Cia
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LOL. And yet you have a blog! Don't stress, you're not alone. Those are things I struggle with too. I think a lot of people have issues with that sort of thing actually. Take a breath, try to imagine whatever you need to write about is from or about another person, be objective. That might help.
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Awwww, thank you! What a great compliment. I'm so glad you are able to identify with Tap that much. He's one of my favorite characters that I've written. I can't say how and when you'll find out who Tap is into but they are teeangers. I had to try and keep the story a bit realistic in that respect, lol. It was fun trying to get in that young mindset again. Can't wait to read your next reviews!
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LOL! I like to throw a few twists into a story. I can't make it just what a reader expects, where is the fun in that? This was an evil cliffhanger though. Oh wait... I don't write those. Umm.. yeah, it was just an interesting end to the chapter. Aren't you glad that you can keep reading since the story is finished though?
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Another review, yay! Hugs! No one ever said 2 people flush in the 'new love' feeling aren't a bit well... blind.LOL It's hard to see past one's own insecurities and fears and that's a big one for Bashta. The next chapter offers a lot of 'working out'... (now who's a tease again?) 5 days to wait, can you take it?
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You can tease all you want darling... I'll just sit back and enjoy it! Funny business 4 chapters in and yet I get 'finally'? Wow, I must be getting good if I make it seem like a long wait and it's been less than a week for the characters.
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I definitely think Bashta needs some confidence boost in himself. Well, at least beyond his ability to stay alive in the jungle. We'll see if he gets it. I'm a huge sucker for romance too, which is why most of my stories involve one. I had to give the Jaguar a good intro, after all he is THE Jaguar. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, you'll find the answers to what you wonder next one!
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Okay, why did David just not be with Jacob? Why did it all fall apart like that and everyone go their own ways? You didn't show us the ending you just wrapped it up, like you tired of the story and stopped writing but didn't want to leave the readers hanging, which is a good thing but still. You get to the climactic moment of the plot and just... done? Oh and btw, this is how we all ended up.
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Okay, what gives? New couple, all flush in love, goes to a club so they can be together without being gawked at by haters and they don't even spend any time together? That doesn't seem very in character. Going there, dancing with Jacob and then Kyle taking a break, running into Chris, seeing Jacob dancing with the guy while he's talking to Chris, a little bit of time gets away from him, and then it's time to leave, he does the bathroom routine, then leaves with Chris would be a lot more plausible. You have to keep the flow of the plot and the characters in mind when you throw in these twists.
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Uh oh... you have a timeline jump here. You have Kyle sleeping with David friday night and waking up and spending a good portion of the day with him and Jacob and then going home and getting kicked out. Then another overnight. So... either they all skipped Friday school or you added an extra day. If you switch chapter 9's beginning to where they wake up from a nap and not the next morning when his parent's show up you should be able to salvage the timeline pretty easily.
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ooh, poor David! He's going to get hurt I think. Also, I didn't understand in the beginning the back and forth about him staying over the night. It seemed like he wasn't supposed to because his mom would find out but he did anyway... I don't know, I was just very confused by that part.
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I'm a little confused on how brothers a year apart in age are in the same classes, since in chapter 1 you said that Jacob and Kyle were heading for their next class (gym) and then in this chapter you have Dave in all of Kyle's classes too. I mean, I guess it's possible in a small school. Kyle's change of heart is rather abrupt but then again... these are teenagers. More reading...
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Drama drama drama? Were we really that dramatic as teenagers? I guess we were but it's a lot of fun looking back now from a whole new viewpoint. Seems like everyone likes someone other than the person that likes there, good fodder for the angst!
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First impression: Basic coming out story. I like the characterizations so far though and your writing style is basically fluid. I do have one complaint though. Instead of periods you are using ... and my mind has naturally been trained to see that as a pause. It's very distracting and not correct use of the punctuation which tends to drive me a tad bonkers. Anyway, reading on!
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I do use openoffice.org on my netbook actually and it's okay compatible with word. A lot of people also use google documents I think. Open Office LInk Google Docs link
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Did you see it coming? Did you? I was hoping that would be quite unexpected. And making them nude... Well that was just for me. Gotta love dripping wet handsome men, mmmm... nums! Glad you liked the chapter!!
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The sun was hovering just above the horizon when they stood outside the Temple. It was a dark stone cave; the triangular rock face above it was carved into the semblance of a giant black jaguar with stone pillars on either side. The entrance, flanked by dark stone walls that reached toward them, resembled nothing so much as a gaping hole waiting to suck them inside. Cavel was incredibly nervous as he stood there in the evening light. Sweat dripped down his face as he waited, glancing between
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Wow! That is a huge compliment!! I think anything someone is drawn to read more than once definitely is appreciated. I've had stories I've felt that way about. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
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Awww... yeah. All good things come to an end sometime. But there's still the epilogue. Yay!!
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I know, that visual is just horrible, right? Someone consuming someone else is absolutely a horror to almost all human societies. Adding it to the story was deliberate to include a very graphic sense of disgust and horror without having to go all out into a full torture session. That was a bit of an evil cliffie at the end of this chapter. Well... if I wrote them, which I don't. Of course.
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Oh yes. He's deadly, not just pretty. Everyone has their limit of what they can handle... things are only going to get crazier, keep reading!!
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I had to add in some of the bond and the love otherwise it was just too dark. And it only gets darker. Thanks so much for continuing to read... over halfway there. Can't wait to see your other reviews!!
