Andrew Q Gordon

Thank you Dolores, always love hearing from you

Thanks Lugh - yes it is easier to write when you can't get the words out fast enough. I'm not sure if this is the one or not, there are a few floating around, but I wanted to focus on a few things before I devote time to this. Like you said, wanna do it right. Thanks for reading and the comments

Thanks Dave and thanks for the help - Once I finish a few other projects, I intend to get back to this one. I have such strong images of where I want to take this one that I kinda need to get it out or it's gonna make my head explode

The premise is a great one, definitely not enough details however. I'm not sure I bought the - can you love me - part, hell they really barely just met, but other wise it worked quite well - minus the paucity of details.

KC, I'm about halfway the anthologies through and this is probably my favorite. In the first half you could feel Alex's anger it was so well done. The little details missing seemed annoying at first, but then it helped keep the focus where it needed to be. Hoping I don't offend you with this last bit, but this really is so much better written than your earlier stuff. The details come to life without you telling us - really really great job. [i think that was enough superlatives, no? Okay, really, really really - there's three more - all well deserved.] Andy

Really well done - you could almost feel his loss and his despair.

Meh, hated it. Just kidding, knowing a bit about what this 'shot' off of, I have to wonder, is Captain Brown really that eager to see J.T? Me thinks no, not if he's wise.

Happy endings are - well . . . so happy

Haha, you're the one who keeps egging me on to write this one - so you're biased. But thanks all the same

KC, I totally want to write this one, just gotta find the time. As for the two dullards unable to see clearly, well being young has that effect on people I suppose - but I'm not sure anymore, I haven't been young in a long time

Thanks Sam, glad you enjoyed it. hopefully I'll get around to building the story around this.

Rather than do what I thought - not enough time this morning, I'm going with this - after all what's Christmas without Frank? No self respecting NY Italian family failed to buy Frank's holiday albums.

Vic, you're the only 'Story Review' so you're in a class by yourself, but um we knew that right? Thanks for the comments, I'm glad that you can see improvement, that was much of the reason for my coming to GA and posting - hoping to get better. Just don't wait too eagerly for this to continue, so much else to finish/deal with first. But maybe when I go visit the parents and grandma gets to play with the baby, I'll have time to write a bit - hopefully

Woo Hoo!! I passed the Dannsar Read fairly bloodless But I have to say, Dag, you're good. I didn't think anyone would get that Stefren came to Fenzu as the epitome of a court dandy, but you saw it - two gold stars for you As for the PS, really? I thought I did just about what I always do, get you to where the fun is about to begin, then shut the curtains - don't expect anything more when I write the full story, you'll not know who's dick is bigger, who's top/bttm, if they do that, etc. So not necessary for this type of story. Where's my PM with the 'Veshe' explanation? Thanks for the comments, as always, I look forward to them.

I love and hate Fantasy writing, on the one hand you get to 'change' things - i.e. being gay is 'whatever' in this world, for the most part, on the other hand, you have to develop and stick to the underpinnings of the world. Fun, but tedious and tough sometimes. Answers: Stefren is the King's nephew and not in line for succession; Many other kingdoms; Fenzu is akin to Sensei - he is the head master of the Dojo where the fighters train; Dlgen are touched by the Twins (Gods) and are called to be above petty interkingdom spats. They are long lived, and very strong, fast, proficient. There is a lot more but unless and until I write it, I'm not going to give it away yet. Last - Harlin I think you have right, but add in broken still, Stefren is not inexperienced, more like unhappy with the loveless life he's had so far. His family is more interested in court intrigue than him as a person. Telg/Fenzu is not insensitive, but he is stern, for good reason, but that is a plot line to be developed in time. Oh well, back to whatever

Wayne, Thanks for reading. As I've said/will say, this is but a small snippet of the entire story. Stefren is a product of his upbringing - the Royal Court, complete with its intrigue and suspicious attitudes. Harlin is, as W.L. said, naive in many ways, but also still suffering from the rejection of his parents. His 'hero' worship for his father is an element of his personality - good or bad. I envision this as about 1/3 to 1/2 way through book 1, but that's all just speculation at this point, I don't have more than 15K written so far. Ugh, I need three mes to write this all down. LOL

Michael, You're right, fantasy and sci-fi are harder to write in many ways because you have to balance 'world building' and explaining the world, with character development and plot. Glad you enjoyed this. Andy

Thanks Connor glad you enjoyed it. The "Telg" Character has quite a lot left in him if I ever get around to writing the entire story. While I can understand the feelings of contempt for him at this point if I ever got around to writing the entire story I don't think you would feel that way when you read this chapter. In theory, there is a whole lot more to this the small chapter, but like I keep saying we need to find time to write. Thanks again for reading and for the comments.

Very clever! One of those stories that makes you re-read a few times to make sure you didn't miss clues. Nicely done.

JC, Wow! I'm really not sure what to say, that was emotional, amazing, truly wonderful. Andy

Thanks Nephy. There is a lot to this one, but it is on my 'list' of stories to work on. It's a toss up, feed baby q or write, Hmm. Thanks for the comments - glad you liked it. -- -- Andy

Sticking with Wayne's flash back to the time of bad outfits and big mullets - here's another 80's Christmas song - this one has the 'official' video - this one has better audio

Sam, you captured the moment of how one small thing can forever change a child and a life. Redemption is a wonderful thing, but I think in the end it doesn't undo the past. Provocative as always. Andy

That was rather chilling. It was interesting in a good way how you took us through the different emotions and gave the examples to explain them, but the end was not expected. Great job.

I guess what they say about selective forgetfulness is true - I have no recollection that the eighties had such terrible clothes and hair. I mean dag, that shit is BAD!!!