andy cannon
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Everything posted by andy cannon
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Another sparking chapter. Very entertaining.
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Very exciting and cinematic! “There!” He yelled pointing. “I have an idea.” Of course you do, Boo!
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Intriguing start. I'll be interested to see how you handle the multiple points of view within the story.
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Jody is getting his money's worth out of baseball camp, and practice hasn't even started yet!
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Brady's story is tragic, and far more common than we like to think. Societies always seem to opt to protect the powerful from the consequences of their actions rather than the innocent victims of their depredation.
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Chapter 2: Echoes of the Ender
andy cannon commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 2: Echoes of the Ender
Fantastic world-building. The suspense in this chapter just kept increasing. -
... two men from opposing cultures with no way of understanding one another... Perhaps we aren’t so different after all, Really fine chapter, very compelling, finding common ground in spite of the differences.
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Easy peasy for the lads! They'll have this sorted in time for a second cup of coffee.
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Cinquième partie : Le Poisson
andy cannon commented on W_L's story chapter in Cinquième partie : Le Poisson
Some extra complications? Sure, let's have a double helping! -
Quatrième partie : Les Farineaux
andy cannon commented on W_L's story chapter in Quatrième partie : Les Farineaux
A stressful night at Le Coq, but everyone comes through relatively unscathed. Fingers crossed for continued baby steps to success! -
This is a powerful summation of Brady's situation: He wasn't a soldier. He was just a kid who had been given a choice that wasn't a choice at all. I suspect that the first statement won't be true for long.
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Well these gay boys were much more open and confident in Chapel Hill in 1969 than I would have expected! This is very promising.
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Great start! I am looking forward to seeing how develops.
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Great chapter! Queen Charlotte is on the case now, so our Georgie is saved from the appointment to Madrid!
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The wilds of Quebec are awash in excess testosterone, but the Wolf seems destined to suffer for it. "Pomeranian" indeed!
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A highly engaging story with a strong hook and confident first-person voice, blending everyday routine with paranoia. Trauma leads to memory gaps creating an unreliable narrator that keeps the reader disoriented.
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A compelling short story with an eerie psychological edge. The narrative is memorable, with a great twist. I love the flashes of dark humor!
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The Seraphim's Decree
andy cannon commented on ValentineDavis21's story chapter in The Seraphim's Decree
A great opening chapter! I look forward to this journey: “Your path has been set for you. Your pilgrimage begins now.” -
A funny, charming coming out story for the ages, filled with vivid caracters and realistic dialog. AND a happy ending! What more can we ask for? Bravo, Inkognito!
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A really delightful story, one that made me laugh out loud more than once. I would read a whole novel about Eli and the ants' union. The locker room scene was hilarious. And this line sums up my whole life: He was in the IKEA instruction manual for building the closet, but someone had stolen the screws.
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This is shaping up very nicely. I can't imagine that the forces inside the dam perimeter will let Alex and Kenny drive off in the high tech equipment to regroup and strike again, so the next chapter should be a doozy!
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Chapter 1: Shadows and secrets!
andy cannon commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 1: Shadows and secrets!
As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me." 😄 -
Chapter 1: Shadows and secrets!
andy cannon commented on vanalas's story chapter in Chapter 1: Shadows and secrets!
Grandpa is an malevolent presence right off the bat. Dean seems to be cool. Nathan is a bit of a blank canvas still with a lot of potential. Plenty of tension and drama. Great start! -
A ripping tale, but Alex has such a methodical, rational personality, almost coldly so, that I feel he has forgiven Brian's shocking betrayal very quickly. Love is, indeed, blind!
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A raw, introspective, and emotionally charged personal narrative, confessional in tone, that navigates themes of self-awareness, emotional detachment, love, regret and personal growth. Written as journal entries that straddle memoir and therapy, with a candidness that’s both unsettling and deeply human. Very powerful, and well worth reading.
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