused him in molesting his stepbrother, and mercilessly rejecting Kevin when he was abused and was looking for shelter. When I was reading this chapter I was anticipating another heartbreak or emotional abuse. It didn

[AFriendlyFace]

Hey Everyone!

 

Awesome chapter!

 

Once again I loved how it started out with Kevin recounting an experience from his childhood that was relevant to the events taking place. I also enjoyed how as soon as it was mentioned that the liver was placed in an ice chest without ice the reasoning behind this was explained. I had actually briefly paused to consider it myself, so I thought it was funny when I got back to reading and it was promptly explained.

 

I also thought it was very interesting that Nick spent a great deal of time explaining the events before and after the fishing trip, but not as much on the actual trip. It really drove home the point that the actual fishing wasn

Edited September 8, 2006 by AFriendlyFace

[Xiao_Chun]

Hey Everyone!

 

Awesome chapter!

 

Once again I loved how it started out with Kevin recounting an experience from his childhood that was relevant to the events taking place. I also enjoyed how as soon as it was mentioned that the liver was placed in an ice chest without ice the reasoning behind this was explained. I had actually briefly paused to consider it myself, so I thought it was funny when I got back to reading and it was promptly explained.

 

Oh Kevin, I love those flashbacks. Maybe this will sound wired to you but when I read this story I feel like I'm watching a movie. In some of my favorite movies the plot is not progressing linearly, but there are jumps back and forth in time (for example in Quentin Tarantino's movies).

 

When I was reading the beginning of chapter 5, when Kevin saw his father and had a flood of emotions, I was wondering if any kid actor could act this scene. My candidate was Haley Joel Osment when he was 11 (he played in the Sixt'th Sense when he was 11). It is almost impossible to act what Nick described in that scene; the conflicting emotions of happiness, fear of rejection, the agony of betrayal.

 

After reading this story I started wondering if Nick likes movies and wants to be in the movie industry when he grows up.

 

Hugs,

Michael.

[Boxerdude]

Oh Kevin, I love those flashbacks. Maybe this will sound wired to you but when I read this story I feel like I'm watching a movie. In some of my favorite movies the plot is not progressing linearly, but there are jumps back and forth in time (for example in Quentin Tarantino's movies).

 

When I was reading the beginning of chapter 5, when Kevin saw his father and had a flood of emotions, I was wondering if any kid actor could act this scene. My candidate was Haley Joel Osment when he was 11 (he played in the Sixt'th Sense when he was 11). It is almost impossible to act what Nick described in that scene; the conflicting emotions of happiness, fear of rejection, the agony of betrayal.

 

After reading this story I started wondering if Nick likes movies and wants to be in the movie industry when he grows up.

 

Hugs,

Michael.

 

 

Hey Michael,

 

I agree with you too. Those flash backs are great. Nick did tell me that he loves this style of writting and is working on making it better. I had to ask him one time because a chapter confussed me. It started in the future, (when his grandparents arrived the first time), that is when he explained what he was doing and he really enjoyed it. And yes, I could imagine it would be hard for a kid to do the acting but I like your choice.

 

He would be great writing for movies though, he does have quite a style about him. Can't for 10 to be posted!!

 

Have a great day!

 

Hugs,

 

David

[swoop67]

I really like how he starts each chapter out differently. That really makes it interesting to see what comes next.

 

Looking forward to more chapters.

 

Bret

[TalonRider]

Some thing to remember, when it comes to court proceedings, they can take awhile. It took me something like 11 months to get a gun back from the County Coronor. For one reason or another, it kept getting postponed a lot. In Kevin's case, the investigation could still be going on.

 

One way to get the word around is by word of mouth. I have a friend who will ask me from time to time if I've ready anything good.

[ex52tech]

I really like how he starts each chapter out differently. That really makes it interesting to see what comes next.

 

 

I like that too. I have thought about writing something, then I read a story like this and think "well maybe not".

Your ability to convey the characters thoughts and feelings is incredible, you leave no stone unturned.

 

I read this story from start to present this morning, I know and feel every emotion that Kevin has and why, I'm very impressed.

 

I would like to see the matter of Kevins step brothers abuse covered though, the fact that Kevin was abused by Bill, might lead to his dad believing that Kevin would do the same thing to his step bro. In many cases people that were abused do abuse others for many different reasons, or was it a fabrication by Kevin's step mother just to keep him away. It has put up a wall between Kevin and his dad that was built with lies.

 

Excellent story Nick, I hope it doesn't end soon.

 

Ex.

[Razor]

Hiya Nick!

 

I started reading... it's nothing like I was expecting, to tell the truth. I'm enjoying it, but I'm really hoping it goes the way I want it to. If it doesn't, I may be forced to pull a Misery on you, burn the original copy, and force you to rewrite it...

 

So, I'm on chapter eight, and it's great so far. Good job, I'm really liking it.

 

Jamie

[NickolasJames8]

Wow, guys...thanks for all the great comments.

 

Since you're seeing me post here, you've probably guessed that the last chapter's been written. This is my first time seeing these posts and I have to say that I'm really flattered and humbled. I know this topic only covers the first nine chapters, though, so I hope you guys enjoyed the whole story as much as I liked working on it.

As a lot of you know, this story started out as my Summer Anthology entry but grew into something bigger. Taylor and I worked on it together for about the first three chapters, then I took it all over and followed it through till the end. Thanks to everyone who's been reading this story, and I hope you enjoy chapter 30 when it's posted as much as you liked chapter one.