PrivateTim

Bob Hope was a singer, dancer, comedian who started in vaudeville, went to to radio, the movies and television. His career spanned 70 years, maybe more as he had 64 years alone in broadcasting in TV. Starting in 1941 he began to entertain troops as part of his contribution to the war effort. Starting in 1948 it became a tradition to do it over the Christmas holidays and bring some cheer from home to the troops overseas. The Bob Hope Christmas specials from Vietnam were legendary. Many of them were in areas right on the edge of the war zone. A young marine or soldier could be in the jungle on patrol one day and the next sitting in an audience watching these famous people perform. He continued to entertain the troops all the way through the first Gulf War in 1990. The US Navy named a ship after him, the USAF named a C-17 after him and the US Congress unanimously voted him the first ever "Honorary Veteran." He passed away at 100 years old in 2003. He was a truly remarkable man. I knew who he was, but didn't understand a lot about him until I read his book, Don't Shoot, It's Only Me.

Are you an adult now??

I can see John and Will in boxers in their room lip sync-ing this.

For Brad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imsm-jIjVio

Oy vey!

Can we get a pinned Dramatis personae? I forget how Kevin is related to Will and how Kristen is related to JP.

I am not sure what the current state of affairs on college campuses says about anything. These bastions of the Free Speech Movement now have speech codes about what you can and can not say. If you think "no always means no" then I might submit that you have a rather simplistic view of sexual dynamics. There is a reason people never use "no" or "stop" as their safe word in sexual play because that is often part of the psychology of the act. There are on some campuses, maybe most these days, so many rules around sex that it is almost impossible for two college kids to actually have sex. Signed consent forms in triplicate and notarized isn't enough to protect a male student if the female has regrets later. This I know from my role as an adviser to college fraternity for several years. We used to bring in a Los Angeles ADA every year to scare the pledge class so badly no one could get an erection for a semester. The flip side of "no means yes" is "yes means no" and I've seen the prosecutions where the ADA actually SAYS that with a straight face about an accused 19 year old who was supposed to know that "yes means no." In no way is Mark saying rape is okay or that no doesn't mean no, he is saying sexual relations are complicated and he is right.

Ha ha, I am guessing you only got three stars outta five because some guys cringed at the "twitching pussy" but, I thought it was interesting. Nothing wrong with throwing in a little straight sex to keep things real.

Sorry, I guess I am behind a couple of chapters. I think with all the changes to the site I didn't notice that you had added more chapters. I still think you need to fire your editor The Peer Counselors Hotline would be spelled like that. Councilors are people who sit on councils. Now, to capitalization rules. You should capitalize grandfather or grandson when it is used to directly replace the person's name, not indirectly as when preceded by a possesive pronoun like your, my, his, etc. For example: "Go tell Grandfather supper is ready" vs "Go tell your grandfather supper is ready." Okay, housekeeping issues are out of the way. I think Josh is being too easy on his grandfather. I can't imagine that if Josh were dating a Japanese or African American girl, people would be so tolerant of his attitude. I would have liked to see Josh step up and question the old boy a bit more; not attack him, just take a rational approach.

What threat to Will's well being was there? Parents run teens lives in that they decide where the teen is going to live, where they are going to high school, what boundaries they have, what the rules are going to be, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not and many other things, including what punishments for violating the ground rules. Few teens have any input into where they are going to school because of school district rules and even fewer have any input into where they are going to live, that is for the privileged. My friends who went to Catholic school had no say in the matter. Yes a teen can choose his classes, but even that is limited because the school tells him what he has to have to graduate and doesn't leave that much room for electives. You can choose your friends and you can choose your behavior and your reaction to the limitations your parents put on you, but you can't choose your own curfew. It doesn't matter if the adults in his life have made 100% correct decisions or even if the only batting .300, the point is they have the experience at making them and knowing the results. That is where wisdom comes from, learning from the mistakes you have made. No one has ever said it better than Mark Twain, "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

I can't see anyone in the family supporting Will running away just because he can't have his way. They might give Will a cooling off period, but in the absence of any threat to his well being, he'd be sent home. When Brad and Robbie ran away they had good reason to, there was real danger to Robbie. That isn't the case with Will. Will doesn't have any grievances. He is a classic spoiled rich kid who flies in private jets, lives in a multi-million dollar home on some of the most exclusive real estate in the world and he wants for nothing. And what the hell does a 13 year old know about relationships that he doesn't need the guidance of adults. Parents are SUPPOSED to run the lives of teens because teens don't make good, informed decisions. Yes Mark has painted a portrait of a mature 8th grader, but it is still an 8th grader. Maybe Brad and Robbie have done things to remind the boys how lucky they are to have the lifestyle they do and have exposed them to the rougher side of life and included some volunteerism, but we really haven't much of that. It almost seems that Brad's first exposure in L.A was his contact with Father Tim and the shelter. Robbie's epiphany came at Claremont. I just think they are all now reaping the fruit of what they sowed by indulging Will.

I get what you are saying and wouldn't have disagreed 20 years ago, but these aren't traditional families, they are so complex my head hurts thinking about it. I am also appalled by what I see of kids running their parents, not the other way around... and forget 13, I am talking about 7 year olds telling their parents what they are going to do.

Ah, I see your confusion. When I talked about not sending kids to school with the "maid and gardener's kids", that was not about Brad, Robbie and Mom, but the general attitude of the So Cal nouveau riche that Mark was talking about. The attitude is something very difficult to understand unless you have seen it in action. He has obviously been exposed to it first hand.

No, I am saying you really don't get Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Bel Air, Beverly Hills, etc. Schools like The Brentwood School and Crossroads are K-12 schools, or even PK-12 and families like the Schwarznegger's don't even blink at sending their kids to The Brentwood School to the tune of $23,000 for Kindergarten (through 6th) and then $27,000 for 7-12. Spending $100,000 a year to send your kids to private school for 13 years is just what you do. It isn't just the security, it is the insecurity..... of the parents. Sending your kids to private school is like buying the 12,000 square foot house or the Mercedes (or Range Rover or Ferrari), chartering jets (or buying them). It is all part of the status game. When all the moms at the Mommy and Me class are talking about those schools (or the Montessori schools) you don't send your kids to the school where your maids or gardners kids might go. Didn't you read the Great Gatsby? "The rich are different from you and me." If it is true for the rich it is doubly true for the famous and quadrupoly true for the rich, famous and Hollywood. Now as to skating, it is a mixed bag in CA especially along the coast. Bear in mind it has been around the CA coast for 60-70 years now. A lot of guys skate when they are younger because it is a good way to get around, but the perception of a lot a surfers is that skaters are just wanna be surfers and there is tension between the groups. Surfers really scoff at the skater punks and especially at skater punks from around the country and world. Everyone thinks they just want to be CA surfers and live the lifestyle that is synonymous with Malibu and has been in the public consciousness since Gidget was first introduced to the world in 1957 and Sandra Dee brought it to the big screen and Sally Fields the small screen (and on a side note, despite the fact that Sally went to all public schools including Birmingham High with big hitters Michael Milken & Michael Ovitz, her son, Sam Greisman, went to the Brentwood School).

Nice new chapter but two, maybe three thoughts. One, I don't think JP would undermine Brad that directly. I would think he would tell Will he was always welcome as long as his parents were okay with it, or sentiments to that extent. Two, the irony of Will talking about maturity when he is behaving very immaturely, figuratively holding his breath and stomping his feet reminds me of Veruca Salt. Three, none of the parents are dumb and even as progressive as they are, I can't imagine them all being fine with an 8th grader and 7th grader having a sexual relationship. That is all.

You don't quite get Malibu. Because it is in the boondocks, people are used to drving 30-40 minutes to do anything, including grocery shop. Gelson's in Pacific Palisades is the nearest acceptable market and after that you hit Whole Foods or Bristol Farms in either the Santa Monica or the Valley (Westlake and Woodland Hills). The Schluter-Hayes family don't live in a vacuum in Malibu and the families and kids their kids grew up with would mostly go to private schools because most just do not think about any other alternatives as viable. Remember in 2000 they would still have the Spielberg, Russell-Hawn, Reiner, Brosnan, etc ad nauseum as neighbors and friends, and those are just the names you know, not the captains of industry that live in the Colony too. I've never seen any antipathy from Brad towards private schools, he went where, Yale was it? He has lived in a pretty exclusive bubble since leaving high school and that shapes the way you think. I've never seen him be the militant egalitarian and given the recent attempts on his life and his raised profile I just don't see public school in either So Cal or No Cal as a viable option.

Do you read Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Robert Tannenbaum, T. Parker Jefferson? Your style reminds me a lot of them.

You thought Eddie Albert was just the goofy straight man from Green Acres. Actually he was a war hero who saw action in one of the bloodiest battles ever, Tarawa, and won a bronze star for heroism. Charlton Heston was a Sgt, in the Army Air Corps. Lee Marvin was a Marine, wounded in action at the invasion of Saipan. Glenn Ford fought through the Pacific as a Marine and after discharge joined the Naval Reserve and served for decades rising to the rank of Captain. Goofy Don Adams from Get Smart and the voice of Tennessee Tuxedo was a grunt Marine and was wounded and nearly died at Guadalcanal. James Arness, Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke, was in the U.S. Army and was severely wounded at Anzio. Gene Autry was a Sgt. in the Army Air Corps and flew supplies and ammunition over the very dangerous "the hump" in Burma.

I think the limited number of gay people to choose from makes people more open minded by necessity than in the straight world. I don't see a lot of African American & white gay couples in L.A., but a good number of white & Asian and obviously a lot of white & Hispanic, but Hispanic isn't really considered a race, it is a culture (but that is a topic all on its own). And I think you see a lot more couples with wide divergence in ages than you do in the str8 community. I was surprised when I went to Atlanta on business one time because I saw so many "salt & pepper" couples. I wasn't used to seeing that, but I figured out that Atlanta has a much higher percent of African Americas than L.A. does, so I guess it makes sense.

Very inspirational short about what you can do if you put your mind to it. I'd recommend clicking on the "watch on youtube option" so you can read the subtitles easier.

Not my favorite above all others, but I'll never forget seeing Ultra Nate live at Axis nightclub in West Hollywood Halloween night 1997. She was queen of the House Music world, especially in Europe and especially Ibeza. "Free" was totally hot in all the clubs and she was singing it live to us. It wasn't just that she was live, or the song was hot, the lyrics struck a chord with me on issues that I was just starting to deal with: "Cause you're free, To do what you want to do, You've got to live your life, Do what you want to do". A memorable night on many levels Where did we go wrong Where did we lose our faith My brother is in need But can he depend on me Do you think if one of you tried Maybe you could find A better friend than any other If you gave more than you took Life could be so good Come on and try Nows the time Chorus Cause you're free To do what you want to do You've got to live your life Do what you want to do Chant Do what you want Do what you want to do Are we all strangers Does anyone really care Deep down were all the same Trying to hide our pain You think you can never trust another Cause they're all out to get ya We have to live in this world together If we open up our hearts Love can finally start Come on and try Nows the time Chorus Bridge when you're down and youre Feeling bad Everybody has left you sad Feels like no one will pull you through Its your life whatcha gonna do Make that change lets start today Get outta bed get on your way Don't be scared your dreams right there You want it reach for it<br style="mso-special-character:line-break"><br style="mso-special-character:line-break">

A thread in the lounge triggered the thought in me, what should Mr. Arbour's next genre be when he finishes the CAP series? I am thinking we need a gay Butch Karp (Bob Tannebaum), Mitch Rapp (Vince Flynn) or Harry Bosch (Michael Connelly). They are great mystery/action novels. Maybe even a gay Jim Chee (Tony Hillerman).

I like believable story lines, that is why I am a big fan of Mark Arbour & Dom Luka. Sci fi or fantasy with a gay theme isn't my thing, although I love sci fi and like fantasy in general. I've tried to get into "fan fiction" but the style is so different from the original authors, I find it distracting.

Renaldo is so passe. Chicharito mania is what it is all about. Chicharito Javier Hernandez

While Loyola is Jesuit, the rest are either nominally religious or not religious at all, Crossroads is even explicitly humanist. And while Harvard School for Boys was founded as an Episcopal school, it has a ton of Jewish students and probably a few Muslim these days because it is considered one of the best schools around, it really isn't Episcopal any more.