Ashi

Stay safe. Gather all your pets inside with you and let out the unwanted relatives.

Yes, what Zombie said. Be positive.

Happy birthday, rustle!

There was a teleconference call from my district's congress woman, and anyone could ask the question about the shut down. Basically she wanted us to sign up for a petition for a public vote on the matter (and a showdown in congress between parties I think, she did mention it'll be bipartisan to get rid off Tea Party). I had to got off the phone because of a dinner event, but it's nice of her to hold such event. Many people asked questions. But anyways, I think politicians at DC just wanted to do this, so Fiscal Cliff would actually happen, therefore, completes the self-fulfilling prophecy. Wonder how many small businesses would be out because of this....

Happy Birthday, FC.

Is this your debutante? Very sexually charged I think. Nice poetical verses.

Did you watch the BBC mini-series based on the book? It's a very good one. I've never read the book, but I heard the book is more sexed.

Happy Birthday!!!

Sorry W_L.... This "right-ward" movement has already happened back in 1999.... There are many crossovers in both major U.S. political parties's history, and I am afraid this is not the GOP I signed up for many many years ago. Dubya's platform was already not the same platform us old-school Republicans believe in, and that's why a lot of us voted for Obama. But honestly, I couldn't see any difference between Obama's policy and Dubya's.... Just move on and take care of your grandma, without government help.... The government doesn't care about people anymore. Just vote them out. Once they know their drama has no effect on people, the government will clean up its own act. Remember what Thoreau said in Civil Disobedience. If the government is no longer doing its job (which is to protect its people), the people have every right to overthrow them. Now, that's the Republicanism I remember (which is no longer practiced by either party. And Tea Party is just a joke...). BTW, the whole fiscal cliff thing is a fabricated crisis. They could work together to alleviate the debt problem or they could make it a big deal and let the catastrophe happen on people, and then use it to blame to their opponents. Not saying such "pure politics" tactics has never happened before (and it happens in business boardrooms too). Just let you youngsters know some history.... the debt "crisis" was already talked about when I was in high school political science class back in 1995. Was there any fiscal cliff? (that term is new however, purely to make people panic. Panic tactic is a fallacious argument in critical thinking, btw) It probably led to the previous government shut down, but what really happened? Think about it. However, this time is the worse timing ever for government shut down. One more thing, democracy works best when there is no partisanship.

I think it's the government shut down. National Park Services website is having some weird javascript error that either makes the page display wrongly or it even crashed to the desktop once to me. BTW, since it's a government website, I am wondering about the availability of patient record to government. Patient privacy is protected under HIPPA, but once government is involved instead of a mere insurance company/health care provider relationship, I don't know what's the extend of shared information anymore.... (I am not suggestion they'll breach your privacy, but there is certainly more room for abuse).

Happy B!

7:34 am. Looking at this thread. Wondering if my experiment would work, or a major failure.

It looks like the phoenix is going to unmask yourself.... It's a nice drawing. Are you and the phoenix one entity?

I am going to be very direct and let you know why I put that last punch line in there. I wanted you to have a little moment of self-reflection. It seems you've already done that without me. So, let's move to the second step. Inevitably there will be another John coming to you later in life, and if you figured everything out, the awkward situation can end with a smile. Maybe the guy may even end up being your boyfriend.... LOL For a smart guy like you (and me..., come on, I need some praise, too. LOL), getting good grades is like everything to us (until we found our boyfriends, of course ). Don't let it slip like I did. I did this because I want your painful experience be as short as it can be, so you can go back to school without any emotional baggage to drag you down. Go get all A's and no drama. I quit one semester in school because in the middle of a pop quiz, I cried my eyes out and screwed up my quiz because I couldn't even complete it. That's the biggest waste of my time, now I think of it. Just a couple weeks into my long break, I wanted to go back to school badly, because school was my biggest distraction of life. I loved school. And getting good grades made me feel better. Gay people aren't born better people. We're better because we've gone through more. You'll become a better person after this. You're a phoenix, after all, right? And another thing I want to point out, look how many people came to support you. We are all behind you. I know there are more people who care, but don't know what to say. Come out when you're ready. Only you know your own schedule. Yes it'll be scary.... Or maybe it won't be (my own coming out wasn't scary, a major anti-climax... ). Sometimes a fall is inevitable, but ideally we want it to fall gracefully. So, take a tumble, or maybe a triple somersault, and keep your chin up when you land.

No, you're not alone on this, if that makes you feel better.... I think the world needs more tolerance, or some of us would be undergoing the same cycle again and again, and once you're older, you'll see younger people doing exactly the same thing you did. It's not a particular pleasant feeling. My grades slipped significantly when I was beginning to accept my own sexuality. And that acceptance triggered a lot of situations not too different from your confrontation with your friend. Sure, you accepted you are partly to blame but he is also to blame though you cannot change him. So just take some time to readjust yourself and what your sexuality means to you. I am still undergoing my metamorphosis, so to speak, and I believe lots of people here are also doing that. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be better. If you were given a chance to start it over, how would you handle the John situation better?

I just came back from SF because the government shut down, I couldn't even go to Fort Point anymore.... Was going to spend some money to stimulate the economy, sorry, I went home instead. Sometimes I feel our politicians are working for the foreign government to ruin our economy.... How much we pay these politicians again? Let's vote every single one of them out of the office this coming election.

Lucky you. Enjoy the great life ahead of you. Don't overwork.

Your score: 0 Gender: Male Age range: 30-39 Best score for your gender and age range: 0 Highest score for your gender and age range: 79999740 Well..., I am a photographer, and I am super anal about color accuracy in my photos.... Staring at my photos several hours a day better whip me into shape, not to mention my monitor is calibrated for color reproduction accuracy, so I do have the advantage. Though this is sort of a gradient test also. (TIP: you have to observe both the color tint and light gradient to sort them. Pre-sort them by color tint, then sort them by gradient) (x-Rite is a monitor calibration equipment company. I use their competitor's product though... Though I do use their white balance calibration gray card...).

Here is a look of Panasonic GX7. Video review, so gives a very good idea of what it is on the road. I swear I was checking out the camera..., not the reviewer. http://www.youtube.com/embed/3Zn9aJMcens

Most of Northern California highways are okay, but some needs expansion for more lanes. The worse however, is the Maze, that is, the interchange between I-80 (from San Francisco to east bay via super busy Bay Bridge!!!), I-880, I-580 (which goes to Central Valley, but also is the interconnect to I-680 to Sacramento), I-980 (which divides into CA-24). It's a very confusing place that requires extremely short distance merge if you got out from Berkeley via Ashby. If you are on the wrong lane, you'll get into the wrong freeway. If you got onto I-80, then you'd be d*mned..., enjoy the view on the longest bridge in the San Francisco Bay, and pay the toll, and then drive back to the Maze and try again (and hopefully you get it right the second try). I think it's five or six lanes on each side, and tons of signs make you information overload, and tons of cars merging dangerously. I had to drive from UC Berkeley (my brother studied there) to home in San Jose via I-880 a lot. I-880 is such a major freeway, but the sign from I-580 W/I-80 E to I-880 is so obscure, you may get onto I-980 instead, which is of course, completely different direction.... If you drive from I-880 to pass beyond Berkeley, now, you're in for a treat also. I-580 and I-80 after Emeryville is merged into one freeway for stupid federal funding reason. So it's one freeway with two names!!! To make it worse, I-580 West is the same as I-80 East. How can a freeway be both east bound and west bound at the same time, you ask.... Well..., it's a north bound highway, isn't it obvious??? (just check on google map and see what I mean). Anyways, it's I-80 East, because it's coming from San Francisco (via Bay Bridge, which is part of I-80), and I-580 West, coming from Central Valley (Livermore/Tracy). Absolutely no logic whatsoever considering it goes north.... Next time you go to Napa wine country in North Bay coming from South Bay via East Bay, remember to get on I-80 East/I-580 West.... Or please enjoy the view of the longest bridge in SF Bay that is the Bay Bridge, pay your toll, go to San Francisco, be congested on CA-1/US 101 (yes two names for one freeway again), and enjoy the modern wonder we call Golden Gate Bridge, and take the long route to Napa Valley. Yes, it's called the Maze....

Oh, then I think you're better served with a dedicated film camera. I find DSLRs for filming kind of limiting. Many film cameras are going to use m4/3 mount so maybe if you want a film camera, you probably should think about using m4/3 so you can share lenses later on. But then film lenses are very different from still photo lenses, as it needs to be parfocal (so you can zoom in without changing focus at the same time). Check if the lens is "Movie and Still Compatible" lenses. Canon is pushing 4K, so that's another consideration. So you're better off going either Canon or Panasonic (but Panasonic cameras can also use Olympus m4/3 lenses and other lens makers in m4/3 consortium, like Zeiss and Rodenstock, but those are multi-thousand dollars lenses...). Don't listen to the people on photographic sites who are f-number obsessed. Us landscape photographers want high image quality at small aperture and so is filming (which usually uses f/8 or smaller for contextual scenes, like characters having dialogues). One thing I like about 4/3 sensor is because I can shoot at f/5.6 (which is 4/3 sensor's optimal aperture) and get the depth of field of f/11 in 35mm format, but with the light gathering capability of f/5.6 (so I don't have to go to high ISOs). But 4/3 sensor has a weakness in high ISO, so it's not really a night scene camera.... I am not a fan of Canon (their lenses are either awful for standard grade or extremely expensive for their L-lenses), but it sounds to me Canon could be a good choice for you, since filming is more important (and Canon's AF is very fast, though filming uses MF mostly). It's not an easy choice. Every brand has its own weakness, so you have to pick which weakness you can tolerate. Panasonic's weakness is color reproduction (tone is too cool and too desaturated for me), but if you can do a good job in post-production and don't mind spend a lot of time on it, I guess Panasonic is okay (Panasonic is the leader in movie cameras after all). The upcoming Olympus Zuiko 12-40mm f/2.8 Pro lens is the one to think about, if you go m4/3. For a camera that fits your requirements but within tolerable budget, I think you should think about Canon 70D. Just don't buy kit lenses. Canon's kit lenses are the worst of all brands. Invest in good lenses and you're okay in the long run (and less wasted time refilming and throw away junk photos).

For filming, my recommendation won't go to Olympus. For ease of use, I'd say Panasonic (which has the best film making implementation). A Panasonic GH3 is recommended, but it might be a little expensive. m4/3 lenses are in general very expensive if you want high quality ones. I personally don't recommend using a DSLR for filming. But if you're an amateur film maker, it's okay. Do make sure the camera has 24 frame per second capability (not every DSLR has it). The reason for using that slow frame rate is because it'll give you that "movie shown in theatre" look. 30 fps gives the TV look and 60 fps will give an HDTV look (high clarity and smooth motion). For still photo camera that shoots landscape, I prefer my camera with high end lenses, but keep in mind Olympus has discontinued the entire 4/3 lines, so won't recommend you go to Olympus now (unless you don't mind that). The next big thing is Olympus E-M1, which is a merge between 4/3 and m4/3, but I won't believe it until I put an eye on it. I have an aversion to electric viewfinder, so I am somewhat skeptical about E-M1 for professional use. If you like to shoot shallow depth of field, go for a camera with as large sensor size as possible, not a 4/3 sensor. You need to shoot on a tripod, if necessary (but doing movies also requires a tripod, so do invest a very sturdy tripod that can pan. A tripod head is more important than a tripod leg, so do expect to spend a lot of money on a tripod head...). What's your photographic skill level?

I use Olympus E-620. It's a 4/3 sensor size DSLR (smaller than APS-C sensor). It's my favorite camera, been using it since 2009. Learning curve is higher than most, and you need to know what you're doing. But once you know your basic photographic theories and read your manual, it's a lot better than other DSLRs. That is, unless you need dynamic range, low light capability and shallow depth of field. You definitely need to know your lighting theory and know how to meter manually sometimes. It's not a point and shoot camera so you definitely need to know your lighting theory. OTOH, Olympus is well known for its Olympus color, so you don't have to fuss around RAW files if you don't want to (I always develop my photos from RAWs to get an extra mile on sharpness). Also have a Micro 4/3 camera, an Olympus E-PM2. It's the size of a point and shoot, but also uses 4/3 size sensor, so the quality is a lot higher than an advanced P&S camera. It is very portable. What I don't like its lack of an optical viewfinder. I also don't like the color reproduction and metering inconsistency. My main film camera is Olympus OM 4Ti. (obviously I am an Olympus person) I personally think it's the best 35mm film camera ever made, but some may think it's OM 3Ti or OM 1n (for purists who don't like any automatic mode and wants a mechanical camera that can operate when the battery dies), and Nikon die-hards might think otherwise. I like it because it's not an auto everything camera, but can unleash your potential when you want to, and yet, it has semi-automatic modes when you need modern convenience. It uses manual focus so if you don't know how to do that, then it's not for you. If you're asking for a camera recommendation, then this is highly personal. Use whatever that fits your photographic style. What's the main genre you are shooting? And what are you going to use it for. All that would affect which brand and which sensor size you should pick. For point and shoot photos to post on Facebook, I recommend a cell phone.... It's always with you and you can post photos in real time. Sony also recently announced an add-on module for your cell phone that has its own sensor (so you are not limited to your cell phone's crappy sensor for low resolution photos) and has NFC/QR WiFi connectivity for most cell phones for easy connectivity and yet uses high end lens for superior photo quality.

Okay, I am going to suggest just one thing.... Watch Edge of Seventeen. I know I am almost like spamming this movie once a while, but here is the reason why I said that: that movie shows Erik's coming out process through the progression of his fashion. He was trying to find himself, and fashion was an outlet of that internal struggle. I think the writer did a very good job with that. It was 80's fashion, so it doesn't apply to this, but it's the symbolic meaning here I am suggesting. I remember when I was younger, back in the time you are writing, btw, in early 2000's, I was not only having sexual awakening issue, but also identity crisis and had several other things went on. I remember back in high school, I was very conservative, wearing what other people were wearing (but being a dork at the time means I was always behind others in trend and I ended up looking just like a dork and a fashion victim). But then when I went to college, I was like, f*ck it. I want to be ME. F*ck the establishment and whatever people's judgment if you don't go with the flow.... The result was, I ended up being the trend setter (though that wasn't my intention at all). But it wasn't a simple from dork to fab story. I started out mixing conservative clothes with one or two outrageous and personality-exhibiting accessories. I remember I went to Sunglass Hut and asked the lady for a pair of "conservative, but trendy sunglasses" and she was like, "that's a little difficult." But we did find a pair that fit my description (it was hell of expensive, but I didn't/don't buy a lot of clothes so it was fine). And it was a success in my make over process and my fashion awakening actually paralleled with sexual awakening, so when I saw Edge of Seventeen, I was like... OMG, I was not alone in this after all. My experience is actually more universal than I thought. For JJ (is this story already written or not?), I think he could wear some matching clothes, par the trend of the time, but with one or two accessories that is the expression of his personality tour de force. Like maybe he wore the layered outfit (solid button down shirt with solid color sweater, like the one shown in Jereme's photo in Social Network), BUT with a pair of red sneakers (which NOBODY at the time wore. Colors were VERY subdued in that period. Gray was the most popular color in early 2000's among men, even the streets were filled with gray Toyota Camry's...). When you wear a suit of conventional outfit, but add one outrageous mismatching accessory like that, all the attention will go to it. And it's all about the accessory that says a story of a man. For a guy who wants to express himself so badly, but don't know what to say (or can't say), everything is in the detail....

Three cheers for boring domesticity. Hip hip hurray! x3