John Doe

Due to a lack of computer, and handwriting a novel for agent submission, this story is currently on hiatus. I greatly apologize. I know many of you are expecting chapters as such, but I currently don't have the time or necessary equipment to write and post. I'm currently using my roommates and recently it seems like I'm dominating his computer and I think he's getting annoyed so... no more computer for me out of respect to him. Once I get my computer, I should be back on track. Don't worry though I will occasionally work on my story until then. I hope to finish it completely and then post the chapters. That way you guys will get a consistant update. I should have done that to start with. Bare with me until then. Thank you for your support of the story and I promise to update... I just don't know quite when yet. Many apologies.

Believe it or not but English it actually the hardest language to learn. The subtle rules and regulations are countless and many. The lanuage has changed frequently over the span of it's life, more so than other languages in the world. Native english speakers don't realize this because they are grown and raised in the language (anyone who grew up around english, knowing it is a native speaker... I'm not talking about skin color here)... so they / we intuitively know rules and regulation, but when approached with or made to explain why something is pronounced or placed where it is many native neglish speakers fail. My lingustics professsor taught us this and he was right... The first day of class he forced everyone outloud and one by one to explain the plural rules in our own words. Every single one of us could not explain the rules in simple terms as to why there are varients in plurals as why you put just "s" in some, and "es" in others and "ies" in others... while others didn't have any changes... (that's the way it is or the way we were taught is not a valid excuse or reason as there is a specific rule governing it.... the first person he asked used this and was quickly shot down... haha I'm laughing just remembering it) but we all knew when and where to place each specified plural grammar intuitively but couldn't offer a reason to save ourselves. When he explained why, it made sense but we all couldn't give the proper answer in the first place.

Buy this book? Really? Wow... that's the comment of the century for me... and you sounded so sincere about it. I'm not entirely sure. I would like to but the thing is I'm not completely out. My family don't know. I am very much in Kan's shoes only I feel that I couldn't bring down my parents. My situation is also a bit more complicated than Kan's. My family don't know and I don't want them to know. I'm okay with being "in"... so I can't decide if I want to publish or not. What I do know is that the story is far from perfect and the final book form would be different from the one on here if I should ever publish it. Vastly different. Though the storyline and flow will be very similar. I'm glad you're already willing to purchase the book. (My roommate thinks I should publish the book because "what's the point of writing something that personal and long...you have the readers, you have buyers..."). Thanks for picking up the story and reading it and a great big thanks of writing what you think of it.

I just want to say that I'm an art major (photographer and graphic design) and I use a PC. I don't like the feel of mac. I have a sony vaio (2k) and it works great. Or it did, but then the wonderful house over surged and destroyed my laptop. I'm buying a new one in August and I'll be spending about 3k this time (yay for government grants). And I'll be buying a vaio again. As always though I get mine custom made to my specifications. I think the art world's usage of the mac kinda has to do with that something stuck up their *ahem* and thinking they are artsy. Programs work equally on both, and then add in the factor that I do some gaming and the PC has te edge for me. Really a person should use somethng they are comfortable with. I haven't tried Linux and I really want to though. I've always told my friends to stay away from Dell (though they aren't as bad anymore) and I figured your friend would have went with a Dell. They are price friendly as always.

I have never read the books.... but I wish I had because the movies are awesome and the books can only be better. But unfortunately, saw the movies first and once that happens for me it gets really hard for me to pick up the book. But I'm excited anyway...

Yep. We get radiation from the sun and the applicances we use. If only I can get super powers from them and be a super hero. Though I'm not going to lie, if I have super powers and was about the only one with super powers, I may lean towards the naughty "not so good side" at moments. PLus radiation isn't all bad. Chemotherapy is just that.

I have the same issues too. You can copy and paste from Word, you just have to edit and delete whatever is pasted and re pasted it one or two more times. It usually finds the correct format and keeps whatever you did you the words intact (except if you color them). Since the stories are going on an online site I do no indentation and just add a space between each paragraph (when I write my stories in Word). The delete all and repasting can be a bit tedious but it works and it's faster and easier than manually fixing it on the small box for the story.

Thanks Mack for leaving a message! I'm glad you are enjoying the story thus far. That last update should take care of all the major players. There are more intermediate people involved but their roles aren't as big. Now each character' s personalities and roles are coming out and I hope to progress the story along. Of course filled with action and hopefully intrigue. People should let me know what you are thinking so far. (I feel like I'm just talking and no one is listening.)

For you the accident was unnecessary at that moment, as you have grown tired of such stories. I know you liked my story up to that point. (I know what a mulatto is... since this country was rife with the issues of slavery and whatnot. And I understand how it is to be of mulatto origins, as my friend in high school was, and she had some horrible tales, of growing up in Arkansas, but I will never truly know, empathize, and know the experience myself. I can only sympathize). And I understood the meaning of your comment about the accident. I guess my explanation of the story muddied things but I had hoped you understand why I choose to write that way. I was trying to explain how my story structure was like and its relevance. The story is in need of editing, cut out scenes that were unnecessary, etc., but I disagree on "that moment." I think that point was the perfect time. If I was to write out the "exploration" of their relationship it would be just filler. Yeah readers would enjoy it because they get to see Kan and Beau moments. But Kan will second guess every decision he makes during that whole time (kinda like throughout the whole story) and by this time (and if I should add those types of scenes of Kan and Beau together in) it would just be filler fluff. From a writing and structure standpoint, I would only be repackaging my story for a smaller few scenes/chapters to prolong a story to convey what is already known: that the two care for each other and they have a hardship that deals with Kan's culture. I could have said oh and they enjoyed their relationship for a few months and this is what they discovered about each other and go into summary detail of what they did discover, but the way they felt is already apparent throughout the whole story and thus those moments are just saying what should have been picked up a long time ago. It would be like being the person who asked you if you got the joke and you nodded and he explains the joke to you anyway. As I keep stating this isn't just a "get together" story. As a writer, I need to be specific, concise, and I can't really repeat myself too much in my work. It gets tiresome and repetitive and it will detract from the story. On to the heavy topic: I also gave a story depth response because I wanted you to be aware of your western mindset and it's possible block/ refusal of acceptance of the rigidness of my culture. It's a hard thing to swallow. I struggle with it to this day as I am raised immersed in both western and eastern influence. Most days I make decisions bowing to my eastern ideals... like I'm not out. But I am damn proud of myself. I can't put my family through the disgrace and I probably never will come out unless someone exposes me. But I have friends who I can laugh and share happy memories with and to me they are my family also. I will defend them, even to the disagreement of my family, because my friends have stand by and protected me from those who refuses to understand the position I'm in and I will do everything in my power to protect both. There has not been a moment yet where those two groups have been in conflict, because the two care about me, and plus I don't see any possible conflict soon. Your right sometimes family isn't all that, and taken Leng's emotional views he would have grieved if Kan died (I did say that those who didn't grieve were on the extreme end). I knew Uncles and Aunts who did not grieve for my cousins death (as stated in my previous response, it was more like relief). If you are thinking this story with a western concept, it will inhibit what I am trying to tell you. As an individual, you do not think of yourself in Asian culture, especially in smaller Asian minorities. It's the collective. I think this is where the disagreement comes from with some of my readers. It's ingrained in every child at a small age that you don't matter to the group as an individual that your love should be for the whole. So you don't respect yourself first and foremost, you respect the your family, culture, and traditions first and foremost. And when you are raised that way, it's part of your being and you treasure those ideals, never once having issues with it, until conflict arises. What do you then? As your heart bleeds for both. Kan's father would have never requested to see Kan if he should be dying in a hospital bed, not after Kan was a disgrace. There's dignity in death after all. Calling for the disgraced Kan would take away that dignity. He would have left a letter for best scenario. The way I see it the majority of the western masses are more flexible with their traditions and values, and unfortunately not so in my culture. If it was legal I know of people who will kill their own sons and daughters themselves for the "disgrace" they have inflicted on their family. Michael told your parents because you wanted them to know who you are truly and I applaud you for that, for having the courage that I don't have. For having that sense of freedom, I am jealous. I can never do it. It's too much of a shame for my family to bear. I rather uphold my parents' (and extended family) dignity and honor, as I am their child, they have raised me. Filial responsibility. I am willing to set aside my "love" happiness for the happiness of my entire family because I also love them and my culture. I damn proud of it. They mean that much to me. Am I happy? I am. Are there days when I wished I can have a significant other to hold? I do, but not enough to not see my family. Kan's decision would have never been firm. He would always second guess himself. He wouldn't doubt Beau's love but doubt his feelings. Is he doing the right thing? Kan and Beau's relationship wouldn't survive without Kan being force with deadly truth. I know you may probably say it's Kan's decision and he'll come to it sooner or later, but it's not that simple, as the story and what I am trying to tell my readers. In my culture and a lot of eastern culture, the culture and tradition ARE all that and the bag of chips (using your metaphor). You're right. Ultimately people have to choose. For me and people in Kan's shoes that decision is a hard one to make, and like me, I know of many people growing up in eastern culture who decides not to choose the "love of a partner." Gah this is hard to explain and even if you do get it, it's hard for many to swallow. If you can't accept it, I accept that. Without being raised in that environment and culture the person cannot truly understand my thought process and/ or Kan's. You're right about the last part, humanity uses the current mainstream to control those who deviates from it. But I feel that in eastern society, it gets more complicated than that. Honor is a big deal and isn't always about consciousness or what's "right." This should be in the forums. People you should be more like Michael. Voice those opinions. We may disagree but it doesn't mean you should feel like you can't say it. Be more like Michael. Embrace your western side. Haha. If you are from elsewhere than a western society, find that western moment. Besides you may have a point or relevance I may miss.

I just wrote a response to a comment and I hope that reader reads my reponse but I felt like I have to defend my story and I did so... so now that I'm done I hope the reader doesn't take offense. But I stand by my words, both story and response. But I believe that reader had valid points. There are many stories with tragedies to end their stories, thought I disagree that its the "stereotypical gay" tragedy statement. Gays dont have it harder. Their lives are as hard as anyone elses gay, staright, bi, transgendered, black, white, yellow, poor, rich, Christian, Muslim, etc. This story was never intended to allude that gays have it harder and in my opinion, I believe that reader has taken tihngs that and let that obscure his opinion. Kan could have been female and it would have been stereotypical. Kan could have been white, and it would have been stereotypical. My point? No matter our differences the human experience is the same... it's called humanity and being human. What makes a sotry different and unique are the people who make the story. This is Kan and Beau's story. I guess I am ranting some... but I don't think people should toss a story aside because it's a bit cliche. Yeah so what maybe some things are a bit cliche (but isn't life made up of cliches.... love, anger, loss)... it's the characters that makes each story different, like how my life is mine alone and no one elses... Kan and Beau's lives are their own and that makes them different. If cliches are stopping someone to read, they shouldn't be reading at all. You should read for the characters and their stories. I hoped to take cliches and make them my own and hopefully I've succeeded for most of you. There may be some out there that disagrees but I can respect that and I can understand why. Chapter 25 (THE LAST CHAPTER!!!) will be posted by Friday hopefully.

I have tried to read that series but something about Ms. Harris' writing styles irks me. I read the first book completely but couldn't get over the writing style. Though looking through the book now I don't see what had annoy me. But now I am watching the HBO show and that has ruined me for the books. If I haven't read the books first but seen the shows/movies first it ruins the books for me and I don't read them. Harry Potter I have not read because of that fact. (I read the last book though). I know I suck but I saw TrueBlood TV before I knew of the books. Haha You get my title now eh. About time. Haha. I was joking about the groveling. Should be up by tonight. Chapter 24 that is the second to last chapter.

Well at least I can alwasy rent What a Girl Wants anytime.... that is her in that movie right?

Young Sage - Don't worry about your comments. I knew specifically what you were saying and there's is that potential for it to be a shocker as most writers have done so to draw that intended feeling because they got nothing else up their sleeves and needed to recapture their audience. For me I knew that that was part of the ending the moment I thought of this story. I knew this moment before I wrote the beginning and middle. I knew I wanted "that scene" and so for Get There it was a reworking from ending to beginning and then fill the middle to bridge the gap from point A to B. So I hope my ending is not one of those "haha sucker, got ya" moments. (I got more to say but maybe I'll save it for the end...heh) Caedus - Realism is what I hoped to acheive in this story though the last two chapters may stretch that idea some but I believe it still maintainable and believable. And I get tired of the perfect characters in stories we read online today and some even published works. No one is perfect. Even the seemingly perfect characters has flaws, something that drives them to that perfection: a regretful past, unbearable expectations and/ or burdens, or an unlivable dream that they can never attain. Something is there to make them seem like perfection. For me I wanted Beau to be that perfect person. A person so caught up with Kan that he doesn't realize about himself. My belief is that before you can truely love someone you must first come to love yourself. And that's why I wrote in that scene with Susan. (You'll find out specifics in chapter 24). Beau has a cowardly aspect to himself too (I think you mentioned this). In a real life situation that annoys the crap out of me. I believe the only way he is likable in this story is because we can see his mindframe and train of thought as to why he is a coward. I believe we have too many stories that have the perfect character without any flaws or rather, any believable flaws... like bing clumsy is not a flaw (*cough* *cough* Bella *cough* *cough*), or being perfect in itself is not a flaw (well the stories that I have read did not write that out well enough for me to believe that lame excuse). (*pushed phelgm from the throat* Edward *spits*) (all joking aside I did enjoy the books because of it's storyline, especially books three and four because of the Volturi aspect, but details like those mentioned before drove me up the wall when I was reading that series) If being perfect was a flaw, I wanted to see the person plan out their future 20 years in advance maybe for the rest of their lives and is determined not to change anything in their plans. When they are THAT perfect they may be even be a little OCD, orgainzing their books, cds, dvds in alphabetical order according to artist/author and then year the items came out... their room is symetrical when divided in half, anything thats OCD basically, and then yeah I'll believe the perfection is a flaw thing but most stories these days have the perfect person and implies or even states that that perfection is a flaw but does things normally, accepts the love interest with open arms, and just goes with the flow. That's just too perfect and not realistic. Sure I like to read those stories sometimes but I'll never believe the circumstances of the story. My nagging voice will remind me constantly and sometimes that perfection will just annoy the crap out of me. Believability. That's why Mai's relationship failed. Not every story is a fairytail. People say you have to work hard to maintain a good relationship and even harder to maintain a marriage and I argee. Happily ever after does not just happens. It takes the effort of both party for it to work and stay ever after. I throw one thing after another at Kan and Beau so there is no way I'll make Mai's first relationship a happy one. No way, not even if hell has froze over (heck there is some myth that even believes parts of hell or even hell itself is frozen). Related side author opinion: I love how people comment how high school love is ignorant and unbelievable. I disagree. I believe it IS POSSIBLE, but people in general are the impossible factors. Adults break up all the time. Divorces are happening left and right. High school love is just the target of this ideal because they are the "youngest" having yet to live "real life." If people haven't realized high school is a part of life, making it a real life experience. I have seen high school sweethearts married and remained happily married (one couple for 45 years now with a huge family). But for the most part, people fail in general when it comes to love, and the fault or blame shouldn't be placed harsher on highschool sweethearts as there are people breaking up late into adult life. People tosses the feeling of love you get in highschool as young love...is there even such a thing? Love is love regardless of age. A child knows how to cry when their first dog dies, does that make those emotions any less revelant because of their age? Oh they were only 6 when "Old Yeller" died or maybe even a close relative (mom or dad), they haven't known real lost yet. Give it a few years and a few deaths, they'll know the real thing then. That's ridiculous. But back to the story... I may post Chapter 24 soon. Depending on how many grovelers I get in the next few hours or days. Here would be an ideal place. Plus leave a comment on the topics we've been discussing or even a new one I don't mind or care. But yes need more groveling at me feet. Muahahahahahaha.

Strangly enough I found that writing third is hard. Because my story Mages is in third person. I want to so badly to jump heads and there are small moments when I do and I feel like it's a glaring mistake but then again I felt it was important. Right now I'm sticking to one character and breaking it up into sections and in the future I would hope to not have break the story up like that since it's already third person. This story will be an experience gainer for me, that's for sure. A great writer will know what to write regardless of POV. For most of us, it takes a bit of planning, maybe some struggling, and a whole lot of editing. Practice and editing: pretty much the only way to get better at writing and - oh - toss in reading the works of your favorite authors. I don't just mean read but pay attention to how the author words a sentence, a paragraph, structures his or her page, novel. Analytical reading level takes some skills and practice also. And I don't mean analytical like what you do in your literature classes figuring out meaning, motif, symbolism, etc. I mean craft or execution of story telling. I have found myself emersed in the stories that I read and then realize wait I wasn't paying attention to the author's craft and so I go back and reread to page to pay attention to how the author lays out every word on the page and how he or she breaks up the words, sentences, and paragraph. And yeah maybe reading a story like that may take away the enjoyment of the story for some of you but for me I'm beginning to pick up on certain things and I still find that I enjoy the stories still. Most of the writers and agents that have come to my university for a lecture have all pretty much said that POV doesn't really matter in the big picture. How a person relates, loves, and enjoys a story will depend on the perfection of execution of the author's works. My professors seemed to agree since all of them pretty much don't care about POV unless it's specific to an exercise. I think I can write a decent first person story, now I need to work on the third person narratives. Has third person come easliy to anyone?

Thank you Thank you! I will start from there.

Gah! Hilarious.

So my university that I attend does not offer web design/ computer classes. Well they do, but only computer science majors can take those classes and since I'm an art major I'm banned from taking those classes. No hard feelings, since art classes are only art majors only. I am interested in reading books on how to understand and build a website. I am currently learning how to use Photoshop for art stuff and figure I can deisgn my own web templates. So I want to know how to create a web template basically, like inputting my own art in and creating buttons and linking pages, etc... is there a good website or book anyone can recommend? To get a grasp on my level of understanding, I'm beginner. I have designs done ready to be in be inputted into "web format," but I'm stuck on huh? How? So beginner and clueless... any help?

Okay well I wrote out a story outline for it. Put it on hold (meaning work on it whenever I feel like it but not post) until I finish Get There. Maybe when I'm almost done with Mages and if I'm 3/4 of the way through with that story I'll post it. Thanks for the feedback yall. Much appreciated.

Bangs is the area of hair that comes down and covers the forehead.

I'm not sure one could make a generalization like that. Maybe in your cirumstance and from the people you know it may seem that way to you, but I think people are just different. They have different tastes and what not. I read a lot of young adult novels and the details and stuff like that compared to British author and American author are different only because of author style and not country origins. I've read examples from both sides of details from both countries and I enjoyed all. And the sucess of each novel I believe was due to craft and overall quality of writing and not attention to detail. This is similar to this forum topic recently posted as well....

Ugh i hate this topic because it reminds me of the stupid ignorant people who blow things out of proportions. And I don't mean those arguing for a natural happy relationship between an adult and child but the idiots who yell child abuse. It reminds me of a case I studied in my siociology class where a female primary teacher was acccused of sexual molesting a child. A child went to the doctor and the doctor pat his back and he said that Ms. Jones does that to me. Well low and behold the mother caused an uproar and thankfully stupid uncle is a judge so thing was blown out of proportion. People started coming out of the woodworks accsuing this poor lady of molesting and sexually assaulting their children. Sayng things like she shoves object into children's orifice and peed on them while they napped. The whole thing was a circus. Parents told and forced their children to lie in court and the judge who happens to be related to the first idiot woman supported it because his nephew was "molested." Years afterwards another judge ruled in favor of the woman, because of the circus act and the admittance of some parents saying they were swept up in the fevor. Some refused to acknowledge their lies to this day. Poor woman had to and still carries that stigma of being that woman who molested primary school kids. A stigma that she could never take away. Now i'm pissed.... but yeah I don't blame those two guys or anyone else for that matter for acting like they do because there are douches like the stupid lame excuse of a mother who would yell rape and molestor, and people would come crawling out of holes and popping out of graves to accuse an innocent of doing something perverted to their children. With that aside, I do hope that one day this changes because children do need that physical touch. Human beings are social creatures and we need others to feel at home and safe, whether it be a family, friends, or caring adult.

Gah! Exactly I completely agree. I only wished people were open to this idea but even now there are families very resistant to this idea. Some afriad their cultural background will be lost (which is respectful fear) but at the same time it restricts some to freeely live and be. I believe there is a happy medium but that medium can't be reached if boths sides won't agree....

I hate stupid notebooks!!!!!!! Why oh why do the pages returns when you touch the pad a certain way....dang I have to retype what I wrote all over again. Anyway... I agree with what Bugeye said in that you should just keep writing. And here's my addictional comments. Like some have alluded to, simple or detailed description is fine either way. I have read books and novels that was one or the other and can remember thinking wow that book was written well. When it comes to science fiction and fantasy I tend to like the descriptions to be on the higher scale but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want every detail. When I wrote Mages of the Academy, in the beginning I waslike details details and details because I wanted my reader to know the world that I created. Now the detail is a bit slack but I don't think it subtracts from the story as now people have an idea of what my made up world is like. After posting the first few chapters I got opinions from both side: too descriptive and others loved it. So the lesson is this.... it don't matter if its simple or fine detailed, people will have a preference no matter what and you cannot cater to everyone. You should not change your writing to please one or the other and the only person you should be writing to please and be happy and content with is yourself. The only thing you need to worry about is the craft and execution of the work at hand. If your craft is solid and your execution is done well, simple or fine detials won't matter. so... Contiously write and write for youself and how you envision the story to be. Don't write how someone else thinks you should write. If they keep telling you how to write and what to write you can tell them they should write their own story. But there is a difference in someone telling you how to write better. You just have to know as the writer what to take into consideration and how to digest a comment or suggestion. Yeah there are some people who thinks your work needs this or that, but sometimes really they are just saying those things because your writing style is just different than theirs and they aren't comfortable with it. I had a reader tell me once that my story needed editing and I asked what and he stated things that were fine and it turned out that he didn't like the way I worded things. Like I referred a smile as a gesture and he didn't think a smile was a gesture (when it is), his thoughts were a gesture had to do with movements with the body outside of the face. I appreciated his opinion but that was just a matter of taste. I didn't do anything wrong. But that same reader also pointed out that I kinda reiterate the same concept or emotion over again after just saying it in another sentence. When I reread the story, he was absolutely right. When I was writing the story at the time, I like the way it sounded and didn't see what he pointed out but after I was made aware, it was obvious that I was just repeating myself in a different way, so I went back and edited those repeated implications out. So filter out your comments and suggestions. Everyone is tryng to make you a better writer, but not every comment or suggestions will make you a better writer.

I agree with this statement. People go back to what they are comfortable with. Reminds me of food. Heh. We all have different ideas and takes on what comfort food is. I grew up in the south and comfort for me is hearty stuff like BBQ ribs, grits gravy and biscuits, and/or traditionally Asian food from my culture like fried spring rolls and stuff chicken wings. My roommate thinks of pizza and meatloaf (*gags* on both items). Growing up as a kid my parents allow me to watch all sorts of things. Excpet for R rated stuff. So I tend to be indifferent towards shows when it comes to association. There's the thing with Japanese anime that has it's own stigma in western culture. People who are seen as people who enjoy japanese anime are nerds, dorks, geeks, etc. For example when i was talking Japanese for a few semesters (6 semesters totaled) it annoyed the crap out of me when people show up because they like anime. But as I advanced to higher levels, those people were quickly weeded out. Yeah there are a few who still liked Japanese anime passionately but they also have a deep interest in Japanese culture (I should go read through my textbook again to refresh my memory). A lot of people I know can't stand Japanese anime because they associate Japanese anime with the anime fanatics, which I think is a bit unfair as they aren't really evaluating the anime itself but rather the people who watches the show and the association that goes with those people. I like anime because it pushes the creative ideas and expands on them. American cartoons are more for comfort. Japanese Anime as a generality is a bit more complex (talking about plot here) than American animation and I like that aspect. Though it can only be found in American animation where opinions are obvious and isn't a "let's hold hands and hope for world peace" and I like that about shows like Family Guy and South Park. Shows like on Nickelodeon (sp?) like Hey Arnold I could care less about because I didn't grow up on them, they are artistically incompatible with my tastes, and I much rather watch shows like Tom and Jerry or Ben 10. Today I much rather read books and write. Rarely do I watch TV. I watch anime because I can watch them for free on the internet (in Japanese usually a week after it's been released in Japan) but it's kinda hard to watch a whole series or catch up on a whole American series since only a limited number of episodes is availible online, but I guess the thing with most American animation shows is that you can watch any episode and not be lost. Though bring me a comic book or graphic novel and mangas and I'll sit down with you and read the days away. I equally love both when the art is on par with my preference. PS. Has anyone read the graphic novel Unwritten? It's pretty interesting.

Because of Mark I was going to write my wishes in Japanese with the characters.... but then you may think I was saying bad things about you so Happy Birthday... you're getting old, should stock up on the aging cream.