The Druid - Chapter 2

[DarkShadow]

I would like to hear your criticisms, opinions, etc here please. Also... please give your well wishes to my editor. He's ill, and with any luck will recover completely soon. So... on that note... any bad typo's, horrid grammar, and insane sentence structure are completely mine.

 

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

Shannon

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=177

[Conner]

The battle dance was so cool. :2hands: I always love to see the bullies get theirs. I must admit that I would have preferred to be more privy to the conversation between Ty's uncle and the principal. I enjoy first person stories, but sometimes ya miss out on stuff.

 

Ok, so my dictionary tells me that a druid is, "a member of a pre-Christian religious order among the ancient Celts of Gaul, Britain, and Ireland. " What's up with that, dude? Celtic is always cool, though.

 

I want more Doris!!! Great job, Shannon!

 

Conner

[DarkShadow]

The battle dance was so cool. :2hands: I always love to see the bullies get theirs. I must admit that I would have preferred to be more privy to the conversation between Ty's uncle and the principal. I enjoy first person stories, but sometimes ya miss out on stuff.

 

The story of the principle and the uncle will come to the readers in pieces. It's not really a major issue, but made it fun to let the reader wonder what exactly was said and what happened in the past.

 

 

Ok, so my dictionary tells me that a druid is, "a member of a pre-Christian religious order among the ancient Celts of Gaul, Britain, and Ireland. " What's up with that, dude? Celtic is always cool, though.

 

Don't like Druids? j/k

 

I want more Doris!!! Great job, Shannon!

 

Conner

 

She is a ray of sunshine isn't she lol!

[Camy]

I'm still signed on for the ride.

 

I loved the concept of having a 'shell' you can switch on, and I really liked Doris - a great character!

 

Roll on Chapter 3!

[DarkShadow]

I'm still signed on for the ride.

 

I loved the concept of having a 'shell' you can switch on, and I really liked Doris - a great character!

 

Roll on Chapter 3!

 

Thanks a lot Camy. It's good to hear I'm not wasting too much space here (so far). It was funny how this chapter popped out. For almost four days.. I had only completed two pages. Then, all of a sudden, ten pages in one day. I couldn't go to sleep... I had to keep my butt planted in front of that computer until I finally found a stopping point. (don't I wish all days were like that!)

 

Doris popped out of me like some twisted rotund hulk of a woman, and she cracked me up! Maybe some day (much later) lol I'll have to write 'The Cronicles of Doris - Lunch Lady'.

 

Take care!

[C James]

This was a good one! It flowed well IMHO, and the "battle Dance" was innovative and unique!

 

As for Doris: She's not exactly the most cheerful lady, is she?

 

Been as Connor likes her so much, I vote that we introduce them.

 

Seriously though, I like the development of subsidiary characters like Doris, it lends depth to a story IMHO.

[DarkShadow]

This was a good one! It flowed well IMHO, and the "battle Dance" was innovative and unique!

 

As for Doris: She's not exactly the most cheerful lady, is she?

 

Been as Connor likes her so much, I vote that we introduce them.

 

Seriously though, I like the development of subsidiary characters like Doris, it lends depth to a story IMHO.

 

Thanks much! I should have chapter 3 posted soon. My editor was out of town, but has let me know that he may have it to me today ... YAY!

 

Talk at you later!

[C James]

Thanks much! I should have chapter 3 posted soon. My editor was out of town, but has let me know that he may have it to me today ... YAY!

 

Talk at you later!

 

I'll keep an eye out! Thanks!

 

BTW, are you aiming for a specific country as a setting?

[DarkShadow]

I'll keep an eye out! Thanks!

 

BTW, are you aiming for a specific country as a setting?

 

Ahh sorry for the delay in answering this. I just noticed the message. It's in Middle America. Illinois. I grew up there so I know the feel of the place the best. The seasons are more dramatic there and I think it would be better for the story.

 

I've had another story screep into my mind, and I'm torn on whether to begin it or not. Actually, there are a few that have crept up on me. ER2 Exile (sequel to ER), Hustler's Road, The Mortar and the Pestal, and Superstition will be the titles... Right now I'm in the note taking stages.

 

The stories have a lot of promise until I screw them up! LOL (Isn't that always the way)

 

What do you do when you have so many stories whirling around in your mind, and not enough time to write them?

 

Any advice you could share on this? I dont' like to work on more than one story at a time, it seems to get confusing to me. Rewriting ER isn't very distracting being the material is already there. Creating two stories at the same time though, I don't know how that would go. I like my chapters out quick! lol I'm impatient.

 

Anyway... any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

[Graeme]

I'm coming in late on this thread, but I rarely get chances to read and I finally got caught up on the story tonight.

 

Well done! You've done a great job in ensuring there are no "dud" characters. Lots have mentioned Doris, but you've done a good job with the others, too. I can see they'll get fleshed out more over time.

 

Is it my imagination, or doesn't that school have any teachers that actually like to teach? Say, some fresh-faced student straight out of college in his/her first job?

 

Keep up the good work!

[sshsbandgeek]

Crazy Cafeateria ladies make every story better.

[WVSailor]

Looking forward to the next chapter....

Excellent!

[DarkShadow]

Thanks a lot for all of the kind words. My editor disappeared on me. I hope he's ok. My editor for Earth Reborn has taken over and I can't thank him enough. Things aren't moving as fast as I would like, but it's been a very nice slow down. I have company in from out of town.

 

Chapter 3 is out!

 

So, when ya get time have a go at it, and hopefully starting next week, I can get back into the swing of things.

 

Take care all and thanks again for feedback!

[Graeme]

For a change, I was able to read the new chapter without it being up for a week or so.

 

Well done! Ty is showing complexity, with his ingrained politeness mixing with anger at things that offend his sensibilities. I half-expected him to not go into the zoology room, but the way he handled it was very nice.

 

Keep up the good work!

[DarkShadow]

Thanks much Graeme. I'm trying to get better as I go. I'm having a lot of fun with this story. I'm hoping to get back on track soon after my company leaves. I'm having a good time while he's here though. It's been great.

 

I'll get back to work on revised versions of Earth Reborn and new chapters for The Druid soon. I can't wait to get back to it!

 

Thanks again for your kind words... hope to have more wok done soon!

 

Kudos to my editor Sterling Silver... he's a godsend!

 

Take care of you!

[C James]

I'll get back to work on revised versions of Earth Reborn and new chapters for The Druid soon. I can't wait to get back to it!

 

I am very much looking forward to them!! You have me hooked with "the Druid". Excellent!!!

 

Take care and best wishes;

CJ

[Graeme]

I've one suggestion to make -- change the name of this thread to "The Druid" so it's clear its about all the chapters, not just chapter 2.

[DarkShadow]

I've one suggestion to make -- change the name of this thread to "The Druid" so it's clear its about all the chapters, not just chapter 2.

 

Hmmm... I'm not sure I can. Or, if I can, I don't know how lol. I thought about that when I posted in this thread about chapter 3. I almost created a new thread, but kind of hate to muddy up the works. Maybe CJames could help us out here. I'll drop him a note tomorrow.

 

Right now.... I'm wicked tired.. Thank you for mentioning it though. I appreciate it.

 

Later!